You are probably thinking that the title of this blog is a bit of a downer, huh? Or that I’m referring to my recent and current mental condition — my mind has been like a sieve lately, with everything simply leaking out into oblivion. LOL!

Actually, for those of you grunge rockers out there already know, those words are from a very popular song by Pearl Jam — Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town. The lyrics refer to those parts of life that fade with time — memories, thoughts, relationships, etc. It also happens to be the rather unorthodox music that I chose for the very traditional groom-dances-with-his-mother dance at my oldest son’s wedding almost four years ago.

You see, originally, after much gnashing-of-teeth and general wailing, I’d chosen a more appropriate song to dance with my son to at his wedding – a lovely song written by Carole King and sung by Emmy Lou Harris called “Child of Mine”. So appropriate that I burst into tears every single time I tried to listen to it! Clearly, it would be a warm and emotional moment when I turned my son over to the woman who now meant more to him than I do…. Um….not!  After listening to it, my son begged me not to use it. He knew what I knew–I would not cry discreetly at all, it would be open and loud bawling on his shoulder!  Not really wanting to have him and his lovely bride remember me for how much I cried (and therefore gave the wrong impression about being in favor of their marriage), I decided to do something I do well for special occasions – I lied!

I should explain that, huh?

I take pride in the fact that I can pull things over on my kids and hubby. I take aim at them for Christmas and birthdays and then lie ruthlessly in order to surprise them with a wanted gift or other desired present. I managed to surprise my youngest son with a Nintendo Wii when they were unavailable. I managed to sneak in tickets to various concerts and even planned a trip to Disney World without them knowing (at least too far ahead). So, in that same spirit, I approached THE SONG for his wedding. And when I thought about him as a teenager and them as a couple and the attitude they had about their wedding over all, I knew Pearl Jam was the answer.

The day before the wedding I made a CD of  “Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town” and gave it to the DJ at the wedding rehearsal, swearing him to secrecy. At the reception, when he called my son and I to the floor, my son kind of dragged his feet, expecting that other song and dreading it.  Then the music began and his face lit up and he smiled at me — knowing I’d pulled off another surprise. He laughed, his friends cheered and we danced. . .

And I cried anyway! LOL!

My son first became a fan of the group waaaaay back in the 1990′s when he was only 14 years old and the group was just getting some national attention. When he was 15, hubby and I took him and six of his friends (all that age!) to their first Pearl Jam concert in New York City. What an experience! We rented a big van, stocked coolers of food and soft drinks and off we went onto and across Staten Island, across to Brooklyn and onto Randall’s Island and the ancient Triborough Stadium next to the Triborough Bridge. Hubby and I sat in the rain, laughing at the boys who knew and sang every single word of every single song. It took us almost three hours to get out of the parking lot and off the island after the concert and three more hours to get home. Oh, what a day!

Then a couple years later, one of the patients I see in the dental office where I work turned out to be a roadie and he worked some Pearl Jam concerts. We would talk about those, and many others, when he would come in for his visits and one day he brought me in a treasure trove — Eddie Vetter guitar picks and handwritten set list from one of the concerts! I was proclaimed mother-of-the-century when I brought home those goodies!  I did it only to see the sparkle in my son’s eyes when I managed to surprise him yet again….

Since then, Matt has found a kindred spirit in his wife and then tend to get to every Pearl Jam concert within driving or train-ing distance. I’ve gone with him a couple more times (took my youngest son to HIS first Pearl Jam concert a couple of years ago too) and tonight hubby and I will travel to NYC with them.  We’re going to be at Madison Square Garden enjoying the music and the company and I will be remembering that first concert and that dance and trying not to cry as I watch my baby growing up.

So, is there a musical group or singer or song that you associate with the emotional times in your life? Something to do with your kids? Hubby? Family? Special person? Post a note and tell me about it and why it’s so important and I’ll pick a winner who will receive a Pearl Jam CD (or we can choose another) and a copy of my current Brava anthology UNDONE.

Terri admits that she is waaay behind sending out blog and contest prizes but hopes to catch up now that her ‘assistant’ is back from college and ready to help! She’s also excited to be going to the huge BEA (BookExpoAmerica) in NYC next week to sign at both the Harlequin and RWA booths — and hopes that any readers or booksellers reading this who will be there will stop over and say hello to her during her first-ever appearance there! Visit her website at www.terribrisbin.com for more info