Kristan Higgins
Kristan Higgins


Jaunty Post

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There’s a show on TV called Bridezillas (don’t judge me, I’m only human). Granted, I watch my share of trash TV—America’s Next Top Model, the occasional Real Housewives—but I do draw the line at Honey Boo-Boo and, um…okay, not much else. I love all the wedding-based shows—Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings and all that. I pretend it’s for research, as most romance novels feature a wedding or two, but it’s not. It’s just because I love weddings.

Bridezillas especially fascinates me because it’s about Such! Mean! People! Oh, they’re thrilling! The fact that these women are getting married at all is kind of a miracle. “I don’t care about your problems! How can you do this to me!” one bride shrieked in rage when her sister asked for help looking for her toddler. Yes. The kid was fine, by the way, except that his aunt is a raging maniac.

Another bride pitched a fit because at her rehearsal dinner, her guests had the audacity to sing “Happy Birthday” to her soon-to-be father-in-law. She took a fistful of cake and threw it on the ground. Shockingly, she and her husband divorced not too long after the wedding. : )

So I watch Bridezillas. I cheerfully munch popcorn, happily shocked as mean girls disrespect their families, terminate friendships and get married to men who seem pretty nice, in most cases.

I love weddings. As a guest, there are only a few criteria: a bride and groom who seem truly to love each other; good food; and fun music so I can show my moves on the dance floor (unless I’m asked not to, in which case I knock over the cake table and storm off—Guestzilla).

Honestly, I haven’t been to a really bad wedding yet. But here’s hoping.

Tell me about the best wedding you ever went to…or the worst (I’ll probably use it in a book sometime). Do you love weddings, or dread them?

30 thoughts on “Brides Behaving Badly

  1. I love weddings. I have never been to a bad one. My favorite memory is my cousin Patty Ann’s reception where the women lined up on one side and the men on the other and we sang and danced to Dashboard Lights…is that the title of the Meatloaf song? I stink at remembering titles. It was so much fun.

  2. Sandi in OH says:

    We went to a wedding many years ago. The bride and her party in back of the church smoking. At the reception the bride and groom entered the room and headed in different directions for most of the event. Three weeks later, he came home from work and found her in bed with another guy. That was the end of the marriage. Didn’t surprise us.

  3. Karen says:

    My Sister-in-Law got married on Olivera Street (iconic LA spot). She arrived to and from the Catholic Church on the back of a Harley. They were followed by 20-30 friends on bikes as well. The bride wore a white dress, heels, and a veil. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen, heard, or smelt before (due to the exhaust). It was very unique and 100% representative of them as a couple.

  4. Deb says:

    I love weddings and their receptions. I think the most beautiful reception I’ve been to was a few years back that took place the first weekend of January. It was simple, but gorgeous. The bride decorated with white netting and gold ribbone and white swag lights, several tall evergreen trees with light lights, and glass bowls on the tables filled with gold ball ornaments. She also had cookie and cake plates on the tables filled with fudge, mini muffins, petit fours, and mini chocolate cupcakes.

    I was at a wedding 2 summers ago that was almost embarrassing to sit through. The bride giggled through the entire (thankfully, short 15-minute) ceremony. She wasn’t tipsy, but immature.

    My wedding, I think, was pretty. It lasted a long time….about 45 minutes. But, that’s because I had a congressional hymn, 2 solos, and a 10-minute sermon. 🙂

  5. Pam B says:

    My own wedding was probably the most unique I ever saw. We got married in our backyard and the food was provided by aunts of my husband. He family is old farm folk and we had the best food. We actually uninterrupted a horseshoe game to cut the cake. Everyone remembers the fun and relaxed atmosphere we had.

  6. Gwen L says:

    Here’s a quirky story from my own wedding almost 27 years ago. My attendants made (or had made) their dresses. My sister showed up the morning of my 1 pm wedding with her dress and sewing machine. “It’s all done except the sleeves, zipper and hem,” she said. This was about 11 a.m.

