The Coffee House
A Histori-Skit by Sarah Parr
(The following piece and characters are entirely fictional, only the issue was real. Enjoy.)

London, Medford Hall
A lecture hall with two podiums before an audience of about a hundred there stand a man and a woman.
Introduction: Since the public fiasco last month, coffee houses have been under increased scrutiny. This afternoon, Elizabeth Haverstrom and Marcus Northingfrom will debate the issue. ~ Mr. Harold Tutherton, Esq
Elizabeth: Ladies and gentlemen of the London Well Being Society. London is being destroying at its foundation by the permeation of the coffee house throughout the city. Currently there are well over 2,000 of the odious structures. Rather than taking a meal with family, their lure keeps men out late, returning too exhausted for even the slightest conversation. It has even been reported that consumption of the’ nasty puddle water’ turns men impotent!
Marcus: (Shaking head.) Poor ignorant Elizabeth. This uproar is a pointless din. No medical evidences have arisen to show coffee dries properties of the spirit. In fact, according to numerous sources, there has been an increase in the number of births and a rise in the population. As for staying out late, the majority of coffee establishments offer meals for only a few pence. Is it any wonder after a day of hard labor a man would choose a meal that is readily available? This is no crime.
Elizabeth: You are a poor judge, sir. Living the sad and lonely bachelor life, you would be uninformed of the trials of marriage. Coffee houses are filled with debauchery and scandal. Even the most exclusive establishments have become disreputable.
Marcus: And yet they are used as penny posts, where anyone except turned-nose-snobbists like yourself, might have a letter delivered conveniently. Coffee houses are necessary for male interaction. It is there newspapers are read and discussed, not to mention business transpired.

Elizabeth: Business of a foul and disgusting nature, not that you would know the difference.
Marcus: (Turns from the audience to face her fully) Edward Llyod’s coffee house on the corner of Abchurch Lane has become a fixture in the shipping business. Many are used for the auction of goods, as evident in any newspaper. You must admit, coffee houses are a far better refuge than alehouses or taverns.
Elizabeth: (Ignoring him.) You can still get drunk at a coffee house. Then there is the issue of gambling, a plague, destroying lives and crippling the economy of the Empire.
Marcus: If you are referring to my loss of the one thousand pounds last year…
Elizabeth: (Whirls, squares across from him.) It would have secured our future. You promised both father and me to keep that money safe.
Marcus: Elizabeth, I’m sorry. I had hoped to make it back double fold, to buy you the home you wanted.
Elizabeth: That can’t happen now.
Marcus: You never opened my letters. I recovered the money and bought the house. I still want to marry you.
Elizabeth: (Stares at him for a long breath.) We are here to debate the future of the coffee house.
Marcus: (Crosses to her and takes her hands, kissing them). By the end of the millennium you’ll find a coffee house on every corner. Diversity in drink will be offered. People will drive up and order directly from their coach windows. Empires will be grown from the coffee plant.
Elizabeth: (Narrows her eyes, tightens her grip and nods). But not by us.
Marcus: (Searches her face and also nods). Agreed.
True to his word, Marcus prospered without frequenting another coffee house, becoming a successful masthead salesman. He and Elizabeth married and raised three children, living comfortably all their years. The popularity of the coffee house died off towards the end of the Georgian period. It lingered throughout Europe until near the end of the millennium where it was again popularized in Pike Place Market by Starbucks. Today three of Marcus and Elizabeth’s descendants are baristas.

Sarah Parr writes Georgian Historical Romance Adventure for Kensington. Check out her debut, Renegade at www.SarahParr.com








































Jun 24th
2009
11:57 am
Shana Said:
Too cute! How funny that coffee houses, which seem so innocuous to us now, were once considered disreputable.
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Jun 24th
2009
3:47 pm
Emily McKay Said:
Oh, that’s completely charming.
Perfect for consuming with my afternoon cuppa (which I dearly needed today!)
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