So I’ve been wearing the exact same eye make-up since 2003.  That’s not too bad I could have said 1987 and you’d have groaned and had this mental picture of another Kathy.   But no, I do this tasteful kind of natural looking thing that involves different shades of brown.  And it’s fine.  I doubt anyone would notice that I haven’t changed my eye make-up routine in ten years, but I was getting bored with it.

One day while I was procrastinating, I mean researching I came across a new to me website called The Small Things blog.  I then spent the rest of the afternoon watching hair tutorials (my characters might need to know how to do these styles) and then trying them out on my crazy curly hair a bit unsuccessfully.  But then I saw she had make-up tutorials and found a link to something called a Birch Box.

Its fabulous!  I mean it.  Each month you get small trail sized make-up products.  I love it.  This way I can try out new looks at home and not have to pay a fortune for stuff that I might not ever use again.  I mean I love gel eyeliner but I do not think I would have had the nerve to try it if it hadn’t come in my box.

Now when I leave the house I look like this:

Not really.  :) But in my mind I do.

Have you ever tried anything totally new?  And you should totally try the Birch Box if you like make-up.  Its only $10 or £10 a month.  They have it in the US and the UK.  And last month I got to try some lotion used by Posh Spice a.k.a. Victoria Beckham which I love and have now purchased.

Kathy

If  you’re reading this and thinking I’m going to tell you some related to the power of the number three that is mathematically correct then I’m very sorry to disappoint.  I’m thinking more of the magic that comes when you put three people together.  I’ve often wondered if that number dominates my life because I’m one of three siblings and so my earliest memories are of trying to live with in my place in a group of three.  Because I’m a bit odd I always look for patterns in life and see them re-occuring.  Its just connections I make and 3 seems very magical to me.

The parents and child relationship is three.  In my own parent child relationship the predominate bond was with my mother perhaps because my dad worked and she stayed at home but I found her influence to be the strongest.  I’ve always found I relate well to woman because of this (and probably because of my sisters) but men fascinate me.  I don’t truly understand them and I’m always searching to find out a bit more.

A part of me thinks this book may have influenced my obsession with tri-bonds as well.  Its one of the first books I can remember reading and its all about a threesome.  I love it and read it many times to my kids when they were little.

But where I think my obsession with the number three comes from is my bond with my sisters.  And we are all very close in age so we did everything together.  I’ve noticed looking back on the pattern of my life since I left home that I always have two really good friends in a circle of friends.  I always think of myself as the plain, solid one, which is what I functioned as in my own sibling tri-bond.

What about you?  Is there a pattern you see repeating in your life?  Was it started in childhood?

Yesterday my daughter turned 21. I can’t say that I greeted the news with joy since I do still wish she was at home with me instead of going to college, but since I whined a lot about my son turning 16 just a little over a month ago, I thought I’d take this chance to say all of the great things about being Courtney’s mom.

The first is that I insisted she call me every day when she first went to college. She complained and threatened but eventually (when I reminded her I pay her cell phone bill) gave in. At first our conversations were a little bit me trying to get every detail of her life and her being a bit bratty (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) and giving me one word answers. But over time that ended and we have really great conversations now.

We talk about books and movies and current events. We share our opinions and outlooks on things and I love how well-thought out her opinions are. She doesn’t just follow my lead like she used to when she was home but has formed her own viewpoint and I find it is one I really respect.

We dish on Hollywood hotties and have agreed not to mention that some are too young for me and others are too old for her. I mean come, on, surely Robert Downey Jr. is firmly mine and I guess she can have…Chris Hemsworth…no, she can’t have him.

The best part of these daily conversations is that it clearly demonstrates to me that she has ‘turned out’ (always hated that phrase when I was growing up…I’m not a coat) okay. More than okay, she’s great. And as her mom I couldn’t ask for more.

Today I want to know about you and your relationships…have you had one change on you? I can remember when my mom and I became friends more than mother and daughter as I am now with my Courtney.

I’m giving away a digital copy of Sizzle my latest release from Harlequin Blaze to three random drawn blog participants.

