We’ve all know someone who’s totally butchered the lyrics to a song. Not us, of course, but maybe a family member or a close, personal friend. Someone who was belting out a tune – in total rock star mode - when it happens –“WAIT! What did you say?… NO!  That’s not how the song goes! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!!”

They’ve bungled the lyrics.

For me, the most delightful episode of misheard lyrics happened when my daughter was three. I was working in my office. She was playing quietly by herself in her room when she started to sing. Her sweet little voice carried down the hall, and the song went like this:

“You’re a grandma flag,

You’re a hot flying flag,

And forever in peace may she wave.

You’re the emblem of the land I love,

the home of the tree by the lake.

Every heart beats true for the red, white and blue

And there’s never a loaf of bread.

May all the Lincolns be forgot,

Keep your eye on the grandma flag.”

 

I nearly wet my pants.

Seriously.  I had to clasp my hand over my mouth to keep from ha-ha-ha’ing out loud. Once I contained myself, I walked into her room.

“Whatcha singing?” I asked.

“A song I learned in school,” she said.

“Really?  Sing it for me again.”

And she did.  With gusto.

Exactly as I’d heard it.

Lincolns and all.

 

To this day it’s my favorite misheard lyrics story. Even better than my high school friend singing, “HAM ON RYE” when Kenny Logins sang, “I’M ALRIGHT.” Or when a girl at a party was belting out, “YOU GOTTA DANCE TO THE LEFT, DANCE TO THE RIGHT…” as Jimmy Buffet sang, “YOU’VE GOT FINS TO THE LEFT, FINS TO THE RIGHT.” (She even had her own little dance to go with her imagined lyrics)

It even aced the time someone I know sang, “STOP! In the NEIGHBORHOOD before you break my heart.” When everyone knows Diana Ross says, “STOP! In the NAME OF LOVE before you break my heart.”  To me, it’s even better than the king of bungled lyrics - that line from Jimmy Hendricks’ “Purple Haze,” “Excuse me while I kiss THIS GUY” when it should be “Excuse me while I kiss THE SKY.”

Okay, if I’m telling on everyone else, I suppose it’s only fair to fess up. It happened to me the other day.  As a general rule, I don’t sing in public, because… well, I just don’t. If you heard me you’d understand. But I’m a diva in the car, and I was singing along to Jordan Sparks’s song, “Battlefield.”

Total bungle.

You’d think the title – BATTLEFIELD – would’ve clued me in, but rather than, “Why does love always feel like a BATTLEFIELD.” I heard and sang a heartfelt, “Why does love always feel like it’s BAD FOR YOU.” That was forgivable, but when she got to the part where she sings, “Go get your ARMOR.” I could’ve sworn she said, “Go get your MAMA.”    <hanging head in shame>

For my daughter, it was ultimate payback time for the mileage I’d gotten out of her “Grandma Flag.”  Not only did she Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, she pointed her finger at me and clutched the area where her belly would be if she had one.  Touché.  

How about you? Have you ever misheard lyrics or know of someone who has? Share it with us so we can all ha-ha together.