    I looked at my mom and said, “I’m going to the church now.”

    Yes, my sister walked down the aisle with a dress fully intact.

    In her defense, I found out a month later that she and her husband split up 4 days before my wedding, but didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want to ruin the day. He disappeared with friends from the rehearsal dinner and they didn’t get back home the night before the wedding as early as she wanted to finish her dress. Oh, and she was corralling an 18-month-old, too.

  7. Gail C. says:

    I do love weddings. I never fail to tear up watching the happy couple promise their selves to each other. A couple of years ago I was at a wedding where the MOB started a fight with the bride; someone almost knocked over a speaker so the DJ (a cousin on the groom’s side) started fighting with another guest and on it went.
    The most romantic wedding I’ve ever been to was one with no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, just the happy couple. It was short, sweet, relaxing and the love between the two of them reached out to everyone of us watching, filling our hearts with joy.

  8. Melody May says:

    I haven’t been to a bad wedding yet. Weddings are are ok. I don’t mind going to them if I know the person well. The only wedding I really remember is the Dumb & Dumber theme wedding. The bride had her bridesmaids in orange dress and the groom had his groomsmen in baby blue tuxedoes. Yes, that is something you can never forget.

  9. Shana Shana says:

    The worst weddings? No food or only carrot sticks. I went to a Catholic wedding where the ceremony began at 6. Two hours and a full mass later, we went to the reception. I was starving. Do you know what they had to eat? Carrot sticks and tortilla chips! No. You cannot have a wedding during a meal time and not serve food.

  10. Jane L says:

    I love weddings. I always cry. OK. So, whenever I see someone cry (tears of sadness, tears of joy, doesn’t really matter) I feel obligated to join them. No one should shed tears alone – that I may not know them from Adam, means not a thing.

  11. Mia Marlowe says:

    I’m afraid I don’t share your enthusiasm for reality TV because invariably the worst behavior gets the most play and is encouraged. (Plus the producers of reality shows are stiffing real writers and equity actors in the process, but that’s another post!)

    But I will share the worst wedding I was ever part of. It was going so well. The handbells (which I was directing) had been glorious. The bridesmaids had tripped sedately down the aisle and when the last one reached her place, the organist paused to reset the stops for the different piece of music that was supposed to accompany the bride as she floated in to join her bridegroom. However, the pause must have been too long for the minister because he started the ceremony WITHOUT HER! There he was starting his spiel while the bride and her father stood outside the closed sanctuary doors waiting for the organ to blast her cue. I was dancing along a side alcove, waving my arms and trying to catch the minister’s eye mouthing “The bride! Wait for the bride!” Finally, the minister looked up from his book of service, realized he was missing something and said with exquisite understatement, “Oh, I guess we need the bride.”

    The organist, who’d gotten his stops arranged by then, stomped on the pipes for all he was worth and the doors to the sanctuary flew open. The bride looked like a thundercloud descending on the altar and no one could blame her. Fortunately for her groom, her ire was not directed at him!

  12. Lois B says:

    I haven’t been to any bad weddings, per se. However, one I went to this past summer, the bride was chewing fluorescent green gum during the walk down the aisle, as well as during the vows, and then all through the reception. She looked lovely, as long as she kept her mouth shut. Oh, and when I got married, one of my bridesmaids was selling drug at our reception (unbeknownst to me). I found this out after the fact.

  13. thea says:

    The best wedding I attended was my nephew’s. They didn’t have much money so the reception was in the church gym that the family decorated with crepe paper etc. it looked great. The bride’s dad, who was a rather wild stock car driver type, and the groom’s dad made the main dishes – keilbasa and sauerkraut and roast beef on wick. And let me tell you, it was the best wedding food I have ever enjoyed. Then everyone got drunk and crazy to a great rockabilly band. And at the end one bridesmaid ended up with her dress over her head like a half nekked barbie doll. Anyway, it was a favorite of mine. At my wedding my cousins bub fell out the side of her slinky dress on one turn, then slid back in the next. To this day we have never told her, but almost everyone saw that!

