We all have this list. Maybe we haven’t committed them to paper, but hard experience has taught us NOT to repeat certain behaviors. Here are a few of mine:
1. Sunbathe – I used to feel it wasn’t summer until I was brown as the proverbial berry. Unfortunately, I fell asleep by the side of the pool one day. I was lying on my stomach in full sun for a couple of hours. By the time I woke, blisters were forming behind my knees.
I was walking like the bride of Frankenstein for days. From then on, sunscreen was my best friend!
2. Move – When I was a kid, we moved 5 times. I attended 3 different grade schools and 2 different high schools. Once I married the DH, my nomadic tendencies only intensified. We have lived in 9 states, 4 different time zones. I used to describe my moves as extended vacations, ones I just happened to drag all my stuff along on.
Last May, we moved to the Ozarks to be close to my parents and our daughters. I’m done with packing tape forever!
3. Go to a “Learn to Paint in an Hour” event – I went with my friend for an evening out at one of those places that claim you’ll walk out with a finished canvas. Since I’ve always enjoyed drawing and I’ll color with any kid who’ll loan me a crayon, I figured I’d have a good time.
Unfortunately, the instructor didn’t assume I knew nothing about painting. She gave us NO instruction on the technique needed to achieve the look she got with a few deft strokes. My finished product now graces the wall of my garage.
But the strawberry in the situation was spending an evening with my friend.
4. Take a selfie – When I got my hair cut drastically shorter, I thought I’d share the new look with the world. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the angle right when I just held the phone out, so I decided to try to take a pic in the bathroom mirror.
Bad move. Not only did I clip off the top of my head, which sort of negates the reason for taking the pic in the first place, I managed to capture a whole slew of bras drying on the bathroom door behind me.
Guess the selfie craze is something in which I’ll have to politely decline to participate.
OK, I’ve told you some of my nevermores. Now, it’s YOUR turn! What will you NEVER do again?
But this week only one person will win one. HoldenJ will receive a digital copy of DRAGONSONG because she left a comment on my Things My Dad Says post. She’ll be hearing from me soon! DRAGONSONG is the last in my Songs of the North series and answered the burning question–Was Leif Erickson really the first person to discover Iceland? If that makes you shiver, it’s also a love story between an Irish queen and a hot Viking warrior.
File this under “Funniest Home Video Not Taken!”
Back when cellphones were just for talking on and the DH and I were too poor to pay attention, let alone buy a video camera, we still managed to scrape together enough money for our girls to take ballet lessons. During the final weeks leading up to the recital, I had a premonition of disaster to come because Daughter #2 had a running argument with her teacher over where she should stand on the stage. The clever instructor had taped numbers on the floor and assigned a dancer to each.
The logic was unassailable. If only we’d listened to her…
On the night of the recital, she fixed the problem. Instead of taking her place on the despised #3, she took center stage, about five feet in front of the rest of the dancers, as if she were the prima ballerina and the others the lowly “also ran’s.”
My heart sank to my toes. The music began and she proceeded to dance. Her choreography bore no resemblance to the steps being executed by the rest of the group, further bolstering the sense that she was the featured performer. Ok, I thought. Perhaps we’ll escape without total embarrassment.
Then she had a wardrobe malfunction.
Her elasticized tutu must have become uncomfortable because she grabbed it at her hips and hiked it up under her armpits. Satisfied that she had fixed the situation, she resumed dancing to the beat only she could hear.
The audience realized by this time that the performance had been commandeered by a pint-sized prima donna. They began to laugh. Daughter #2 did not find it funny. She fisted her hands at her waist and cast them a glare that should have reduced them all to a quivering pile of goo.
There’s never a sink hole when you need one. I would have willingly allowed myself to be swallowed up.
I was not able to collect her after the recital and slink away unnoticed. I lost count of how many times people pointed and said, “Oh, look! It’s the little tutu girl.”
Mortified doesn’t begin to cover it.
But that was then. Now we laugh about it and wish with all our hearts that we’d have captured the whole escapade on tape.
It so would have made us $100,000.00!
Share and you’ll be entered to win a digital copy of my “How to” series, 3 full length novels in one rollicking book bundle. Be sure to drop by next Thursday, Feb. 26th when I’ll announce the winner!
And if you were entertained by my tutu girl story, I’d love it if you’d try one of my books. Here are links to some major etailers: Amazon, B&N, Kobo, iBooks, Books-a-Million, Powells, Book Depository.
