23 Comments
Leave a Comment
Share:
Well, as anyon
e whose been reading my posts lately can tell you, I’m waist-deep in nostalgia so far this year — I have been going to concerts presented by some of my favorite oldies (RAIN-Beatle tribute group, James Taylor, Carole King, Pat Benatar -this weekend, SIR PAUL MACCA in August!!!) and spending time with my favorite 80s-heartthrob Rick Springfield…
(forget those rumors that people around here were spreading about my disappearance with him and I don’t care if this photo makes it look like I was hiding out, I was home writing a book on deadline like a good writer should!)
Overall I just feel as though I’m constantly looking to the past.
Tomorrow is the king of all nostalgia days for me — my baby (aka almost-19-year-old child #3) graduates from high school!!
I can’t imagine how this happened though I think I figured it out – by the grace of God! LOL – I mean the graduation part of course. But this kind of caught me off-guard. Because of the length of time between having my boys (5-5&1/2 years between each of them) I have had ‘school-age’ kids for half my adult life. . . or maybe more? I even remember having one in elementary school, one in high school and one in college at the same time once. I’ve been the room parent, the fashion-show working, cake baking, car-washing, spaghetti-cooking, raffle ticket-selling, chaperoning, gift-wrapping, soccer/t-ball/baseball mom for so long I’m not sure I know how not to be…all those things!
So, this is not really empty-nest syndrome since he’ll still be living here at home while attending a local college, but it is a line of demarcation of a sort. Another of his steps towards adulthood and independence (pray God!)….the end of an era….
Any of you out there facing the same thing? Any strategies to suggest to me to make it easier? Post a note either commiserating with me or suggesting ways to celebrate and I’ll choose a winner to receive a book and a small giftie. (And yes, I know I am really, really behind in sending out blog prizes but I haven’t forgotten! I have a list and I’m checking it twice…oh, wrong day!)
Thanks in advance for all your suggestions. I’m going to read them tomorrow to keep from crying during the graduation so go for humor….LOL!
Terri is now awaiting the release of book 2 in her Knights of Brittany series from Harlequin Historicals — The Mercenary’s Bride is a July release and will be out this coming week! Stop by her website for more info on her current and upcoming books, her events and signings and other info… www.terribrisbin.com She’ll be posting a complete list of contest and blog winners there in early July, so if you’ve commented or entered, stop in to see if you’ve won! Otherwise, she is gathering together her prodigious TBR pile and getting ready for a few weeks without a writing assignment! Woohoo!
Filed in: Writers and Writing
Jun 23rd
2010
12:38 am
Jane Said:
Congrats on the upcoming release and congrats to your son on graduating high school. I don’t have any strategies to share since I’m not facing the same thing.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
1:11 am
Mitzi H. Said:
When my youngest left home the house seemed so quiet. It was weird at first, but it didn’t take long before I began to enjoy that quiet.
It had been so many years that I had forgotten what it was like to be alone (truly alone) with my hubby. We could eat dinner if we wanted to Or not….We could walk to the kitchen in the middle of the night naked, watch what we wanted to watch on TV, or take off on a weekend getaway on the spur of the moment. It’s very much like when you’re first married…but different. I must say I’ve enjoyed it very very much.
And the one thing I learned several times over….is they come back!!! They may leave for school but then they’re back (usually with loads of laundry and a grocery list a mile long). They move out with friends and then they’re moving back in (wanting their old room that you’ve made into a new office or a craft room). They take a job in a strange city and before you know it…they’re calling and asking if they can come home. It seems they miss home, friends and family just as much as you miss having them close.
Then before you know they’re getting married and….yep, they’re back…with babies. Ohhhh, Life Is Good!!!!