  14. Traci says:

    I haven’t been to a wedding since my own….over 9 years ago!! Everyone I know is already married. But I do love weddings!!!! Especially the cake.

  15. Sandypo says:

    My older brother’s wedding would definitely have made it onto TV if there’d been a camera crew around. The bride fastened the flowers and tulle swags on the pews with some serious adhesive so that we could not enter the pews from the center aisle — the guests had to go back around and come back down the outside of each pew to enter.

    At the reception, the only appetizer served were fried cheese balls and we could only take one because they were so limited. They served Kool Aid (no liquor) and had a scant buffet with plastic utensils, which broke when you tried to cut into your food. Several guests actually took one look at the buffet and left. There was a soda machine in the hall outside the reception area so many guests went and purchased their own drinks as opposed to drinking “bug juice”. It was the tackiest wedding reception I’d ever seen and ironically, my new sister in law was the church’s wedding coordinator, but when it came to her own wedding, she was clueless.

  16. Unmade dresses, carrot sticks and drugs on the bad side…excellent homemade food and googly eyes on the good! Love hearing your stories, gang!

  17. Jenny F says:

    My beloved cousin planned an exquisite wedding long distance from California (wedding was in Massachusetts). The effort she went through to make every detail just perfect was astounding. One part of the wedding that was very important to her was the horse drawn carriage ride from the wedding to the reception, and she fought city hall until they caved and gave her a permit, which thankfully, she carried in her little clutch purse all day. Because half way to the reception, she got PULLED OVER by the police, who told her she couldn’t have a horse and carriage on the street. Even when she showed them the permit, they refused to let her continue on the 100 yards or so she had left until her destination. I would have hated to be that policeman, I am sure he got a little well-deserved dose of bridezilla that day!

  18. Lisa Olech says:

    I’ve been a part of so many weddings…oh the stories I could tell! From the bride who literally ran down the aisle to a ceremony that took less than five minutes. A country wedding where you could tell the groomsmen because they all wore new jeans and whatever tie they found on the closet floor. They had to stop the ceremony so the bride could change the baby! A lovely ring bearer who Frisbee-d the ring pillow, and a bridesmaid that was more demanding than the bride. How about a groom that didn’t push cake into the bride’s face, but pushed the bride’s face into the cake!! Ahh….memories! *L*

  19. Sue Peace says:

    Well, not really a bad wedding (well, the vow part)…but it was an outdoor wedding with an open bar, the bar was open well before the wedding took place…no real food, just waiters walking around with finger foods/appies (no sit down meal at all)…needless to say there were a lot of drunk people even before the ceremony started…I’m pretty sure the bride was drunk too, saw her falling a few times in her nice white dress… 😯 🙄 As usual I was the designated driver… 🙄

  20. RobynDeHart RobynDeHart says:

    I can’t say that I’ve ever been to a particularly bad wedding. I’ve been to a few odd ones, but nothing too exciting.

    I find it vastly amusing you watch those shows, Kristan. I can’t watch that stuff, all the yelling gives me anxiety for some reason. 🙄 The Professor loves terrible reality shows though…

  21. catslady says:

    Well, my husband was very late to our wedding. He walked into the church and in a loud voice told his mother that he ran out of gas so I’m walking down the aisle while everyone is laughing – it’s a good thing I’m very easy going lol. We had just bought a new fancy English sports car and the night before I told him to not forget to get gas – that shows you how much he listens to me. Apparently he and the best man had to push the car (in their tuxes) down the street into a gas station. The attendant said he didn’t have a clue about fancy sports cars while a little kid standing nearby said, “hey mister – does it have any gas?”

  22. Lisa Hutson says:

    No, its shocking that these people went thru with the weddings to begin with. Its not shocking at all that they divorced. LOLOL

  23. Maribeth Curry says:

    I used to be administrator and organist for a wedding chapel- we used to award a ‘Bitch Bride of the Year Award’ to keep ourselves sane (my minister husband and I) Of course we never told the person who got it but we sure told others about the antics brides get up to- naming no names of course!

