Now I realize that whether or not you enjoy a movie is partly determined on your own opinion – educated or not. And I also admit that I tend to be one of those standard popcorn movie fans, you know the big-budget blow things up while eating a tub of popcorn. Big special effects work for me. I like action flicks. (Obviously I enjoy a good chick flick too, what kind of romance writer do you think I am?) I like good, intense and smart psychological thrillers and on occasion I like an art-house film. I love movies. Watch them often. The Professor and I went and saw movies nearly every week when we were dating. I think this comes from the fact that at my core, I just love story, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog.

As a writer, it’s inevitable that I dissect story, whether that be theatre, movies or books. I look for good story structure and strong characters and great endings. I wouldn’t say that I’m overly critical or picky, but I do notice things. And while I can sometimes be relatively easily entertained, there are some movies that I do not like at all. I would even go so far as to say that I loathe these movies. And, of course, this isn’t a conclusive list, just my top 5, or bottom 5, however you wish to look at it. Though I can’t say that these are in particular order of suckiness.

The Butterfly Effect – I know, I know, how can you hate Ashton Kutcher? He’s adorable, but this movie….ug. Emily always says of the movie Seven (one that I actually love) that she thinks it should have never been made. This is totally how I feel about this movie. It was so depressing that I literally felt bad for like three days after watching it. I got it, I realize it had a message of hope underneath all the darkness, but the blackness was too heavy for me to see through.

Alexander – This was my first, and last, Oliver Stone movie. I knew upfront that he was known for controversy and for creating his own version of history, so I didn’t go into this flick with high hopes. Still Colin Farrell. Well, there is nothing so bad as a terrible movie that’s about an hour too long. Has he never heard of the many talented editors working in Hollywood? I don’t know if that would have fixed all the problems in the movie, okay I do know that it wouldn’t have, but it would have helped.

Eye of the Beholder – Worst Ashley Judd movie ever. It’s so convoluted and strange. She’s naked a lot and cries about her father. And Ewan McGregor follows her around and there’s snow. And blood. It’s just odd, but not in a good way like Pan’s Labyrinth.

Magnolia – *heavy sigh* I hate to even include this one because my dear sweet Professor loves this movie. So when he pulled it off our DVD shelf and asked if I’d finally watch it (I’d avoided it at the theatre cause I knew I wouldn’t like it), I agreed. He’s my husband and we don’t have to agree, but I should at least try to like what he likes. Well, let’s just say this one didn’t go so well. I wholeheartedly agree that like the movie American Beauty, the acting performances in this movie are fantastic, just really stellar work. I can’t ignore that. But the story just blech. So dark, so depressing, so *sigh*.

Watchmen – I think if I had to pick one of these though that is the king of the sucky, it would have to be this three-hour masterpiece. Again, I knew before seeing this one that I wouldn’t like it. I normally like the comic book movies, but this one is just nihilistic and awful. Oh, and did I mention the giant naked blue guy? Like totally naked. And blue. And giant. Just odd and terrible. It’s like the worst superheroes ever! None of them were likable or redeemable and like Alexander this one was more than an hour too long. Not to mention it had one of those great *cough* *cough* message endings. Where the writer or director had some message he wanted to get across and instead of seamlessly weaving it into the story, he whacked us over the head with not just a 2×4, but a 2×4 on fire. Just horrible.

Okay rant over. So how about you? Did you like any of these movies? Which movies out there do you hate?

Also, over at the Grand Central Cafe I’m sharing the first excerpt from Desire Me as well as offering a chance to win an ARC of the book!