MjAxMy02MWE2NjQzMWI4NmNjZTgx You’ve probably heard of the Myers-Brigg personality assessment. If you’re a writer, I know you have. In any case there are 16 types and you can take a test, there are a slew of online ones and they tell you about your personality type. It’s just components, certainly not all inclusive. Now I say as a writer I know you’ve heard about it because us writers are pros when it comes to personality tests and we’re on a first-name basis with all our baggage. For example, I know I’m a total control-freak (also very common among writers, well and moms), I’m reluctant to try new things because I’m not sure I’ll be able to do them right (AKA perfectionist), I have serious body-image issues, and I’m bossy as hell (is that the same thing as being a control freak?)

One of the other things I know about myself, and to bring us back to the subject matter and the Myers-Brigg assessment is that I am an introvert. Now I don’t know if there are levels of introverts, but if there are, I’d think I was a Class 4 (on a scale from 1-5), nearly as introverted as one can get. This doesn’t mean I can’t function socially, but I do need my space. Which brings us to the problem with being an introverted mom. Okay so there’s probably not just one problem, but there is a significant one.

There are days when I wake up and though I might not recognize it immediately, it is a day when I need to be alone. Not simply because I need to recharge, but because if I’m around other people I tend to get snippy. I’m not in the mood to talk. At all. I just want to be inside my head and have quiet. These are the days when I’m the worst sort of mom. Most of the time I won’t even notice it until mid-afternoon and I realize I’ve been grumpy with my girls all day. I’ll try to stop and reassess the situation, think of ways I can either (a) be more patient or (b) occupy them without having to engage too much. It’s not that I want to ignore them, but as an introvert, I crave, I need, alone, quiet time in order to function properly. And sleeping doesn’t count. I need awake time to be quiet and alone.

It’s not so much that I don’t like people (though there are days…) it really just has to do with my energy level. The stuff I need to be the best me, that stuff only gets refilled during those alone moments. They’re few and far between these days. And this week, which marks the third year we’ve had our girls, I’m so thankful for my children and the family we’ve become. But I also believing knowing this about myself and taking action to make sure they aren’t the butt of my grumps, makes me a better mom.

BuzzFeed’s 31 Unmistakable Signs That You’re an Introvert

 

So how about you? Do you know where you are on the spectrum? Do you think your personality brings challenges to your parenting or to any of your other relationships?  


In the writing world we all know that “the call” is when an editor calls you and offers to buy your book. Getting that first call is exhilarating and scary and a myriad of other emotions. For many of us it’s a long time coming. For me, personally, I waited 7 years and in those years wrote 5 manuscripts before that first book sold (Courting Claudia) In any case it’s about as exciting a phone call as you can ever receive. But I’ve received a different kind of phone call. It was nearly 4 years ago and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately as I’m preparing to speak to a group of moms soon about my experience with foster-care adoption.

The Professor and I had been through classes and all the licensing rigamarole you must go through in order to be approved as foster-to-adopt parents. Our social worker (for lack of a better thing to call her) had been in touch with me several times, presenting kiddo options. We’d said no to a few due to some issues we felt we weren’t prepared to handle and some we said yes to. Basically when you say yes they submit your home study and then a handful of people read through that and make a decision based on that. But back to the story…so our social worker called me to tell me about these two little girls and did I want to submit our home study. Well, The Professor was actually in class, but I didn’t need to consult with him, it seemed a reasonable enough situation to say yes to.

And then the waiting began. I knew we would be working on a fast time line because the girls’ social worker wanted them placed like two weeks later. So we waited for what seemed like FOREVER and then we got THE CALL. Selling a book was damn exciting, but getting this call was way cooler. We were picked to be the girls’ parents. Of course we had some issues to deal with over the ensuing months (that’s another blog) but they would be ours. And we had exactly 7 days to get ready. Now most of you get a good 9 months to plan and prep for a baby. We had to plan and prep for a baby and a toddler in just a week. I didn’t get a shower, but plenty of my friends gave me gifts and hand-me-downs to help get me set-up (including my fellow Jaunty sisters!) Much shopping ensued and we were ready when they got here. Okay, let me rephrase that, their room was ready, there was really no readiness (emotionally speaking) for us (but again, that’s another blog).

Tell me, how did you plan for your little ones? I’ll pick two commenters to win my first book, Courting Claudia. You can pick whether you get a ebook or paperback.


Robyn DeHart
Robyn DeHart

Discussion:
9 comments

Categories:
family, Robyn DeHart

Tags:
, , , ,

I suspect there are lots of great moms out there, I’ve met many of them, but I dare say you won’t find one better than my mom. She’s great for many reasons, but one of the main ones is because she’s just plain fun to be around. We tease a lot that our antics, which have often involved my sister as well, are very much like Lucy and Ethel from I Love Lucy. Someday I’ll tell y’all about my mom vs. the bus when we were traveling in London. And someday I’ll tell y’all about her very bad idea involving Ben-Gay. But today I want to tell you about her most recent chuckle-inducing behavior.

