Benecio del Torro as the Wolfman

I’ve come to realize that I’m. . . unusual. The benefit of getting older is the increased ability to let your freak flag fly and be proud of it. So, while other women are gleefully unwrapping jewelry I won’t feel weird for not liking diamonds (though I do like semi-precious stones!). I won’t feel odd for not wanting to go out to a fancy restaurant with wine and candlelight.

All I want this Valentine’s Day is take out — or perhaps some Vietnamese food — and to see The Wolfman. Friends, I am practically dancing I’m so excited about this freaking film. So I’m hoping that a couple of hours out of my Valentine weekend will be spent with this handsome fellow to the left. The rest will no doubt be spent simply hanging out with my wonderful hubby. We do exchange gifts, but nothing too expensive — usually something we know the other one will really enjoy. And usually he gets me flowers because he’s sweet like that.

I still have the first Valentine card he ever gave me. It’s packed away somewhere or I’d scan and share it with you all. The gist of it was my then 24 year-old boyfriend superimposed his own head onto the half-naked dude in the card. The dude was black and white. Steve’s head was a color ID photo taken when he was 19 and grinning like an idiot.  I think that was the day I decided I *had* to marry him. I bought him a Superman T-shirt that he still has and still fits (I do hate him for having stayed fairly slim – lol). He bought me a poster of Waterhouse’s La Belle Dame Sans Merci. Yes, I still have it.

I’ve realized that Steve and I don’t celebrate V-Day in a traditional manner, but we still celebrate in ways that mean something to us.  So, we’ll go see the Wolfman and Steve will hold my hand and laugh when I jump at scary parts. I’ll share my popcorn and afterward maybe we’ll grab some grub somewhere and yak about the movie and repeat our favorite lines. We’ll laugh and have some fun and just enjoy being with one another because in addition to being my husband, he’s my best friend — poor thing.

So that’s what Valentine’s Day means to me; Hanging out with the guy who has been my favorite Valentine since that first V-Day 14 years ago. Maybe he’ll wear his Superman T-shirt.  Nothing traditional, but it works for us.

What are your plans for V-Day? Do you and your significant other have any rituals?

 My favorite day in February is without doubt February 14, Valentine’s Day.  I already have plans in mind for this special occasion.  I’m going to cook my husband and daughter a special dinner to celebrate not just how much I love them as amazing individuals, but us being a close, loving family.  I’ve already had requests for a traditional English dinner of roast beef and Yorkshire puddings, and I’m happy to cater to this request, since it’s one of my favorite meals, too.

Speaking of favorites, I realized the other day that this February 14 will be the 17^th one my husband and I are celebrating as a married couple.  That’s pretty romantic, to me.  One of my all-time-favorite memories of us as a couple is of our honeymoon in Oxfordshire, England.

My husband and I married in Canada, where I grew up.  However, since my husband and I had met in England while I was studying in London and living with relatives, and we both had friends and family who couldn’t attend the Canadian ceremony, we decided to have a second reception in England.

I knew he and I were going to honeymoon for a few days somewhere before this celebration, but my husband stubbornly refused to say where.  Of course, I did my best to persuade him to tell me, but he just grinned and refused to give any clues.  The suspense was both thrilling and a little unnerving.  After we flew to the UK, he rented a car and off we went, me still unaware of our final destination.

Well, it was definitely worth the wait.  I was more than thrilled when we ended up at the beautiful Weston Manor Hotel, an exquisite building with old wooden panels and creaky floors that dates back to the 11^th century.  My husband, knowing how much I love history, historic sites, and antiques, thought this would be the perfect getaway.  He was right!  The lovely gardens were the perfect setting for walks in the morning sunshine.  Our room had a huge claw-footed tub, perfect for bubble baths and relaxing with a glass of wine and a book.  And our honeymoon package included delicious gourmet dinners every night.  Fabulous!  The stay was perfect in every way, and made me appreciate all the more what a wonderful man I’d married.  The kind of guy who’d make a pretty darned good story hero.

Is it any wonder I write romance? 

What about you?  Do you have a romantic memory you’d like to share?

***
Meet Catherine at the Valentine’s book signing on Saturday, February 13, from 2-4 p.m. at Borders, 600 N. Orlando Avenue in Winter Park, Florida.  She’ll be autographing copies of her medieval historical romances for reader fans, including her latest release, A Knight’s Temptation, Book 3 of her Knight’s Series.  Please stop by for yummy chocolate, free bookmarks, and other goodies.  For more information on Catherine’s books and her upcoming novels, visit her website.

