Lately, the Norwegian and I have made several day trips out of town to handle family business. In the past, we’ve used our GPS, which we lovingly call “Emily,” because that’s what the company named the particular voice setting we use. Well, it turns out that Emily is a much better navigator than I am. Never mind it’s her job and she has most routes plotted out and stored in her electronic mind. How in the world could anyone else compete? Usually, I don’t. Because I am a terrible navigator.
However, on this trip we forgot Emily. Yes, went off without her. And we suffered for it because we were left to our own devices. Actually, the Norwegian wasn’t too concerned because he has a “map ap” on his smart phone. The words map ap should’ve been my first clue that we were in trouble.
We knew how to get to the outskirts of where we were going; then we decided to use his handy-dandy map ap to guide us to the specific addresses we needed to find. Sounds simple, right?
The scene went something like this:
Norwegian (driving, hands me his cell phone): Just type in the address and follow the blinking dot. That purple line leads us to the address. Just make sure the blinking dot stays on the purple line.
Me: Blinking dot? I want a list of streets, not a blinking dot.
Norwegian: No, you want the blinking dot because it will tell you where to turn before we get there.
Mind you, the display area is a 3.5 x 2 inch cell phone screen. I’m blind without my reading glasses and get a little woozy if I try to get up and walk around with them on, much less try to read something tiny in a moving car… because, of course, the Norwegian, bless his stubborn heart, would rather get lost than pull over and give me time to familiarize myself with his darned blinking dot map ap.
Still, I tried to be a good copilot and make it work. Despite how the blinking dot, which represented our car, seemed to be moving in a different direction than we were traveling. I turned the phone every which way trying to get the dot to move in the same direction. Soon, I thought I was getting the hang of it. Until the Norwegian asked me the name of the street BEFORE we were supposed to make our turn.
Me: I can’t read it. The print is too small.
Norwegian: Just do this (indicating that I should use my fingers to enlarge the screen).
I did this… and the blinking dot went off the screen. Panicking, I jabbed at the page trying to minimize it so the blinking dot would come back into frame, but a different page popped up – some sort of advertisement. Of course. I couldn’t figure out how to make the darn thing go away.
Me: Are you kidding me? Just tell me how to get to the darn page that lists the directions. If I’m going to navigate I have to use a system I can understand – unless you want to pull over and show me how to work this thing.
Norwegian (who kept driving on): How can you be so good at backseat driving, but so bad at navigating?
As I made a conscious decision to bite my tongue, I realized why our daughter says that when the Norwegian and I are in the car she sometimes feels as though she’s stuck in a Seinfeld scene featuring George Costanza’s parents. Poor girl.
How about you? Are you a better pilot or copilot? Do you have any funny road trip stories to share?
RT Book Club gives CELEBRATION’S BRIDE 4.5 stars! They say, “…Her couples’ imperfections make them realistic and alluring and their love scenes are provocative and passionate.” CELEBRATION’S BRIDE, book four in the Celebrations, Inc. series, will hit the shelves in July.