Welcome back, Anne Mallory, who left me a year ago for a life of crime! I even promised to be Bonnie Porcupine to her Clyde! Wait…Clyde Porcupine to her Bonnie! But she said my quills made me too much of a deadly killing machine.

Anne:  I still have those outfits! I mean… *looks around suspiciously* I still remember you “talking” about those outfits.

*waggles brows* They were good, weren’t they?

*Robyn disappears to look for photographic evidence*

So, Anne. I notice the lack of porcupines in your current release.

Anne:  Er…

And it’s a book about SEDUCTION. And SECRETS. True porcupine stuff! The tales I could tell…

Anne:  Which is why I would not rob you of the telling, Jaunty! Truly. I know you said you’d split the profits with me 10/90 if I wrote your memoirs, and 10% would totally be worth it, but I’m just not sure I’m qualified.

There, there. *pats head* I’ve come up with my own list in order to help you! Behold! The Seven Secrets of Porcupines!

#1: They have quills.
#2: They have tails.
#3: They like bark.
#4: They enjoy a good salt-lick.
#5: They are awesome.
#6: They like romance.
#7: They can move time and space.

Anne:  That last one must really come in handy.

You have no idea. I told you that you should take the 10%. *meaningful look* Hey, did I ever tell you about the Seven Secrets of Porcupine Seduction?

Anne:  *blinks* No. What IS involved in Porcupine Seduction?

Well, first you rub-

*Margo Maguire hastily grabs the microphone from Jaunty*

Margo: Um, Anne, why don’t you tell us something about your book.

Anne:  Sure! It’s about a bookshop clerk whose writings draw a viscount to her store. For you Jaunty, think of a quiet porcu-lass with big dreams and a brooding porcu-rake who is desperate to believe in something.

Here is the back cover blurb:

Scandalous and provocative, The Seven Secrets of Seduction is an intoxicating insight into the mind of men and the desires of women – and the book has all the ton talking.

Secret #1: Every good seduction begins with a baited hook…

Well-educated, but not part of society, Miranda Chase is just as captivated by the erotic pages as everyone else in London. Intrigued by the layers she sees beneath the book’s surface, she writes an editorial about it, never realizing that her passionate words will draw an actual viscount to her uncle’s bookshop.

Maximilian, Viscount Downing, has very particular ideas about passion and sees truth only in desire. He freely flaunts his sensual power and seeks nothing more than another conquest – the one that could justify his entire debauched existence. But Miranda’s blend of innocence, trust, and love cause a strange thing to happen on the way to this seduction. Something that just might threaten the very fabric of his jaded heart…

That reminds me EXACTLY of the fifth secret of porcupine seduction, Anne! You take your baited quill hook and stick-

*Shana Galen hastily puts hand over the microphone*
*Jaunty is disgruntled*

Fine, fine. I still think it would have been better with porcupines, but we always have my memoirs. Now, let’s go rob some banks!

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Anne:  Thanks for having me, ladies and Jaunty!  I’ve missed you all!