Jesse Hayworth
Jesse Hayworth


Jesse Hayworth


No, autocorrect, I didn’t mean ‘stubby’ or ‘shabby.’ I really, really meant ‘stabby’! Because, you see, I ‘upgraded’ my computer this week, and the headaches I brought on myself made me want to shank my pretty new Mac Air–and the Microsoft Office for Mac developers–in very tender places.

Then again, it’s a well known fact that Jesse doesn’t do at all well when her machines don’t work as advertised. I don’t handle repeated car breakdowns gracefully, especially when I’ve already thrown money at the problem. I don’t like it when my appliances get gremlins. And I get really, really snarky when my computer misbehaves.

Like, really snarky. And if, when I’m in the throes, you say anything like ‘garbage in, garbage out,’ be ready to duck.

In fact, that’s why I went for a new computer in the first place. I love my old Mac Air–I know it’s foibles and how to get around them. Like how there’s a little glitch in Word 2011 for Mac that makes it eat spaces when I open a document that’s been translated from Korean (I freelance as a scientific editor, having been a geneticist in my previous life). Or how moving hyperlinked phrases to the beginning of a paragraph will now and then get me the Spinny Wheel of Death.

Okay, that one has put me over the top once or twice. But I learned to save. Lots. And my old Mac and I soldiered on, through five Mustang Ridge books and the beginnings of several other projects that may or may not see the light of day. I wore all the paint off a dozen keys. At various times, I typed so hard that other keys flew off and skidded under random furniture. I got good at replacing them. We had a relationship.

Recently, though, I’ve been seeing the signs. Overheating. Not charging. Random error messages. An operating system that’s no longer supported. Oh, why, must progress pass me by? But pass me by it did, to the point that the old machine just couldn’t keep up.

Enter the new Mac. And the horror that is Office for Mac 2016. Let’s just say that I’m apparently the fool for thinking that a word processor should do something fancy … like process words. (I know, I know. Silly me.) Maybe Word 2016 will work for some of you, but it really, really didn’t work for me. So back I went to my old boot disks (yes, my old copy of Office actually came on a CD), and put the old program on my new computer. And now to figure out the other issues, like why Facebook is showing me all ads and no friend news. Or why the internet is SLOOOOOOWWWWW. Or why …

Sigh. First world problems. But, still, stabby.

So, as I pick away at what my Australian editing boss calls the ‘irrits’ (ha, take that autocorrect!), please make me feel better. What little thing is guaranteed to make you want to pick up the nearest fork and take a couple of jabs?? Are you a toilet paper goes over/under person? A ‘the dirty dishes go on the left side of the sink, darn it’ person? (Or is that just me?) Discuss!

11 thoughts on “Little Things That Make You Stabby?

  1. Laney4 says:

    First of all, it’s possible that your old Word program isn’t compatible with the new Mac. I had that happen when I had to upgrade. Took me months to feel comfortable with my new Word program (and I work on Word every day!). Yeah, changing over to Windows 8.1 and Word 2013 were H*ll on Wheels when I had Windows XP and Word 2007 (as the newer features of Word didn’t improve some of the features I used daily, and it was much faster and easier to use the older version for searching in files, etc.).
    Second of all, let’s get you feeling better with the mundane! Toilet paper goes over, but I can “roll” with it the other way too, LOL! Dirty dishes go on whatever side of the sink works with the kitchen counter and sink. We have a garbage disposal in our singular (big) sink, but if I’d had a singular and a half sink like the contractor wanted, then the dirty dishes would have had to have been on the opposite side to the half sink so that dishes could be rinsed on their way to the dish rack. If I had two single sinks and no garbage disposal, with equal countertops on each side of the sinks for the dirty dishes, I prefer the rack on my right side (I am right handed), but honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me (but the toilet paper roll DOES, LOL!).
    Good luck! Keep telling yourself, “This too shall pass.” I’m sure we all will have even more problems with our technology after this, then THIS will seem like a blip in the road. (Whoops! I was supposed to cheer you up!)