Kathy

My latest release from Harlequin Blaze, SIZZLE is at its heart a food book. The story takes place in California on the set of Premier Chef–The Masters. All of the chefs are skilled professionals but all have different reasons for being in the competition–some are trying to prove something to themselves, others are trying to prove something to the world. Staci Rowland is squarely in the first camp. She wants to prove that all the talent and potential she showed as a young chef is still there. Remy Cruzel…I’m sorry Remy “Stephens” is trying to prove to himself that he can cook and isn’t just getting by on his family name.

Every important event in my life is associated with a meal, I don’t know if that’s because of my Italian-American maternal side or just good-natured love of food, but it’s a fact. When I eat a dish I’m always assailed by memories. Like how my grandmother served steamed broccoli cold instead of hot. Or how my mother always added a dash of garlic powder to it. When I eat broccoli I’m back in my grandmother’s house sitting at the coffee table with my sisters eating coldish broccoli flavored with garlic powder.

Here’s a snippet from SIZZLE:
He didn’t say anything else on the drive and when they pulled up to the roadside diner on Sepulveda and everyone piled out of the vehicles, Remy took her hand and stopped her.
“What?”
“I just wanted us to be together when we go up there. What is it about this place that speaks to you?”
“The tradition of it,” she said. “And it reminds me of a trip I took with my mom and grandmother to New York City. We ate in a diner there…it was a good trip. The only real vacation I had with my mom since she was working all the time. When I take a bite of the pastrami sandwich here I remember that day and her laughter.”
Staci feared she’d said too much but Remy just nod¬ded. “For me it’s beignets at Café du Monde. My dad and I used to walk down there every Sunday morning and I’d sit while he read the paper. It was just the two of us…”
“Food should do that every time,” Staci said. “I can’t always capture it but that’s why the traditional recipes are important. Finding that familiar flavor and taking it some place new.”
“Yes,” he said.
But Staci could tell that he was lost in his own thoughts. She wondered if she’d given away too much by bringing him here but then she had learned over the years that most people only saw what they wanted to in her and in themselves. Remy wouldn’t realize how important food was to her and her past or that it was the key to her future.

What’s your strongest food memory?

I’m giving away electronic copies of SIZZLE today to three lucky blog participants. Normally I’d say happy reading, but today it’s bon appetite!

Tomorrow my baby will be 16. I can’t tell you how big an impact this is having on me because it will make me seem sappy and way too emotional. But he’s turned into a young man I’m extremely proud of. He’s good at math (like really good and since I do words and not numbers this impresses me). But he’s also good at life, funny, charming, and compassionate.

From the moment my children were born I’ve felt like I was extremely lucky to shepherd them through life. Though I had rules and “mothered” them I was very aware that they were distinct individuals. They were shaped by my own morals and my passions–books, movies, quotes, etc. And I’m surprised at how different they are from each other since I made no boy-rules vs girl-rules. I should say my oldest is a girl.

But at the same time I wish he was still a toddler again. I wish he’d come into a room and announce that its time for mommy and Lukey’s tickle-time. And conversely I get some of that in moment’s in the car when he isn’t on his smartphone texting with his friends or his girlfriend and we see one something that strikes as both as funny. Like the weird Matrix looking dude withe leather duster who walks through our town. Or the Hippies in their Orange VW camper bus.

I guess with each year I’m thankful that I have taken the time to know and love my kids at each stage but I still miss them being little and needing me for everything.

To pre-celebrate his birthday I’m giving away a $10 iTunes gift card to one lucky blog participant. All you have to do to be entered is tell me your favorite birthday memory–it can be your birthday or someone close to you.

As a special treat today, I asked some of the Quills about their most memorable Valentine’s Days. Here’s what they said:

Shana: When I was in high school, there was one Valentine’s Day that I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I felt so sorry for myself. I moped all day, didn’t get out of my pajamas, and didn’t put any make-up on or fix my hair. This was in the days of lots of make-up and big hair. My mom kept telling me to get dressed, but I was having a pity party. What I didn’t know was that a guy I’d dated a few times had called her and asked if it was okay if he stopped over and surprised me with flowers. He showed up, and I was so embarrassed. It was actually very sweet of him to bring me flowers but being all of sixteen I was too worried about how I looked to be as excited as I should have been.