Saturday morning Ultimate Sportsfan and I were at Starbucks. I was drinking a peppermint mocha (did you know they have those all year?) and eating a muffin when USF grabs my arm and says, real low, “That’s Craig Biggio.”

So I say, real low, “The baseball guy?”

He says, “Yes.”

I watch Craig Biggio, who is wearing a cap and sunglasses, go to the counter, order, and then wait for his coffee. He seems normal enough, so I say to USF, “Do you want to get his autograph?”

USF says, “No. I’m not going to bother him.”

That makes sense to me. If I was Craig Biggio and just out to get a kolache (from the place next to Starbucks) and a cup o’ joe early Saturday morning, I wouldn’t want to have to stop and sign autographs either.

On the other hand, maybe I would. I mean, I’ve been asked for my autograph before, and it was pretty cool. Once in the airport after an RWA conference someone came up to me and asked me to sign one of my books. I was pretty flattered and not at all put out. But that was just one person and one time.

So what about you? Have you ever seen someone famous? Did you ask for his or her autograph? Have you ever been asked for your autograph?

My randomly chosen winner is Linda Henderson. Please email me at kathy@katherinegarbera.com with your snail mail address.

You can’t turn the TV on or go to a theatre these days without seeing something paranormal related. People are seriously into the weird and unexplained. From Supernatural to Fringe to movies like Zombieland and District 9, the woo-woo is everywhere. And books are no different. Especially romance novels and young adult fiction. I bought my nieces some books for Christmas and of the 6 books I bought, 4 of them were paranormal. They’re eating it up. Vampires, fallen angels, witches, and other strange things that go bump in the night. The creativity in YA books right now is simply astounding.

I read it too, though now exclusively. I’ve been reading Jim Butcher’s Dresden series for years. And while JD Robb’s series probably isn’t considered paranormal, it is futuristic and that counts in the woo-woo world, just a slightly different area. I also am a fan of Charlain Harris and the Sookie Stackhouse series. So I enjoy a good amount of of the strange and unusual though I admit I haven’t joined the party to the extent of a lot of readers who read almost exclusively paranormal. I am interested though, very interested in finding some new authors and books to read. Also my Legend Hunter series, while mostly historical romance, has some paranormal elements and I’ve really enjoyed dabbling with that.

So how about it? Are you a paranormal fan? What are your favorite authors and books in that genre? What about TV shows? Are you hooked on any of the woo-woo shows?

I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I have a sinus infection and bronchitis (for sure), pneumonia (possibly).

I don’t have a creative thought in my stuffed, fever-ridden head.

So, I thought I’d give YOU the opportunity to write a blog (on anything).

My favorite blog will win some free books. I have a lot of new books hanging around that I’d be happy to share. So….blog away. And much thanks!

I’m not what you’d call a real athletic woman in fact I’m the ultimate non-sporty girl, but I love the Super Bowl. I blame my parents of course for this. I grew up a fan of the Miami Dolphins when the great Bob Giese was the quarterback and Don Shula their coach. I morphed into a Dan Marino fan though I have to be honest and admit that I did like Joe Montana and my loyalties were divided while he was playing for the 49ers.

And now I have no team l root for regularly but I do have players that I really like. And this Sunday two of them will be playing. The first is Payton Manning and the second is Drew Brees. I know that’s crazy. I have no idea who I’m going to cheer for this Sunday during our little family party.

My daughter (a.k.a. awesomeness in human form) is a fierce Colts fan. She wore her Colts jersey all season even though we live in Dallas and the Cowboys were having a good year. My fiance is a Saints fan. And my son (a.k.a. beautiful face) is a fan of the commercials and the chicken wings that I always make.

I’m stuck. You can see my problem here. I can’t just willy-nilly chose one team to cheer for. I need to have good reasons for that cheering and my old way of choosing a team–who’s quarterback is the cutest is out. I mean I’m old enough now to be the older sister of some of these guys!

So what’s your thoughts? If you are watching the game are you pulling for the Colts or the Saints? Or are you just there for the excellent snacks and the commercials?

I will send an autographed copy of my upcoming Bare Witness to one lucky blog participant today!

