When I was in the second grade, I was in the slow reading group. There were three of us: a non-native speaker of English (i.e. he spoke only Spanish), a girl who was retarded (this was back in the seventies when people used that term), and me. I mean I was really slow. The teacher told my mother I would probably never read on level and that I just wasn’t very bright. My mother refused to believe that. She bought text books from the school (this was long before the days of Teacher Haven and we were not well off, those books were a huge burden on the budget). She worked with my everyday after school until I was caught up. In the fifth grade we moved to a new school district and I was behind … again. By their standards, I wasn’t “reading on level” until late in my eighth grade year. My mother made a lot of mistakes raising me (don’t all parents?), but the one thing she did right was that she fought for me. She refused to believe I “wasn’t very bright.” She simply didn’t believe that I couldn’t read.

I think about that slice of my personal history a lot. It’s ironic, right? The fact that the girl in the slow reading group would grow up to be a writer? I’ve wondered if all those extra hours spent reading with my mother are what made me into a reader today.

Books have given me so much in life, it’s hard to image what my life would be without them. I met my first boyfriend at a bookstore. My best friend all through high school? I met her at that same store. My two best friends in college–no, three best friends–all people I bonded with over books. And that’s all before I decided to make writing my professions. That’s not counting the endless joy of reading, the travel to places I could never go in real life, the elation and heart break I’ve experienced. Books–reading, writing–have given me the best friends I’ve had in my life. And I count those friends I’ve made here at Jaunty Quills among those “best friends.” I have loved being a part of the Jaunty Quills. I’ve loved being a part of this amazing community.

However, it’s time for me to step aside and let new Quills come foreword to lead the way. But don’t worry. I’ll stop by from time to time and I’ll wrangle invitations to guest blog when I can. I love you guys. This has been my home on line for so long, I don’t even remember when joined.  I’m tempted to tell you not to have too much fun without me … but who am I kidding? You guys always have fun!

Okay, let me lay the ground work here. My guy–The Geek–works with robots for a living. (The probably surprises no one since his nickname is The Geek.) In particular, he works with First Robotics, which is an organization whose goal is to turn robots (ie. science and technology) into a spectator sport for high school students to participate in.

This past week, the kids and I went with The Geek to the First Robotics World Championship. Picture 10,000 high school students screaming their enthusiasm. For science and engineering. It’s pretty freakin’ cool. I always get excited when I see teens excited about their learning.

But here’s the other thing that’s cool about going to events like this. My hubby is kind of a rock star there. When I introduce myself to strangers at these things and mention his name, people’s eyes light up. “Oh. Wow! Yeah, I know him from …” It’s very cool to see how valued he  is within that community. It’s doubly awesome because it’s a cause I believe in. He’s doing great things for the world and it makes me so proud! (And these kids! Wow, are they impressive! If you’re not familiar with First, you should totally look it up.)

When the kids and I go to these events, it’s mostly just to be supportive of The Geek. Sometimes, whole days go by when don’t even see him. Sometimes we’ll catch a meal or two with him. And I love that the kids get to see their daddy shine.

Despite all the wonderful things about going to things like this, there is a weird side effect. I end up feeling a bit invisible.Like I’m drowning in my role as mommy. This past week, I was wife and mother (and even daughter and granddaughter, ’cause I visited my grandmother first), but I wasn’t a writer at all. The huge thing that’s normally a huge part of who I am, got caught in the undertow and disappeared completely. This week, I was barely a writer at all. It’s weird for me. I came home feeling exhausted and bit unbalanced.

The good news is, next week, I’m heading out to Romantic Time’s Booklover’s Convention. I’ll get to be the writer 100% of the time. That too will be exhausting, but in a different way. But for now, I’m still drowning in mommy.

How do you find balance when you travel?

I’ve been wrestling with insomnia lately. But lately, I mean for the past two or three weeks. I’m not sure what’s up, really. I was exhausted after I finished The Lair back in February and I slept a lot. So maybe I just got all caught up and was even able to file some sleep away in the bank, so to speak. Or maybe my body chemistry is starting to change (I am getting close to that age), Or maybe I just have so freakin’ much on my plate that … well, that I’m stressed out.

