Being a romance writer, I think about men a lot. It’s one of the many great things about doing what I do…I get to fall in love over and over without breaking any marriage vows. I get to look at pictures of Daniel Craig and Clive Owen, Jude Law and Derek Jeter (all in the name of research, I assure you!). I think about the qualities, hidden or overt, that make a great hero. A great husband.

 

My own husband is pretty fantastic. We met in line in New York City. He was standing in front of me, and the first thing I noticed was his beautiful, black, curly eyelashes. He had black hair. Green eyes. Ruddy cheeks. The map of Ireland written on his face. He looks a little like Bono, actually. Oh, and he’s a firefighter! (I know!) My first thought was, “Uh-oh. I’m in trouble.”

 

But good looks aside, it’s the day-to-day things that make McIrish a great husband, things that don’t necessarily leap to mind when you’re young and looking for love. Sure, sure, you want someone with a great sense of humor, a big heart, someone  free from drug addiction. But what else? What are the little signs that someone’s going to be not just sexy and charming, but a really good man?

 

Below is a list of some of the things I came up with. Some are taken from my own dear McIrish…some are little seeds I planted in books.

 

1.         Brings the heroine a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

2.         Doesn’t mind heroine’s icy cold feet against his.
3.         Cooks for the heroine.
4.         Cleans up whatever victims the cats bring home.
5.         Helps find heroine’s pet.
6.         Loves children…not just the cute ones, but the awkward, nose-ring wearing teens.

7.         Flirts with women who really need it.

8.         Has a dopey nickname for the heroine and isn’t ashamed to use it.

9.         Fixes stuff for heroine.

10.       Takes care of heroine when she’s sick. Really, nasty, cold sweat, stomach-making-ghastly-noises-bad-things-about-to-happen sick.

 

In thinking about the qualities that point in the hero direction of the Man-O-Meter, I had to come up with some of the warning signs for the Baddies. Alas, some of the below are taken from personal experience, too. (Another great thing about being a romance writer — revenge on old boyfriends!)

 

These are the things that, if your sister described them to you, you’d say, “Break up with him! He’s an idiot!” But when they’re happening to you, somehow you find a way to swallow it.

 

1.         Physically affectionate with a woman who’s not you.
2.         Doesn’t call when he says he will…because he forgot, and not because he was in the ER, the way you were picturing.
3.         Tells you that you’d be much more attractive if only you’d (fill in blank here).
4.         Text-messages friends while you’re describing your awful day./
5.         Is chronically late.
6.         Doesn’t like your family.
7.         Forgets what eye color you have.
8.         Doesn’t show up at important event in your life.
9.         Admires self in mirror far too often.
10.       Doesn’t know how to talk to kids.

 

How about you, gang? Any warning signs you wished you’d pay more attention to? Or, even better, little things your hero (real or fictional) would do for you without thinking?

 

Hope everyone has a great day!

 

Kristan