Lately I have been plagued by awkward situations. Maybe it’s because I have a young child who is now at the age that she notices and comments on everything. If only I could blame them all on her. I’m not the only one who suffers these endless moments where I wish a hole would swallow me up, am I?
Baby Galen has decided to walk out of preschool with her latest BFF and her BFF’s mother, who I don’t very well. What I do know of her, I don’t like. I don’t particularly like Baby Galen’s sassy, whiny new BFF very much either, but it’s just a short walk to the car. What can happen? I’ll tell you what can happen. Before I can even think of some inane small talk to exchange with sassy, whiny BFF’s mom, the girls have already cooked up a play date! The next thing I know, Baby Galen is saying, “Can my new friend come to my house and play?” I want to say no, but I’m totally in a rough spot, so I say, sure. “Maybe her mommy can drop her off some day.” And instead of playing along, the other mom says, “No, I don’t think so.” Sheesh! She could have at least waited until we were near the cars before saying that. It seemed like ten miles to the parking lot as we walked in silence and the girls boo-hooed.
I’m out at dinner with a friend of mine and a mutual friend of ours is throwing a party the next week. So I ask, “what are you wearing to the party?” She says, “What party?” And I still don’t get it, so I say, “Abigail’s [names changed to protect the guilty] party.” You already know what she said, right? She wasn’t invited. Oh, why haven’t I learned to keep my mouth shut?
This one is not my fault, but it’s one of those instances when you want to pretend you don’t know your child. Every Sunday at church there’s a children’s sermon, given by the youth leader that Baby Galen sees on a regular basis at her preschool. She’s comfortable with her and not at all too shy to speak up during the lesson and share her thoughts. In front of the whole church. So recently Miss Julie said something that made Baby Galen think about bugs. Unfortunately, we had a cockroach in our house a day or two before, and we’d had to kill it. We live in Houston. We get the occasional roach in the house. But as soon as bugs were mentioned, I knew what was coming. “Miss Julie!” a little voice boomed through the fellowship hall. “We had a roach in our house, and mommy said eek and daddy stomped it and sent it to live with Jesus.” Oh, just send me to Jesus now too. Because everyone knows she’s our child, and they’re all laughing and looking at us, and Ultimate Sportsfan and I were sinking in our seats. “We called the exterminator,” I whispered to our neighbors. “We don’t usually have roaches!” But I’m sure everyone is envisioning an episode of Hoarders now.
I shared, and now it’s your turn. Tell us your embarrassing moments. I have a copy of Reality TV Bites, one of my backlist contemporary books full of embarrassing moments to give away.