August 25, 2008
Scotch Bonnet Napalm
Written by EmilyMcKay in Jaunty PostI’m a pretty competent cook. Not amazing. Not stupendous. But competent—I get food on the table and sometimes it’s damn good. I rarely have the complete and total misfire.
Rarely, but not never. Last night was one of those occasions.
It was a combination of things really. Poor planning, bad timing and surfeit of Walkerswood Jamacian Jerk seasoning.
With nothing else planned for dinner, I decided at the last minute to use up the plantains and make jerk chicken and sweet fried plantains. Since I didn’t have long to marinate the chicken, I tossed in a couple extra tablespoons of rub, to make sure chicken had some nice flavor to it.
Let me mention that I’ve used Walkerswood before with great results. Last night’s disaster was strictly a matter of user error.
The sign something had gone wrong was about five minutes into cooking time. I’d heated up my trusty cast iron skillet, added in a little oil, tossed in the chicken. Things seemed fine at first. Then the chicken started to smoke. By then I was frying the plantains and didn’t get the vent on quickly enough. Pretty soon the kitchen was filled with smoke.
And this was not just any smoke. This was strip-the-tissue-from-your-sinuses smoke.
Remember back during the first Gulf War when soldiers thought they’d been exposed to some horrible new form of chemical warfare? Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is what they used.
Remarkably, once the smoke cleared—literally—the food itself wasn’t that bad. The plantains burned, because, well, I didn’t have time to evacuate my family to safety and get them out of the pan. They ended up looking about as charred as my nasal cavity felt.
As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I put the jar of jerk rub away. That’s when I noticed the second ingredient was Scotch Bonnet Peppers. And yes, that’s one of the hottest peppers. Guess I should have noticed that before I drenched my chicken in it, huh?
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Shana Galen Says:
I have so been there, Emily! What makes me feel better is watching one of those cooking competitions. Even professional cooks have bad days.
Margo Maguire Says:
Wow. Too hot for me … I guess you must be a Texan, eh?
RobynDeHart Says:
That’s too funny. I’ve made plenty of cooking flubs myself thought I think we’ve only had to throw out twice and order pizza. Never tried the jerk seasoning I’ve always put mine together, but I would totally have done the same think you did, thinking more was better in the short time frame. HA!
EmilyMcKay Says:
That’s the problem with living out in the boondocks like we do. No one delivers out here. So if dinner is truly inedible, then it’s PB&J.