September 6, 2008

Seven Habits that Turn Men Off

I read an article recently that talked about the Seven Habits guaranteed to turn a man off. The interesting thing was I think these habits in a man would turn any woman off too.

The article took the examples from a book by Marie Forleo called Make Every Man Want You.

Neediness is not attractive. When I was dating it was a big turn off when a guy would tell me over and over “I miss you so much.” Okay, so it didn’t happen all that often…but once was more than enough. Keep in mind when you render yourself powerless, that’s anything but irresistible. In fact, it’s downright annoying.

Neediness is out. So is:

1. Incessant Insecurity

“Do I look fat?” “Is she prettier than me?” These type of questions are practically guaranteed to drive a guy crazy. And do you really believe him when he says “no” anyway? So, don’t ask. And keep in mind if you don’t think you’re irrisitible, he’s not going to either.

2. Clueless Communicator

C’mon, admit it. Most of the time you’re not really listening to him when he rattles on about his new running shoes, his favorite sports team, his …most of the time you’re thinking of what you plan to say next. Or if you’re married and he bought something, your thoughts are probably wondering how much those new running shoes are going to set you back. For fun, consider sitting back and listening. When you truly listen, you become instantly attractive.

3. Sloppy and Unkempt Appearance

Sure you want a man to love you for your inner qualities, but we all like to be proud of who we’re seen with… and don’t you feel better when you look in the mirror and like what you see? You don’t have to spend hours in front of the mirror…but pay attention to your appearance and chances are he’ll pay more attention to you.

4. Hardened and Bitter Attitude

This is not appealing in either sex. Can you picture this type of person? I can. Thin lips. Stony faced. Squinty eyes. Wow, what a turn on. Deal with whatever anger you’ve got stored up inside so you can lighten up and enjoy life.

5. Catty and Critical

It’s a mark of insecurity to criticize another woman’s clothing, shoes, hair, etc. It doesn’t make them look bad….it makes you look insecure and jealous.

6. Boring in Bed

What would an article about men and women be without some mention of sex?

7. Break “The Rules”

Dating rules have their place but they can come across as manipulative. You can break every rule in the book when you’re in touch with your own irresistibility.

Okay, now that we’ve established what you shouldn’t do, let’s look at some helpful suggestions:

1. Dump your Perfect Man checklist

C’mon, you know you have one. Set it aside for awhile and open your heart and mind. What if someone beyond your wildest dreams is just around the corner waiting for you if you are open enough to see him?

2. Forget the Battle of the Sexes

Dump the man-bashing jokes and the complaints. Guys are different from women and repeat after me -THAT IS A GOOD THING.

3. Drop Your Story

Don’t label yourself. “I’m ugly.” “I’m uneducated.” “I’m a pushover.” Instead simply be who you are right now.

4. Quit Complaining and Start Engaging

Complaining is a major man repellant and victimizes you. Get involved, feel good about yourself and you’ll make everyone around you feel good and what to spend time with you.

5. Get a Life and Keep It

Expand your world. Don’t shrink to his.

Okay, so you know my biggest peeve–needy behavior. What’s the biggest habit that turns you off or did when you were dating?

  4 Responses to “Seven Habits that Turn Men Off”

1. On September 6th, 2008 at 8:56 am
   Margo Maguire Says:
   

   That whole “get a life and keep it” is very important. All the other points fall into place if you have your own life and keep it going.

2. On September 6th, 2008 at 9:49 am
   Emily McKay Says:
   

   This is too funny, because I just heard the woman who wrote this book interviewed on the radio. I was thinking about blogging about it too.
   The thing I was going to talk about is the last one. That “get a life” thing.
   The Geek and I have been married for 15 years this month. (We married very young. No, really.) Now that we’ve got the kids I have no time to get a life. I’ve family, my work (writing) and my once a week yoga class. That’s it.
   I guess I should be thankful I’m a writer, which most people find at least a little interesting, even though it’s not really an interesting job.

3. On September 6th, 2008 at 11:34 am
   Shana Says:
   

   What turns me off is being ignored for the TV. I try not to talk during a show that someone is watching, but when I have something to say, I want undivided attention. USF has gotten really good at muting and listening.

4. On September 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
   Fedora Says:
   

   Thanks for the very entertaining post today! I think you’re right–these behaviors are pretty unattractive in anyone, male or female! And they aren’t just icky when you’re dating, but they continue to be unappealing in the long term, too.

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