Congrats on your new book and have a great time at your son’s graduation!!! And Take Lots Of Pictures!!!!
mitzihinkey at sbcglobal dot net
-
Jun 23rd
2010
9:18 am
eap Said:
Just remember he will bring loads of laundry, call when he needs money for a long time/ Start writing recipes for him in one of those binder notebooks for hos first cookbook from mom, along with tips on laundry, how to, a basic first aid kit (pepto, tyenol for the bathroom…
He will come back…just focus on the future.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
2:30 am
kris Said:
Congrats on the new book and the HS grad. I don’t have any really helpful suggestions other than alcohol and lots of it. that seems appropriate in almost any situation!!!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
9:18 am
Andrea Snider Said:
Hi Terri! I know exactly how you feel! My boys are 6, 12 and 18. I can remember thinking OMG, I cannot wait until this boy (the oldest) gets out of school, and starts his own life! ha! He graduated (by the grace of god, and a prayer!!!) in May and has since moved in with my younger brother who lives in a much bigger city with, and I quote “more job opportunities!” lol, does he have a job? No, is he looking for one, no! It was just an excuse not to have me saying- “You need a job or you need to sign up for college!! For his graduation present he is going on a trip to England/Scotland and the Canary Islands and when he comes back he’s going in the Navy. There is a point here, really there is! The day that he packed his things up and moved CRUSHED me. I had NO idea I would feel like this- and I still have two others at home. I cried for a week! And he’s only an hour away!!! I guess no matter what you feel a loss when they grow up and away from you! So the only advice I can give is to just chin up and live your life and watch your son grow away from you and into a fine young man!!! We all have to let go, no matter how hard it is!!!
Says, me who still cries at the thought of it!!!
Good luck!!! Oh, your new book sounds FABULOUS!!! I definitely need to get my hands on that one too!!!! Congratulations!!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
9:43 am
Kirsten Said:
Hey Terri,
I’m not going through the same thing but I remember when my sister left home for college my mom had a bit of a fase. I was still there but she was watching all sis’ old homevideos and crying over her baby pictures. Staring out of the window sighing her name. Not really knowing what to do…
I suggested to her that we do something with the picters instead of just looking at them & we made scrapbooks while drinking tea and eating lots and lots of yummy chocolates. It seemed to help (although not for our weight but) after a few weeks things were sort of back to normal. Mom had gotten (more) used to it.
I guess it’s a bit of a grief thing, ‘losing’ your baby. Keep busy and don’t forget to enjoy every minute of it. Celebrate your fun moments together. Take pictures, hey make a scrapbook and eat chocolate. It just takes time I think.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:03 am
Shana Said:
I can’t help. Right now I don’t think I’ll ever even be able to go to the bathroom alone again!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:07 am
Quilt Lady Said:
Congrats on your new book and your son graduating! My son has been in college two years now and lives in the dorm when in college! The rest of the time he lives at home, still depends on us all the way! Things around here hasn’t changed that much. I still drive him every where he needs to go because he hasn’t gotten his license yet! So in a way I still have my baby! I kind of wish he would grow up!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:08 am
Crystal B. Said:
Congratulations on your new release and to your son for graduating high school. I would suggest planning occasional mom and son days where you get to spend time together doing something you both enjoy.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:21 am
donna ann Said:
Congrats on seeing your youngest acheive this milestone as well as the new book. He’ll always be your baby. There’s still hope that he might actually grow up and:
— do something when you actually ask him to do it, the first time
— think to do the little things (rinse/wash supper dishes, take out garbage, let you know your almost out of xxx so it can be bought at the store beforehand) with out being asked/reminded
— treat you to dinner (even if only pizza delivery) for no reason
— not be imbarrassed by your showing him public displays of affection (gasp) in front of his friends, but actually willing returns them
Enjoy the graduation celebration — HS graduations are for the parents not the kids — it’s the signal that they’ve successfully put an adult into the world and now it’s the world’s turn to watch out for the demon, umm new adult instead
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:26 am
Fran Said:
Congrats! You made it, you survived all three children and now it’s your time
Well at least that’s what my mother said when I graduated as the youngest of three children 
. My advice is enjoy, this is a great thing, a success. Congrats on the upcoming release
-
Jun 23rd
2010
11:07 am
Linda Henderson Said:
I’m divorced so when my girls grew up and moved out I was all alone. I had never been all alone. The house was certainly quieter, but I missed all the activity. I was so used to going to soccer, basketball, track and every other activity that you can think of that it was a shock when it all ended. Thats been a few years ago and now my grandkids come over with their parents and the apartment I now live in is filled with love and laughter. Those are the best days.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
11:49 am
runner10 Said:
Congrats!! You lived to tell!! My son will graduate high school next year. We are excited to see what the future brings for him. Be proud.