It means the world to me when someone decides to spend some time with my stories. Truly.
I was a music major in college so it’s no surprise that music is an important part of my life. I especially love Christmas music and I’d love to share some of my favorites with you. Now since I’m a classically trained soprano, you’re probably expecting me to post vids of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus or Menotti’s Amahl & the Night Visitors. But my taste in music is pretty broad.
Here’s a wonderful rendition of The Little Drummer Boy by Take 6, a fabulous acapella group. I was washing dishes the first time I heard this on the radio. I had to call the station to find out the name of the group so I could run out and buy He is Christmas, the album the song is on. Turn up the volume on your computer and enjoy!
Last Christmas, Daughter #1 introduced me to Sarah Maclachlan’s The First Noel/Mary, Mary. It quickly became my new favorite. There’s such a wonderful mix of styles and rhythms, parts of it make me want to dance!
And lastly, here’s my Christmas song discovery for this year. It’s a bluegrass version of Jingle Bells. My music profs would be writhing on the floor if they knew. I can hardly believe it myself. I usually loath blue grass, but I flat out LOVE this:
How can you not smile at that?
What’s your favorite Christmas song? Or if you celebrate Hanukkah, do you have special music that helps you get into the spirit of the holiday?
If you’d like a Christmas romance to get into the holiday mood, please pop over to my website for some recommended reads by some of my favorite authors–Shana Galen, Grace Burrowes, Vanessa Kelly, and more!
As we head into the Christmas shopping season, I know some of you are wondering why I’m such a pickle about the whole process. Heaven knows, my mother wonders why the shopping gene skipped over me entirely. She blames herself, but I try to tell her it’s not her fault. Maybe this will help explain matters.
One year for Christmas, when my kids were little, Cabbage Patch Kids were the “must have” item. Sure enough, #1 Daughter wanted one. Unfortunately, the things were in such demand, I couldn’t find one anywhere. By the time I got to wherever they were advertised for sale, they were sold out.
People were absolutely silly over these dolls. There were reports of near riots when stores ran out of them. Shoppers who had managed to snag one were accosted by other desperate parents before they would make it out to their cars with the much-sought-after toy. Scalpers were turning them for small fortunes.
And my daughter REALLY wanted one.
Finally at the last store I tried and failed to acquire one because they’d sold out so quickly, I asked the manager if they were giving rain checks. In a hushed tone, he said they were and told me to leave my name and contact information.
I never expected to hear from him again, but about a week later I got a call.
“The item you requested is in,” he said.
“You mean the Cabbage Patch–”
“Shh! Don’t say the name. How soon can you get here?”
5 minutes to find my purse, 5 minutes to drop my kids at my friend’s house, 5 minutes to lift my jaw from the floor and recover from the shock that the store manager had actually called…”Give me 20 minutes.”
“Make it 10.”
He went on to warn me not to tell anyone what I was going to the mall to pick up. When I arrived at the store I was supposed to ask for “Gwen”–with all the cloak and dagger nonsense, I suspect that was an alias–and I was NOT to say I was there for a Cabbage Patch Doll. I was there to collect an “item.” Failure to abide by the rules would lose me my chance to nab the most wanted toy on the planet and might just get me mugged.
Feeling as if I should have worn a wig and dark glasses, I followed the instructions to the letter. “Gwen” had one question for me.
“With hair or without?”
I requested hair and she disappeared into the back room for a moment. She returned with a bag that had been stapled shut. I was instructed to pay for it sight unseen.
“Don’t open that until you get to your car,” she warned.
Heck, the way she made me feel a target had been painted on my back, I was tempted not to open it for two days! But curiosity won out…
And I was an exhausted anti-shopper in the making. So much angst and drama over a toy! I vowed then and there not to ever get sucked into the marketing mayhem of a mega-toy ever again.
At least not until the next Christmas when #1 Daughter wanted a Transformer!
How about you? Do you have any tales from Christmas shopping past to share? What do the kids in your life want this year?
PS. Now #1 Daughter is easy to shop for. Money always fits!
Looking for stocking stuffers for the romance readers on your list? Check out my Recommended Christmas Reads!
You’ll find stories from some of your favorite authors–Vanessa Kelly, Shana Galen, Grace Burrowes, Monica Burns, Paige Tyler, Terry Spear, Theresa Romain, Miranda Neville and more! Something for every reader on your list…
And maybe something for YOU too!