Katherine

I have an embarrassing confession to make: until earlier this week, I didn’t know how to check the pressure in my car tires, nor did I know how to put air in the tires. I learned, and that’s the important thing. I also found out it’s so easy, even a five year old could do it, but until the “very low tire pressure” warning light flashed on my dashboard, the need to bone up on that skill had flown under my radar.

That experience started me thinking about other things women need to know. Don’t worry, this isn’t a practical list. As empowering as it is to pump up my own tires, I’ll save the sensible list for another time. Right now, let’s go a little more intangible.

Here’s my top eleven list of things women should know:

HOW TO FLIRT FOR THE SPORT OF IT. Even if you’re married, it’s all in good fun and can be an instant self-confidence booster. So go ahead, make eye-contact, smile Work it, girl!

HOW TO FEEL COMFORTABLE HAVING LUNCH BY YOURSELF /GOING TO A MOVIE BY YOURSELF / TRAVELING BY YOURSELF. Learn how to enjoy your own company so you don’t miss out while waiting for a friend or lover to finally get around to doing what you want.

HOW TO POLITELY, BUT FIRMLY, DEFEND AN ISSUE YOU’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT. Even if you don’t win over the person to your side, the point is having a position and being able to articulate it. If you missed it, see guest blogger, Adele Ashworth’s fabulous (2/2/2010) post on defending the romance genre. She made me stand up and cheer! Go, Adele!!

HOW TO TELL WHICH IS YOUR DRINK AND BREAD PLATE AT A LUNCHEON WHERE THE PLACE SETTINGS ARE CRAMMED TOGETHER ON A ROUND TABLE. A friend of mine who was once a Walt Disney World Ambassador learned a trick in an etiquette class Disney sent her to as part of her training: with your hands in your lap, make a circle by touching your thumb and forefinger together on each hand while holding your other three fingers up. You’ll notice that your left hand forms a small “b” and your right hand forms a small “d.” The “b” of your left hand reminds you that your bread plate is on your left, and the “d” of your right hand signifies that your drink is on the right. Cool, huh? Go confidently to that luncheon!

HOW TO DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM A “TOXIC FRIEND.” This can be difficult, but really, it’s a matter of self-preservation. You don’t have to be nasty, just unavailable.

HOW TO GET RID OF GUILT.  Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said: No one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. Same applies to this – no one can make you feel guilty unless you allow them.

HOW TO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. Eleanor’s rule can loosely apply here, too. It’s not always about you and sometimes that’s a good thing.

HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF. There’s something remarkably liberating about not taking yourself too seriously. This is one of the most important things I’m trying to teach my daughter. And it requires me making a huge fool of myself a great deal of the time. I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun.

HOW TO SAY NO. This is a hard one for me, especially when it comes to NOT volunteering for the various writers’ organizations I belong to and NOT taking on committee work for my daughter’s school. There are only so many hours in a day and it’s amazing how fast they fill up-and not always with things we want to do.

HOW TO SAY YES. This one is hard for me, too. It’s sort of the converse of the “just say no” item above. Learn how to say yes to things you want to do – girls weekends; writing conferences, the occasional splurge on an expensive trinket for yourself. You work hard and you deserve a treat every once in a while.

FINALLY, KNOW WHAT’S SPECIAL ABOUT YOU. Everyone has something unique and special about them. What makes you special? Me? I know how to put air in my tires! I think that’s pretty cool!

That’s my top eleven. What about you? What are some things you think every woman should know?

Look for THE FAMILY THEY CHOSE by Nancy Robards Thompson –  Available February 2010

   C’mon! Admit it — wasn’t Paul your favorite Beatle? Sigh….he was mine for sure.  When I first saw him on TV, on the Ed Sullivan Show, I nearly swooned for the first time in my then-pretty-short life. Those soulful eyes, that hair….sigh…I was in love.

 I could not see how anyone thought the others were better looking, or could sing better, than MY Paul. Throughout the Beatles career, I championed Paul, cheered when I saw “A Hard Day’s Night” and “HELP!” and mourned at the possibility that Paul was DEAD?!? He was my favorite.

Back when the Beatles toured, I was too young to go to a live concert.             And, unlike today,  musical groups and artists did not visit every town in America while on tour–only major places in major cities.  So, for years and years, decades even, I never got the chance to see the Beatles, or MY Paul, live in concert. So, I saved my babysitting money up and bought their records, their LPs, posters, 16 Magazine and anything else I could find while waiting for the chance to see Paul in person.