Nancy: I don’t know that I can single out one most romantic Valentine’s Day in particular. That’s because The Chef is a master at making all Valentine’s Days special and romantic. He never forgets and always brings me a dozen red roses, champagne and the perfect card. Usually, he gives me chocolates, depending on how loudly I’ve proclaimed I’m on a diet. Still, calorie counting or not, there’s always a fabulous meal: lobster or filet with cognac peppercorn sauce. Or Lobster AND filet with cognac peppercorn sauce…. One of the best touches is that he also gives our daughter flowers-a bouquet of pink carnations. There’s something extra romantic in him not only being a great husband, but also being such a wonderful father.

Kristan: My first Valentine’s Day out of college, I was alone in a new city, worked for poverty wages and didn’t have too many friends. Boo hoo! Valentine’s Day with a guy? As probable as running into a Saudi prince at the pizza place on the corner. Imagine my surprise when a beautiful bouquet of flowers was delivered to work! “From your secret admirer,” the card said. I called my dad and thanked him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but I could tell he was smiling. He died that same year. I think of him every day, but I always smile on Valentine’s Day, remembering how dear old Dad made sure I got flowers from someone who loved me a whole heck of a lot.

Kathy: One of my favorite Valentine’s days was when my kids were about 8 and 13 and they got totally into the holiday picking out stuffed animals and chocolates for each other and my husband and I.  They even made Valentine’s for us from our dog.  It was such a fun time for us all.

Mia: This Valentine date was the first time I’d gone out with this red-headed guy I knew from church and it promised to be a lovely one. He took me to a dance at the Surf Ballroom, a place that epitomized romance in my little corner of the upper midwest. And I did enjoy the evening of dancing, but then he ran out of gas (Does anybody ever really do that?) on the way home (which was about 20 miles away). He had to hike back into town for a can of gas while I froze my tootsies in the cold car (February in Northern Iowa is no joke!) To make matters worse, we were cutting things close on my curfew. I’m a railroader’s daughter. At my house, not being on time was regarded as only slightly less heinous than becoming pregnant out of wedlock! I knew I was going to catch it when I got home.

However, my date was not in a hurry to let me out of the car once we got in my driveway. I managed to pull out of his grasp, but he tailed me to the pool of yellow light at my back door and forced a kiss on me. It was our first date and I really didn’t want to kiss him. I wanted to get inside so I could explain to my folks that it was not my fault I was seriously late. I finally told the guy I didn’t think things were going to work out between us and made a break for it. Then he stalked me for the next six months and made creepy phone calls.  So the moral of the story is…beware of red headed men!

Cindy: Worst Valentine’s Day? Most memorable Valentine’s Day? I racked my brains but couldn’t come up with anything. My husband and I have been together since high school. We’re the kind of couple who goes out the weekend before the big day, so we don’t have to fight the crowds. We buy the boxes of heart-shaped Valentine’s Day candy after the big day (when it hits 75% off  )because it’s a better deal. I’d call us practical. You might call us boring. But we’ve been together a
long time and hey, it works for us!

Robyn: Valentine’s Day is one of those I’ve had a love/hate relationship with. As a little girl, I loved it because my Daddy would give me sweet cards and my own (small) heart-shaped box of chocolates. I loved that. But with a series of disappointments through high school and college, I pretty much ignored the holiday for a few years. Then I met The Professor. Our first Valentine’s Day together was actually a month before we got married. I was trying to eat healthily so that I could fit into my wedding dress so he went to a gourmet chocolate shop here and bought me sugar-free candies. I thought that was so sweet and thoughtful. Every year he brings me a sweet card (that I know he spend so much time trying to find the perfect one) and roses. I know that might seem too traditional and not creative, but I love it!

Margo: The absolute best Valentine’s Day gift was from my mom. Our kids were about 2, 4 and 6, and Mom called and said she would take the kids overnight if we wanted to make reservations somewhere. Omg, it was hard to know what to do! Stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet? Go to a Red Wings hockey game, drink some beer and go home? (not)  When it came down to it, we went to a play, had a late, romantic dinner, and then stayed the night at the Ritz Hotel. In those days when it was non-stop kid stuff, that night out was absolutely heaven!