Now, insomnia is nothing new for me. I’ve had trouble falling asleep for as long as I can remember. Literally. My first, youngest memory, is of being in my crib unable to fall asleep. Over the years, I’ve developed a trick or two to help me get past it. I do deep breathing exercises and bio-feedback mostly, but lately even that isn’t working as well as it used to. Oddly, in the summer months, insomnia doesn’t bother me. I just get out of bed, grab my lap top and go work in the other room. But in the winter? When it’s so damn cold in the house? No way I’m getting out of bed unless I have to. So I have to weigh my options. Am I more miserable awake in bed than I would be out in the cold of my office? (For the record, I’m a horrible wimp when it comes to the cold. So when I say “the cold of my office” I’m talking about 66 or so degrees. It’s not like I’m risking frost bite here.) Thankfully, spring is here. My house is warming up, so from now on, I can just get up, slink into the other room and put some words on the page. I think, in the end, I mind loosing sleep nearly as much as I mind missing the chance to get things done.

What about you? Do you ever have insomnia? Do you have any tips to get back to sleep?

I just finished a book about a week and half ago. It was a long haul.

I mean, sure, I’m a writer. I’ve finished lots of books. (Twenty something now.) So finishing a book shouldn’t be that big a deal. But some books are harder to write than others and this book (the sequel to the Farm) was a bit of bear to write–for several reasons, none of which I’ll bore you with. The end result is that I’ve been writing my little fingers to the bones for the past couple of months.

Once I was done (for now–there will still be revisions and editing and tons more work), I felt like a deserved a much needed break. A chance to kick back and relax for at least a couple of weeks. Here’s how I decided to reward myself:

• Read a good book. Or Six. – Technically, this is still work. I had books to judge for the Ritas, so I had a nice stockpile of books that I really did have to read. I finished those up just tonight. And while it’s still been work, it was loads of fun. I still have a few more books I want to read before I dive back in. I had downloaded a sample chapter of Under the Never Sky a couple of months ago and I can’t wait to get back to it. Plus, I have a book to write a cover quote for. So I’ll be reading that one too. (And I’m super excited about that because it’s going to ah-mazing!)
• Shopping – I needed a new purse. Somewhat desperately, actually. And, this is the first time since kids that I’ve bought a really nice purse. It’s leather and everything. And it doesn’t have pockets for carrying sippy cups. I feel so grown up.
• Getting a pedicure – okay, I haven’t actually done this yet. But I’m gonna. Soon.
• Exercise – you know, that strange thing where you move your body around. Yeah. I did some of that. I actually didn’t gain weight this deadline, despite massive cookie eating. So I can only assume I lost muscle mass during my months hunched over the keyboard. Boy, today, when I was doing burpies, I sure felt it. I thought I was going to have some sort of a asthma incident. And no, I don’t have asthma. Just saying that I could imagine…
• Bake! – my love of cooking and baking is well known. So naturally, I’ve been puttering around the kitchen to my heart’s content. Plus, my neighbor just had a hip replacement surgery, so I’m bringing food over to her. And it’s nice to cook for someone new, you know? My family’s familiar with my schtick. New people are easily impressed and appreciative!
• Clean  – shocking, I know. But my car looks like a transient lives in it and my office is worse. Like … there are just no words, worse. So, I’m starting with the closet in my office and working my way out. Progress is slow, but … baby steps, right? Next up is the pantry. Those ten year old spices are going down!

How do you reward yourself when you’ve been working hard? Since I’m suddenly painfully aware of how many spare books I have, I’ll send a copy of my latest two Desires to one lucky commenter.

I’m not going to lie. I’m a foodie.

I’m not obnoxious about it. (At least, I don’t think I am.) But I like to cook and I like to eat good food. I love baking to the point that it’s almost a psychologically diagnosable disorder. I get Cook’s Illustrated magazine (which, The Geek likes to point out, never has any illustrations of actual cooks) and I have a collection of cookbooks that’s almost embarrassing.