  2. Shana Galen Shana Galen says:

    Oh, I hate any kind of technology change. Just when I figure something out, there has to be some kind of upgrade or update. Ain’t nobody got time for that. And the toilet paper goes over. Duh.

  3. Oh, God, a new Mac! I feel for you, Jess.

    Things that make me stabby: interruptions when I’m writing; when my husband or son doesn’t wipe up their crumbs (it’s a male thing, apparently); when McIrish doesn’t believe me when I tell him something is wrong. FOR EXAMPLE… The other day, the fan in our furnace broke. I relayed this information to Himself. “It’s just new,” he said. “It makes a different noise.”
    “It sounds broken to me,” say I.
    “It’s not,” says he.
    He comes back from work the next morning to say, “The fan is broken! I wonder how that happened.”

    I felt very stabby then, Jess. Very stabby indeed. Can I use this phrase, by the way? I love it terribly much.

  4. Jesse, tech problems make me stabby too. When I’m ready to work, I want my computer to help, not be a hindrance. If you’re running El Capitan, strange things can happen with MS Office. For me, Office 2011 and 2016 work fine. For my father, running El Capitan on a newer computer, 2011 wouldn’t work at all and he had to downgrade his OS. Talk about a time-suck.

  5. Kathleen Kathleen says:

    Jesse, I’m so with you on this. In fact, reading this post has made me rethink getting the new Mac OS…. even though the one I’m using is so old Chrome has warned me they’re going to leave me for dead.

  6. Quilt Lady says:

    Yep I know the feeling, my computer and internet have been giving my problems also and I am not sure why, blaming it on windows 10, windows 7 just made since to me the why it was laid out. My computer is not that old because I just built it last summer with sons help. I have just had issues with it since I up graded to windows 10. Yes and darn it dirty dished go on the left side of the sink if you can’t put them in the dish washer and believe me they can’t around here, toilet paper has to go over.

  7. catslady says:

    We just bought a new computer because mine is 10 yrs. old and the turn on button isn’t working well and of course it’s slow plus it’s XP which will no longer be supported. We dread the thought of a new program and getting our printer and keyboard connected etc. etc. etc.

  8. Hello all! Want some stabby? I have no electricity in the wake of yesterday’s weather. Sigh. Anyway, I wanted you to know that I’m here (briefly, from a Panera with a very sloow connection), and am loving your comments. Thank you all! Hugs, and gotta go get more fuel for the generator …

  9. Dawn A says:

    The only time I truly feel ‘stabby’ is when I have to repeat myself six times to get a result that could’ve been accomplished the first time. I think this goes back to working in a preschool, except now I talk to adults and I can’t use “well, they’re only 5” as an excuse.

  10. Kylie says:

    Oh, you have no idea how much I can relate to this post at the moment. I work for a small, independent newspaper and last weekend the powers that be replaced EVERY COMPUTER BAR ONE with brand new, identical PCs with identical updated programs – just as I started two weeks filling in for the main production staff member on holidays. The new PCs were all meant to have inbuilt SD card readers (but they didn’t – newspapers don’t need photos, do they?) and instead up just upgrading one version of the programs, we had skipped a version (jumping from Adobe CS4 to CS6) so there were so many unfamiliar things – then some of the programs weren’t correct – we had a pdf reader not a pdf creator. And they also replaced the main server, so all the network connections were altered – and the multifunction centre in the main office was offline until the rep came to hook it up again a couple of days later (but left without enabling the scan documents to PC function!). To top it all off, the boss will be away for the next two weeks and we are still finding glitches – and they will become my problem.
    To add to that, our senior journo is now on holidays for three weeks and the one who is replacing her is the most arrogant SOB you could imagine – and there are only two other journos in the building – one is good and the other has no idea. Workmates already joke about me “feeling stabby”!

    And, the toilet roll goes over and the dirty dishes go on the right-hand side of the sink.

  11. girlfromwva says:

    i feel stabby when my oldest and/or middle son don’t put their garbage in the can when the can is sitting right below where they place it on the counter in the kitchen. ugh!

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