Do you have a Valentine’s Day memory that stands out? Tell us, and we’ll pick three random participants who will each receive a copy of one of our books. Come on – what was your most memorable (good or bad) Valentine’s Day?

Alyssa Alexander, Shanah, and catslady are the winners of an advanced copy of Sizzle. Please send me your address at Kathy @katherinegarbera.com.

Thanks to everyone for participating.

Writing a book is like going on a trip. I’m sure you’ve heard that before if you’ve ever talked to a writer. And some writers have a GPS and a back-up map and their car is fully serviced and they have snacks and water before they leave on their trip…I’m not that kind of writer.

I’m the writer who wants to go somewhere exciting and packs a bag and then figures the rest out on the way. And my latest book is a bit like that. Its about two people who won’t back down and both are determined to win. Something that you may not know about me is that I’m incredibly stubborn. I’m nice about it so you might not realize that I’m always going to try to get my way, but there it is.

Staci Rowland is like this as well. She’s will back down for a little while and then regroup and come at the same situation again and again until she gets the resolution she wants. She is determined to win Premier Chef (a fictional reality TV cooking show). I’m tempted to digress right now and start talking about my love of Master Chef, but I won’t.

The other thing that was key to me with Staci is that I wanted her to have been tested by life and had her dreams shaken to the core. But I also know that I want her to still have hope and still believe in them.

Remy Cruzel is sexy as hell with his Cajun accent and bad-boy good looks and he knows it. He is used to being in the spotlight and being praised but he’s gotten old enough to recognize that some of those kudos could be because of his family name. Now he’s trying to prove to himself that he’s worthy of all that he’s achieved.

Of course he’s lying about who he is so when Staci falls into his arms and he feels an immediate zing (its a Blaze!) he realizes he’s in trouble. This is one writing rule that I’ve always followed…they come into each other’s lives at the worst possible moment!

But that is the part that my writing-brain really likes.  If the situation seems impossible my old stubborn side comes into play and has to keep at it until I can figure out a way to make it work.

What about you?  Are you stubborn?  Do you live with someone who is stubborn?  How do you get things the way you want them?

I have an autographed copy of Sizzle for three lucky blog commenters today!

My friend Mimi sent this to me  and I didn’t laugh as she may have intended me to, but instead printed this out and put it on my wall of heroes.  Its kind of a good rule for life too.  But I have to be honest and say when I’m creating heroes I’m looking for men who have this at their core.  And if they are doing one of these things then that guy has a long journey to make himself into a hero.

So the picture says:

Rick Astley’s never going to:

A. Give you Up
B. Let You Down
C. Run Around and  Desert You
D. Make You Cry
E. Say Goodbye
F.Tell a Lie and Hurt You

Sorry to Rick-roll the blog. I’m not really I love this song and have to admit to having purchased it on cassette tape (back in the day!), CD and on iTunes.

What’s the one thing that a guy should never do?

I have a copy of my upcoming Blaze release Sizzle for one lucky commenter today.  I hate to admit it but Remy is doing one of the things that Rick said he’d never do…Tell a lie and hurt you.  But he makes up for it in the end!

Nancy Robards Thompson, Mimi Wells and moi!

I really love picking out gifts at Christmas and taking my time to find something that the recipient will really love. For me there is nothing better than spending hours at the mall (in the US) or walking along the High Street (In the UK) and searching for that perfect present.

Sometimes I find a gift that I know will be perfect for a friend or family member and desperately want one for myself as well. And to be honest, I have actually bought two of certain items so I could keep one.

This year I was the US for Christmas (yay!) and got to have lunch with my two besties. These women are sisters of the soul for me. And the meal was four hours long and still seemed too short but we all know each other very well and Nancy and I had a good laugh when we opened our gifts and saw we’d bought each other the exact same book.

Nancy and I and our Paris Fashion Book!

Has anything like that ever happened to you? Do you like shopping for presents or think a gift card is fine?

I’m giving away a copy of One More Kiss my current release from Harlequin Blaze which features two really good friends Staci and Alysse.