Fast forward to the early 90s and Philadelphia’s Veterans’ Stadium….the Beatles are done, Paul is married (how could he!??) to Linda and they’re touring the US and finally, finally!!, I am in the crowd! Woohooo! Paul in person and I was only in my late 30s, married, a mom and still a fan. In spite of my husband’s presence (yeah, I had to take him) and his stern glares, when Paul came on stage, I did what I’d waited years to do –

I stood up and screamed “I LOVE YOU PAUL!” at the top of my lungs!

It felt great. It felt empowering. It felt so good to release all the feelings I’d held inside since teenager years and let him know how I felt about him. He was my favorite…sigh…. And you know, I’ve seen him in concert several times since then and the reaction is the same each time — I am transported back to being 13 years old and in love.

This week, dear hubby (who is a Beatles fan because of their music and is not affected by how cute they were….) and I are going to see a Beatles tribute band — RAIN is appearing in Philadelphia. We’ve seen a few others, like Beatlemaniacs and the British Invasion (in Disney’s Epcot) and enjoyed them, but RAIN is supposed to be one of the best aka sound and look the most like the originals.

No, I know they’re not the real thing, but for a few short hours, I’m going to suspend my disbelief and relive my teenage years. And I may even scream out “I LOVE YOU, PAUL!” once or twice just for fun!

So, who was/is your favorite Beatle? Or were you a fan of their music? Let me know by posting between now and Saturday and I’ll pick someone to win a RAIN souvenir and an autographed book!

Terri (whose favorite is still….sigh….Paul)

When not lamenting Paul’s marriage to Linda (she doesn’t talk about the OTHER one), Terri is working on her next Brava and Harlequin Historical releases. Visit her website at www.terribrisbin.com  for more info and to see where you can meet her in PERSON!

Thanks, Margo, and all the Jaunty Quill ladies for the invitation to be here today! I haven’t blogged in a long time, and during the last couple of weeks I kept struggling with an idea for a topic – and then, in the most unlikely place, it came to me.

Two weekends ago I was in Phoenix to celebrate my father’s 70^th birthday, and at the party, before dinner, as about 15 family members were mingling over cocktails, my aunt asked me the typical questions we authors often get asked: Are you still writing romances? How’s the book business going? Do you still enjoy it after all these years? And of course my answers were the standard: Yes, sure, I’m still writing romances. The book business, as far as romance goes, is plugging along just fine. I enjoy it as much as anyone enjoys a really cool job. Yada, yada… My mistake, however, was adding this:

Me: “Sometimes I struggle to write love scenes after all these years, though. I mean, aside from different characters and places, sex is sex, and it’s never my favorite part to write in any of my books. Writing sex – for me – is hard.”

My aunt: “Well, why don’t you just stop writing the sex part? Can’t you just skim over that?”

Me: “Um, it’s kind of hard to do that. Actually, the love scenes are a very integral part of my stories. I just find them difficult to write. But intense love scenes are part of my books, and my readers love and expect them.”

Now, before you all decide this is a topic on writing sex, it’s not.  Though feel free to discuss that if you want! But my aunt’s response was the shocker. Here’s her reply, not kidding:

My aunt: “Well, I imagine most of the women who read romances are bored housewives and reading romance novels is how they get their jollies.”

Ugh.

Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who always thinks of a really good reply to an insult three days late. Of course my aunt wasn’t trying to be insulting; she’s just totally uninformed. I get that. And that’s the most difficult part – responding to an ignorant statement without sounding defensive and repeating the mantra, “I promise you romance is not about the sex! Smart women read romance! On the RWA website they have these statistics, and it says…” Blah, blah, blah.

So what was my genius reply?  My answer to my 64-year-old aunt at that moment was, “Well, that’s kind of a romance-reader cliché, actually. Most romance readers are educated women, and they don’t read them for the sex alone.”

Yeah. Okay. I’m sure that was convincing. Yes, basically, I just muttered the mantra, the standard RWA/respect-a-romance-reader/author defensive reply without thinking. I can’t remember if she just nodded or commented after that, but I was totally befuddled. I mean, I would have expected a comment about bored housewives from some guy on an airplane, but from a woman who’s lived through the sexual revolution and fought the stereotypes?