A couple of summers ago, I was having some medical issues that required weekly visits to the specialist. My mom came with me to those visits because The Professor was teaching summer school. On one such day we’d left the appointment with some bad news and I was tired and upset and hungry because I hadn’t been able to eat breakfast that day. So we stopped at the first place we saw, which happened to be a McDonalds. We went through the drive-thru and as I was driving around she informed she had to go to the bathroom, so I parked and waited. I was halfway into my Egg McMuffin when I saw her walk to the driver side of the car and then she proceeded to get into the car parked next to us. I was trying to honk and bang on the window to get her attention, but luckily the poor girl sitting in that car (whom she scared half to death) assured her that she was in the wrong vehicle.

Eight days later we were out running errands and we left the store and I was walking to the car and was talking to her, turned around and couldn’t find her. I looked around and called out because I was concerned she might have fallen, but nope, she got in someone else’s car again. And before you think she’s suffering from dementia, she’s not, she’s sharp as a tack. I think it’s mostly that she’s terrible with car descriptions. Both of the vehicles she got in were small SUV’s like mine, but neither were a Honda and neither were blue. And she’s actually done this before…

Several years ago (before I was even married) we had stopped at the small grocery store on the way home and I was driving her car. She had gone into the store and I waited outside. Out of nowhere an intense rainstorm started and by the time she came out it was pouring and when I say pouring, I mean like crazy, fat drops drenching the ground. In any case she came out of the store and proceeded to go to another vehicle even though I was honking trying to get her attention though admittedly I was laughing hysterically too as she actually pounded on the window of the other car. She finally found me, but she looked like a severely wet and irritated cat by the time she got in with me.

So there you go, some of my mom’s funniest moments. There are more, I assure you. So how about you? Have you ever gotten in the wrong car before? Or what’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you lately?


Robyn DeHart
Robyn DeHart

Discussion:
10 comments

Categories:
Robyn DeHart

I don’t watch the news much. Primarily because if it’s important or interesting, The Professor will tell me because he is a news junkie. But you know there’s also the my-time-is-precious thing and if I get free time away from the kiddos, then there are any number of things I’d rather do. That being said, every now and then I go looking online for something news specific and today happened to be one of those times. Here are the 5 oddest/most interesting headlines I came across…

1. Um….Chalres Manson is getting married! What? There’s so much wrong with that headline. But the one I keep going back to is that there is someone out there who *wants* to marry him. Charles Manson with the dead, shark eyes. 

2. First pot auction held in Washington. Pot as in marijuana. Sold at auction. I don’t even know what to say. 

3. World cup of skydiving in Austin this weekend. If you know anything about Austin, this shouldn’t surprise you at all. 

4. ‘Honey Boo Boo’ star Mama June denies relationship with child molester. Okay, I don’t watch this show (I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged about reality TV on here before) But seriously, why is this even a conversation? Surely if she is dating a child molester, then the police should get involved or at the very least Child Protective Services. 

5. And finally…Serial robbery by knifepoint. So recently we’ve had a string of robberies occur in shopping parking lots where this guy is taking people’s purchases. It seems like this sort of thing happens every year. You hear about people having their cars broken into and people stealing all their Christmas purchases. It’s nuts. Even if you can’t afford presents, how is stealing other people’s effective? I mean, let’s say someone stole all of the gifts I’ve bought so far – unless they have young daughters and a brainiac husband, they’re going to be super disappointed. 

So have you seen any interesting/odd/funny news headlines lately? 


idea-clipart-canstock15210914Last night I went to the monthly meeting of my local RWA chapter. Most of the time we have a speaker come in and give a talk, but a couple of meetings a year we do a more social/interactive thing and these always end up being my favorites. So this meeting was a giant brainstorming party, but we did it like speed dating. What a blast it was. Not only did I get to learn about the writing of some people that I don’t often get to talk to, but I got some help on my next book. 

The cool thing about brainstorming is that you can really do it anywhere and with anyone. Even people who aren’t helpful (often for me this is The Professor) can be helpful in their unhelpfuness – if that makes sense. It’s like you give people your writing problem and then have people throw out ideas and sometimes you just have to pull the weeds to find the pretty flowers. Okay, that’s a terrible metaphor, but often for me, I know when I an idea doesn’t work and it can lead me to the one idea that rings my bell. 

1bbfbdd04867e7a1bce09561b8f4552f

Why, Tom Hiddleston, is that you???

Which brings me to the point of my blog, I need some brainstorming help…here’s my issue, I’m about to start book 2 in a trilogy and I *think* my hero and heroine know each other from the past, but they weren’t romantically involved. She’s older than him and now their paths are going to cross because of his work and something with her late husband. So give me your best ideas for how they know each other…ready, GO!

And just so you can have a little “reward” for all your efforts, here’s my inspiration for my hero, Gabriel. 


Keep in contact through the following social networks or via RSS feed:

  • Follow on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Subscribe