Despite my love of cooking, I still struggle with meal planning. I do almost all the cooking in my family. Between family dinners, weekend breakfasts and kid lunches and snacks, I’m responsible for seventeen to twenty meals a week. Sometimes I just want to yell, “Why can’t you people eat less often???”

Plus, planning’s not my strong suit. But I’m trying to get better. I’ve been doing the weekly meal planning thing for a couple of years now. I try to keep it (sort of) simple on week nights. Only cooking things I’ve already made before or using recipes that look easy. But sometimes, I miss the mark.

Last night, for example, I’d picked out a recipe from one of  Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute cook books. Something vegetarian with spinach and mushrooms and pasta. Looked easy enough. Ninety minutes later, my kids are crazy and starving, the kitchen is trashed. My husband looked at me hungrily. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I glared at the pile of mushrooms I’d spent a full thirty minutes scrubbing. “That Rachel Ray is a lying b**ch.”

Worse still was the fact that the meal was only so so. I mean, it was fine. It just wasn’t 90 minutes good.

I honestly don’t mind spending ninety minutes cooking. Some people scrapbook or craft. I cook. It’s all good. I just like knowing what I’m getting into. I’ll gladly invest ninety minutes in a recipe from Cook’s Illustrated, because their recipes are also amazing. Or something from the Smitten Kitchen blog, because again, her recipes totally rock it! (If you aren’t familiar with the Smitten Kitchen, here’s my favorite recipe of hers: Pancetta White Bean Pot Pies. Yes, they take a while, but holy crap they are so good you’ll want to climb in the bowl and roll around.

So tell me, do you love to cook? If so what’s your favorite cookbook/cooking blog? If you don’t like to cook, what is your hobby? I’ll send a copy of one of my books to one person who comments.

Today I get to host one of my very friends, Tracy!

Tracy and I met through our local writer’s group and we’ve worked together on The International Kissing Club, writing as Ivy Adams. She’s a very close friend and my make-up guru. I asked her to join us today for a fun Q&A.

1. Tracy, you write so many different subgenres. I know you pretty well and I’m not even sure what all you write. Give us a quick run down of what you write and under what names.

Snort, you know me pretty well, huh, Emily?  I think once you write a book with a person, you get to know them EXCEPTIONALLY well   As for what I write—here’s the current list:

As Tessa Adams: Urban Fantasy and Hot Paranormal Romance

As Tracy Wolff: Contemporary Romance and Erotic Romance/Erotic Suspense

As Tracy Deebs: YA Paranormal Romance, YA Sci-Fi Romance, New Adult Romance

As Ivy Adams: … I think you’ve got this one covered, right?  This is the pen name, you, Shellee Roberts and I share for the Contemporary YA Romacne that we write together.

2. With so many different genres, is there anything all your books have in common?

Actually, I think there are a lot of things my books have in common, to be honest.  Most  writers have certain themes that appeal to them and those themes show up again and again throughout their writing during their career, and I’m certainly no different.   My stuff usually centers around control (of themselves, their lives, or the situation) at some level—my H/h losing it, my H/h desperate to hold onto it/ someone trying to take it from them … depending on the genre.

My heroes also tend to fall along the same line.  I love the bad boy hero—to the point that we joke about it being a little pathological.  But I’m an American Lit Professor and my favorite topic to discuss with my students is the Gothic Villain Hero (Batman, Anakin Skywalker, Professor Snape, Rochester, Q, Angel … you know the type J)  So nearly all of my books have this kind of hero.  I can only think of a couple (About the Baby, Tease Me) that don’t.

And then, probably, writing style.  I tend to be a pretty dark writer and most of my books—from Harlequin Superromance to Urban Fantasy to YA reflect this in one way or another.

3. Now, you work as a lit professor also. And you’ve got three boys. In addition to being a very productive writer. Do you have any time management tips for the rest of us.