This whole exchange got under my skin. For years, romance readers and writers have been trying to gain more respect for a genre we love by appealing to the mainstream and trying to gain acceptance. Even RWA has tried its best to better educate the masses regarding who romances actually appeal to, and who is buying them. We’ve even got websites dedicated to denouncing the clichés and stereotypes (think Smart Bitches and AAR). But maybe we’re just going about it the wrong way? Maybe we’re trying too hard or wasting time? Maybe we’re beating a dead horse?

After this episode, I thought long and hard about my last decade in this business, and how I’ve tried to get not only my family to understand it, but how RWA and educated woman readers and writers have tried as well. The women in my family are all very educated. Even my grandmothers had advanced college degrees from the 1930s. My mother has a Ph.D. My sister, aunts, cousins… all educated. And not one of them reads romances as a genre of choice. Now, that’s not a fault or anything. They don’t look down on romance; it just doesn’t appeal to them.

My mom is a rabid mystery reader, so I know she’s not highbrow all the time. My sister teaches high school and doesn’t have time, frankly, to read much of anything for pleasure. Both, however, do read my books when a new one is released. Both say they enjoy them. Yay for me. My mom has asked me more than once why I don’t want to “branch out” into something else. She probably thinks mystery is a better genre because it’s her preferred choice. Who knows? But why should I, or anyone, try to change her mind about romance? Really, who cares what she thinks about the genre? My mom still recommended my last book to one of her bookclubs for their monthly read, and she recently told me she found me a “new fan” on a cruise by introducing my books to someone she met who reads romances regularly. I know my mom and sister are proud of me, my profession, and will buy and read my books. That’s about it. Will either of them pick up a Kathryn Smith or Terri Brisbin novel? No. And you know what? That’s fine. I’m sure Terri and Kate have family to make up for the lost readership of mine.

Here’s my point:  Why are we trying so hard to make people love us? Why are we, as romance readers and writers, trying so hard to get respect from people who don’t read romances regularly enough to know the difference between the clichéd and the awesome? Or, more precisely, between Barbara Cartland and Lisa Kleypas? Why do we give a rat’s puckered butt what the “mainstream” thinks of what we read and write? Maybe in my middle-age I’ve become jaded and tired of everybody in this business trying so damn hard, but seriously, who’s making the money here? Which genre is keeping the publishing biz afloat? Uh-huh. Exactly.

 I think we have some serious respect already, from the only people who matter. And if someone like my educated aunt can say she thinks romance novels are only being read by bored housewives, then well, it’s a shame she’s so uninformed. I think from now on we should all carry around one great book we love (or one of our own if we’re authors) in our purse or backpack or car to hand out to the ignorant, so that when that ill-informed individual on the plane or in Starbucks says, “Wow, you write/read trash?” we can snicker with a shake of the head, reach into our handbag, and offer them our little book gift as we say with feigned sadness, “You poor soul, you don’t have a clue, do you?” Or, if you’re less feisty, just a simple, “Try this book. You do not know what you’ve been missing!” I mean really, what else can we do but recommend a really good book? The worst that can happen is that Mr./Ms. Ignorant will pass it along, and it’ll eventually fall into the lap of someone who will love it.

We can’t make people enjoy romance when they’re mystery readers at heart; or respect us, our work, or our reading material if they don’t want to give it a college try because the stereotypes are tattooed on their brains. Why get defensive and try to convince them with stats? I say better to let them think we know something they, as poor ignorant souls, do not, than to keep begging for friggin’ respect. Enough already!

Finally, a really good, bestselling author friend (who shall not be named because she’s never given me permission to repeat this) has discussed this topic with me more than once, and her feeling is summed up this way: “I know what I write. I know what my readers what to read. If you want to compare it to literature, then sure, it’s fluff. So what? What’s wrong with fluff? Why is there no respect in fluff? Why do we always have to compare ourselves to great literature? I don’t write literature, I write fluff and my readers buy it, love it and want more. That doesn’t make me any less of a professional, and I don’t have to apologize for it.”

Fluff is good! So let’s stop beating that poor dead horse named “Respect Romance or Die” and just offer a book to the uninformed instead. It isn’t nearly as exhausting! Any comments?

Be sure to check out Adele’s newest book, My Darling Carline – and be on the lookout this summer for The Duke’s Captive.