Of course, the first question on my mind was what to cook. Or more accurately, what to have McIrish cook. But then…Which china would we use? We have Fiestaware for everyday stuff (McIrish is the proverbial bull in a china shop, and Fiestaware’s very sturdy). We don’t have napkins that really go with the thinner china, which let’s be honest, I never really liked anyway.

 

And what about the hallway that I really need to paint? We’d have to get the piano tuned. And the yard’s looking a bit ragged at this time of year. Which flowering plants could I buy and plant right now? Once our guests were in the house, would Digger try to climb on Mr. Obama’s lap? Digger does that sometimes…other times, he barks and growls. What about the cats? Would they behave? Probably not. I can clearly picture Hyacinth leaping on Mrs. Obama’s head or presenting the her with a dead mole. And isn’t one of those beautiful little girls allergic to cats? Speaking of the girls, my daughter has always wanted a little sister. After about ten seconds with those girls, my own would start her campaign to adopt a girl and asking me why I won’t have another baby, and that’s not a conversation I want to have in front of the President.

 

And what about the Secret Service detail? Our house isn’t that big. Where is everyone going to sit? Also, what will we talk about? I mean, those two are intimidating. “Michelle, I love your clothes…” nah.  Speaking of clothes, what will I wear? What does one wear when the President comes to dinner and his wife is already a fashion icon?

What about dessert? They must have a killer pastry chef in the White House. I can bake a pretty good pie, but would it be good enough? I’m thinking apple — as in, “as American as apple pie.” Would they chuckle at that, or is it a bit heavy-handed? What about coffee? We never bought matching mugs…we kind of like that eclectic thing. Should I give Mr. Obama the “Cuppa Joe” mug, or would that remind him of Joe the Plumber and bring up unpleasant memories? 

 

After supper, I’m quite sure Sasha and Malia will want to go on our swing — all kids do, as it glides out over a hill — and then McIrish will do his thing where he pushes the kids so high that they scream, and Michelle would scream too, and then the Secret Service guys would tackle McIrish and wrestle him to the ground, and then Digger would think they were playing and try to join in and eventually start humping someone’s leg…

 

As my son said in his letter, he understands that Mr. Obama is “busy with the House of Reps. and other meetings.”  Chances are, the First Family’s schedule won’t allow them to drop in on our little abode. But you know, if they did…it would be quite an experience.

 

Have you ever invited a high-pressure guest to your house? How did it go?