  24. I LOVE weddings, Kristan! The best wedding (besides my own) I’ve attended was a big Catholic wedding. The reception was $500,000 spectacle (I kid you not) attended by 500 guests. The bride’s dress was an original and cost upward of $10,000. It was in the ballroom of a magnificent hotel. There was a symphony orchestra; multiple-course sit down dinner; the chairs had white slipcovers tied with gold lamé bows; the flowers took your breath away; the ballroom looked like a sophisticated fairyland. Still, even though it was a wedding fit for a princess and the guests (including me – I caught the bride’s bouquet) had a blast, the couple did not look like they were having fun. They looked stressed as they tried to keep up with the evening’s choreography of where-to-be-when and made the rounds to greet all 500 guests. This wedding, despite its splendid opulence, made me decide I wanted a very small wedding: something intimate and elegant, with only my closest friends and family in attendance.

  25. Cindy Kirk Cindy Kirk says:

    My ex sister-in-law was a bridezilla. (she and my brother are now divorced)

    Several things went wrong at the reception (not big things–more like a series of small annoyances) and she LOST IT. Started screaming at the caterers and then at the bridesmaids.

    My husband looked at me and said, “that marriage will never last.” He was right.

  26. CateS says:

    One of the last ones we attended.. my hubby had the inside aisle seat… lit candle dripped onto his suit coat… it was also when we noticed the generation gap.. we were in church style apparel as were most of the friends of the parents… the bridal couple’s friends were mostly in jeans and tee shirts… Yup… we’d moved into ‘old fogeydom’…

  27. Shanah says:

    I once had the honor and complete humiliation of helping a friend plan her wedding. She wanted a Renaissance style wedding and since my husband and I were married in that style, I offered to help her plan. I thought I was being generous.

    She spent most of the planning time not telling me what she wanted and concentrating on getting her dress made by her soon to be mother in law. I even went to visit this mother in law to see the dress plans and help.

    Well, as I understood it, she wanted the wedding to be as authentically Renaissance as possible. She wanted floral hair wreaths for the bridesmaids, which I made and I explained that since I was married already, I should wear a hat instead of a maidens’ wreath. (I was also standing up in her wedding.) I understood her to say she was fine with this.

    To make a long story short, we (my husband and I) hosted the wedding at our church, we ushered guests, made invites, wreaths, decorations, found garb, etc. Stood up in the wedding, went to the reception…and I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t spoken a word to me the whole time, especially since she talked to my husband.

    She was pleasant to everyone else, except the person who had pretty much put her entire wedding together. Why? Because I had worn a hat when she had wanted me to wear a floral wreath. 😛
    She proved to be more Bridezilla later to her husband, and they have since divorced. We no longer have any contact with them, and I will not willingly plan another wedding. *sigh*

  28. M.O.T.B. (Mother of the Bride) says:

    A friend’s wedding was the worst one I’ve ever attended. Her new husband decided to battle his nerves by having a few too many glasses of champagne. He passed out and never made it to the reception. We barely saw her, save for her to eat her meal at the head table, alone and crying. 😥
    Best wedding? My daughter’s. A backyard, Robin Hood and Maid Marian theme (the cartoon Disney version is her favorite movie)…on Halloween. We all dressed up in medieval attire, even the guests and the Justice of the Peace. That was four years ago and people still comment on how much fun they had. Everyone insisted on bringing a dish and it turned out to be the best pot luck we could’ve imagined. Picture rotisserie chickens eaten with our hands, beef stew out of wooden bowls & spoons, etc. So much fun!

  29. Kristan –

    The best one was my son’s — he and his bride really personalized everyone (they are hockey fanatics!) and turned it into a very fun day with lots of nice touches for guests.

    The worst? My hubby’s coworker got married and the reception ended with the very drunk bride and groom fighting and the bride locking herself, screaming, in the ladies’ room… The marriage didn’t last too long either!

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