Not really.  I try to limit myself to time on the Internet, obviously, while I’m working—sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Other than that, I’m not a big sleeper—most nights I get about four and a half hours,  But I can’t really suggest that people go without sleep, can I?   So sorry, I think it’s all about finding the rhythm that works for you and going with it …

4. Now you do work time into your schedule to watch TV (particularly with your boys). What shows do you love and why?

Actually, this is fairly new for me—and completely your fault.  For years I was the one who didn’t know any shows people were talking about because I never took time to watch TV.  But then you handed me that Veronica Mars DVD last year …  Well, that and I finally broke down and got Netflix so I can watch what I want when I want (yes, I know, TIVO, but I always forget to record anything).

So when I started watching one episode of Veronica Mars a night, my oldest son (who just turned sixteen) started watching it with me and it kind of became our bonding time.  So every night after I get the younger two to bed, kidlet #1 and I watch at least one episode of some show together.  So far we’ve done Veronica Mars, Friday Night Lights, Firefly, and we’re currently on the first episode of season two of Sons of Anarchy—which was so brutal that I ended up sending him out of the room for it and watching through my fingers).  I like it because the shows (particularly Veronica Mars and Friday Night Lights, which are teen shows) gave us jumping off points to talk about a lot of different, difficult subjects that we’d only ever touched on before but that I think are important to discuss with my kids, especially teenagers who are just starting to drive, gain their independence, etc.  The cool thing is, he really looks forward to this time (and so do I) and if I have to skip it for work or whatever, it’s obvious that he’s really disappointed.  So I try to make time for it even when I’m on deadline or exhausted.

5. What is your newest release?

I actually have two new releases—they came out back to back in January and February.  My February release is Soulbound, a dark Urban Fantasy that follows Xandra Morgan, a latent witch just coming into her powers.  Unfortunately, those powers are dark—she sees dead people (not ghosts, but the actual dead bodies of people who have died violently) and is compelled to find them.  So it’s a romantic suspense/paranormal romance/urban fantasy set in my home town of Austin, Texas.

My second release is Doomed, my new sci-fi Cyberarmageddon YA.  It’s a modern day retelling of the Pandora myth, where she opens an attachment instead of a box and hearkens technological Armageddon.  There’s a real life scavenger hunt in it, a manhunt from Homeland Security, a romance, a countdown to nuclear annihilation and a Massive, Multi-player online game … It’s the hardest book I’ve ever written and one that I am exceptionally proud of.

Thanks so much for having me.  I’d love to do a giveaway of Soulbound and Doomed, so leave a comment for a chance to win!

I’m writing this from the observation bench at my kids’ swim lessons. We’ve been going once a week since September and they’re making good progress. This is important to me, partly because The Geek and I like to scuba dive and so we vacation a lot near water. But also because I’ve watched the previews to a movie that’s out now called The Impossible. Have you seen the preview for this? If not, I’ve included it below so you can take a look. Be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart.

The Impossible trailer

If you didn’t want to watch the preview and haven’t heard of the movie, here’s the run down: It’s the true story of a Spanish family who happened to be vacationing in Thailand during the tsunami in 2004.

Now, I’m pretty much a movie trailer junky. It’s my favorite procrastination technique. I almost never make it to the actual movies, so trailers are a way to get my movies fix in five minute chunks. If it’s up on iTunes and it’s not obviously a horror movie, I’ve probably watched the preview for it.

Cut to last fall when I’m at the computer, innocently procrastinating on iTunes. I load up the trailer for The Impossible. (***however many***) minutes later, I was a shuddering mess of nerves curled into a fetal position. That preview freaked. Me. Out.

We vacation in places just like that. Pretty much every vacation. Right after the preview ended I texted The Geek and told him we were giving up diving for skiing and we were never going to the beach again. He’s used to my particular brand of crazy, so he ignored me. Plus, he knows me too well. I don’t like the cold, I’m not coordinated and I’m not an adrenaline junkie. Skiing just ain’t my thing. I’m stuck with diving I’m afraid. I had my kids signed up for swim lessons within an hour of navigating my browser away from iTunes.

