No, autocorrect, I didn’t mean ‘stubby’ or ‘shabby.’ I really, really meant ‘stabby’! Because, you see, I ‘upgraded’ my computer this week, and the headaches I brought on myself made me want to shank my pretty new Mac Air–and the Microsoft Office for Mac developers–in very tender places.
Then again, it’s a well known fact that Jesse doesn’t do at all well when her machines don’t work as advertised. I don’t handle repeated car breakdowns gracefully, especially when I’ve already thrown money at the problem. I don’t like it when my appliances get gremlins. And I get really, really snarky when my computer misbehaves.
Like, really snarky. And if, when I’m in the throes, you say anything like ‘garbage in, garbage out,’ be ready to duck.
In fact, that’s why I went for a new computer in the first place. I love my old Mac Air–I know it’s foibles and how to get around them. Like how there’s a little glitch in Word 2011 for Mac that makes it eat spaces when I open a document that’s been translated from Korean (I freelance as a scientific editor, having been a geneticist in my previous life). Or how moving hyperlinked phrases to the beginning of a paragraph will now and then get me the Spinny Wheel of Death.
Okay, that one has put me over the top once or twice. But I learned to save. Lots. And my old Mac and I soldiered on, through five Mustang Ridge books and the beginnings of several other projects that may or may not see the light of day. I wore all the paint off a dozen keys. At various times, I typed so hard that other keys flew off and skidded under random furniture. I got good at replacing them. We had a relationship.
Recently, though, I’ve been seeing the signs. Overheating. Not charging. Random error messages. An operating system that’s no longer supported. Oh, why, must progress pass me by? But pass me by it did, to the point that the old machine just couldn’t keep up.
Enter the new Mac. And the horror that is Office for Mac 2016. Let’s just say that I’m apparently the fool for thinking that a word processor should do something fancy … like process words. (I know, I know. Silly me.) Maybe Word 2016 will work for some of you, but it really, really didn’t work for me. So back I went to my old boot disks (yes, my old copy of Office actually came on a CD), and put the old program on my new computer. And now to figure out the other issues, like why Facebook is showing me all ads and no friend news. Or why the internet is SLOOOOOOWWWWW. Or why …
Sigh. First world problems. But, still, stabby.
So, as I pick away at what my Australian editing boss calls the ‘irrits’ (ha, take that autocorrect!), please make me feel better. What little thing is guaranteed to make you want to pick up the nearest fork and take a couple of jabs?? Are you a toilet paper goes over/under person? A ‘the dirty dishes go on the left side of the sink, darn it’ person? (Or is that just me?) Discuss!