Enjoy your free time this summer.
-
Jun 23rd
2010
11:49 am
Melba Moon Said:
Summer is when I’m supposed to catch up on the writing, the reading and all the other things in my to-be-done pile. So far, I haven’t completed anything thanks to moving into the new house!
Melba
-
Jun 23rd
2010
11:52 am
Emily Said:
I am the second of 4 girls. My parents are supposedly empty nesters now, too. My mom will tell you that term means that you will become even busier than you were when you had all of your children at home. She has been trying to get her house back in order for I believe 10 years now. She just feels lucky to get the floors swept and the bathrooms clean. So I think you might find that this will not be as hard as you are thinking it will be. Adult children are much more demanding than babies. We expect a lot from our mommies. Especially since we are not on a regular sleep schedule anymore.
Congratulations to your son and to you on the new book!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
12:00 pm
Carrie at In the Hammock Blog Said:
Congrats on your son graduating!! Don’t worry he will still need you, believe me!!!
Enjoy the celebration!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
1:16 pm
Barbara Elness Said:
Have fun at your son’s graduation, at least he’ll still be living at home during college. I was a single mom and my son didn’t leave home until he got married – then it was just me on my own. My response was to get another cat so I’d have a little more companionship, and then I got active as a volunteer in the animal rescue organization I adopted from, in addition to my regular job. That kept me plenty busy so I didn’t have time to worry about being alone. Good luck!
-
Jun 23rd
2010
2:28 pm
catslady Said:
I was never one to really like change but darn it all, you just don’t get that choice lol. The good news is they never really stop needing you whether they admit it or not lol. My oldest just bought a house nearby which thrills me since she had lived 6 hrs. away and I’m not much of a driver. The plan is to be close to home so grandma can babysit lol. My youngest is still in college but lives there full time but luckily her boyfriend lives here so lots of visits. Time marches on (sigh).
-
Jun 23rd
2010
3:54 pm
Terri Brisbin Said:
Well I made it through the ceremony. No tears though almost when I saw one of my son’s friends whose mom passed away 2 years ago walked by. Off to a celebratory dinner at our fave Chinese bistro!!
BTW — 96 degrees, heat index of 100+ and sunny on the field!! I think I melted.
Terri
-
Jun 23rd
2010
10:02 pm
Mary M Said:
Congratulations to you and your son
-
Jun 24th
2010
11:26 am
Margay Said:
I can understand how you feel because my baby just turned 17 yesterday, so that really makes it feel like the end of an era, even though she’s not out of the house by any means. This year was quite interesting for me as her 19 year old sister attended her first year of college, which was tough on me because the college is an hour and a half away. The only thing I can say is just to love them as much as you can – and never forget to tell them that – and to let them take the gradual steps that will lead them to independence and a life beyond you. You might have to hold your breath as they do, but sometimes, you just have to trust that they will make the right decisions and be all right.
Margay
-
Jun 24th
2010
11:48 am
Lulu Said:
Congratulations and good luck with your baby’s graduation! I am at the stage where most of my friends are going through the same thing you are while I’m dealing with potty training two toddlers! I can’t even imagine the newfound “freedom” you will enjoy. I say “freedom” because you know that children never leave the nest, they always come back.
-
Jun 30th
2010
5:36 pm
Danielle Said:
I say, do as Matthew McConaughey’s father does in the movie ‘Failure to Launch’ and create your own naked room. Now that you have your house to yourself, you can dress…or not dress are you please. How better to help your transition?
-