Today, as we were heading out to swim lessons, my sister called. “I went to go see The Impossible yesterday,” she said.

“How was it?” I asked.

“I think my kids need more swim lessons.” (Her kids are 15 and strong swimmers.) “Plus, they don’t know anyone’s phone numbers. I’m making them flash cards right now with your number and mom and dad’s number too. Just in case.”

I think it must just be that kind of movie. The kind that makes you imagine the worst things that could happen. For the record, my sister also said it was great movie. That she would recommend it to anyone. And that she’s never going to see it again. Yeah, I get that.

I know it’s not a movie I can’t watch. I just don’t think I could take it. (But I reserve the right to change my mind at some point in the distant future.) I think it’s so crucial to know what your tolerance is. To know where your threshold is. Me? I can’t do super sad. I can barely do a little sad. I started sobbing in The Sound of Music when I watched it with the kids the other day. I’m the person who can’t watch those SPCA commercials about kill-shelters. I once cried during a documentary about the digging of the Chunnel. Seriously. My sorrow threshold is extremely low.

So what’s your sorrow threshold? Can you watch a movie like The Impossible or are you a Hallmark commercial crier?

I know you guys are probably tired of blogs about all the stuff we love about a certain time of year. That’s what the holidays are for, right?

But bear with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love the holidays. I mean, I love the holidays. My house looks like the setting for an elf themed TV special. My kitchen smells like gingerbread and love. It’s like holiday heroin over here. Totally addictive and dialed up to level 11.

And that is why I also love January. By the time the new year rolls around, I’m ready for the decorations to go away and my life to return to normal. So here’s my short list of things I lurve about January:

• the visual clutter of the holidays goes back to the garage!
• the kids go back to school!
• I can make soup! (I live in Texas. The soup-making months are few.)
• the pressure of finding, buying, and wrapping gifts is off! (except for all the gifts I ordered from Etsy, which ended up being from Australian and are still en route to my house. Those, I still need to wrap and mail.) And, finally, my favorite reason why I love January:
•  Magazines focusing on home organization and weight loss! (I don’t actually buy all those magazine. Or read them. Or exercise or lose weight. But I love that every January the publishers put them out. It reminds me that I am not alone in my struggles. These are things we all worry about. It makes me feel good just knowing that I’m not alone.

So what do you love about January?

This past weekend, we took the kids to see Rise of the Guardians. It’s fun movie. Not really a Christmas movie, more of a mash up for holiday characters–Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Sandman and the Toothfairy–all working together as the guardians of childhood innocence. The story involves them recruiting a new guardian–Jack Frost. His main issue in the movie is that most kids don’t believe in Jack Frost or even know who he is anymore, so no one can see him. In fact, it’s been several hundred years since anyone saw him and he’s pretty damn lonely. “No one cares about Jack Frost!” was one of the lines earlier on in the movie.

I nearly jumped out of my seat yelling and waving, “I do! I love Jack Frost!”

See I remember Jack Frost from the 1979 TV special. Anyone else remember it? It was sort of a reverse little mermaid story. In it,  a lovely young woman in a village in Russia makes the comment one crisp fall day that she loves Jack Frost. He takes her at her word and becomes human so he can be with her, only to find out she really loves her childhood sweetheart. In the end, he helps the childhood sweetheart win the girl and he goes back to being the impish Jack Frost. It is charming and romantic, and more than a little sad. I was always heart broken when she picked her human love over Jack. I felt like if she had known, really understood what he’d given up to be with her, she would have had the good sense to love him.

I realize now that Jack was my first crush. One of the first boys I fell in love with. (Along with Peter from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. And then later Prince Caspian.)

It’s funny how those early crushes affect the kinds of characters we love later on. I like my heroes to be charming swashbucklers. But all the light and humor hides an inner darkness. A loss. A fear that he will always be an outsider, as well as a desire to protect the women he loves, no matter what the cost.

So who was your first childhood crush?