August 9, 2008
The Truth about Lies
Written by Cindy Kirk in Jaunty PostThe 2008 Harlequin Romance Report has an article that talks about truth and honesty. Both sexes (51% of women and 41% of men) agree that “trust/honesty” are the values that matter most to them in a relationship. Still, 63% of both men and women also agree that little white lies are sometimes okay.
I’m going to give you eight situations they discussed in this article and I’d like you to hear your thoughts. By Sunday night, I’ll let you know what the Romance Experts at Harlequin recommend in each of these sitations. The first twenty to comment will win a copy of my book, The Tycoon’s Son. (email me your name and snail mail addy via my website www.cindykirk.com so I’ll know where to send the book) If your answers match the Harlequin Romance Experts on all eight situations, you’ll also be entered into a drawing to win a copy of my book, When She Was Bad. I’ll post their answers Sunday evening so be sure to check back. Remember, to win you have to come out of lurkdom and post!
Here’s the questions…you just need to indicate LIE or DON’T LIE as your answer…and then elaborate on why you answered as you did.
1. You are on a first date that is NOT going well and all you want to do is get out of it.
2. You went out for dinner with your ex last night and failed to mention it to your significant other.
He/She asks what you did last night.
3. Your girlfriend just asked you for the millionth time –”Do I look fat in this?”
4. You made plans to go to the movies with a friend last week, but had a horrible day and just want to stay in.
5. When asked about your sexual history.
6. Your best friend just asked what you think of her new boyfriend.
7. You partied too hard this weekend and just need one day off from work.
8. On a resume or in a job interview.
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Anna Says:
Interesting post!
But difficult because it doesn’t tell you what you’re thinking that might make you chose between lying and telling the truth.
1. Lie if you can’t get out of it gracefully with a “thanks, but…”
2. Don’t lie
3. If she looks fat, suggest something more flattering, and lie if she’s being annoying about. If she doesn’t, don’t lie.
4. Don’t lie
5. To your MD regarding anything that might be medically relevant, don’t lie. To your partner, don’t lie, but don’t give too many details. The rest of the world… none of their business.
6. If you like him, don’t lie. If you are undecided, don’t lie. If you don’t like him and have *good* reason, don’t lie.
7. Lie. (Never had a day job I liked anyway.)
8. Don’t lie ever for any reason. Know when to shut up. Gloss weak points over as necessary.
Serenissima Says:
Very interesting topic indeed!
1.LIE, if you can do it nicely.
2.DON´T LIE: in this situation ever.
3.DON´T LIE, but tell the truth as mildly as you can.
4.DON´T LIE.
5.DON´T LIE to your partner.
6.DON´T LIE.
7.LIE, do it with style if you can.
8.DON´T LIE, EVER!
Kim Says:
1. Lie
2. Don’t lie
3. Don’t lie - friends should be honest
4. Don’t lie - we all have times like that
5. I’ll say Don’t Lie, but it depends on who’s asking
6. Don’t lie - best friends should be able to tell the truth.
7. Lie - work would probably not understand.
8. Don’t lie - it will come back later.
Jane Says:
1. Lie, but don’t come up with an outrageous story.
2. Don’t lie. If you get caught lying, they’ll think you’re hiding something.
3. Don’t lie, but use tact.
4. Don’t lie. Just explain that you don’t feel like going out.
5. Don’t lie. Honesty is definitely a must in this situation.
6. Don’t lie. Try to explain why you that way about him.
7. Lie. Sometimes you deserve a day off.
8. Don’t lie. References and other info can be verified.
catslady Says:
Well it is hard because I want to qualify my answers too but you just asked for lie or don’t lie so here goes:
1. Lie
2. Don’t lie
3. Lie
4. Lie
5. Lie
6. Lie
7. Lie
8. Don’t Lie
Normally I’m very honest but I do feel most of these were white lies as to not hurt someone’s feelings.
As for an example - No. 6 - a new boyfriend isn’t worth losing a friend over because he may not be around long, but if she were going to marry the guy then I would have to tell the truth.
Laura Says:
1. don’t lie - they’re on the date too and know it’s not going well. LOL
2. don’t lie
3. don’t lie - of course she doesn’t look fat!
4. don’t lie
5. don’t lie but depending on who is asking, wouldn’t necessarily answer either
6. depends - a lie might be in order if you don’t like them but it’s not really up to you to make that call for your friend - they have to realize what sort of person it is for themselves.
7. if you want to keep working - LIE
8. don’t lie - it could come back to bite you in the backside!!!
Stacie Mc Says:
1. Don’t lie - stick it out gracefully. You don’t have to accept another date. If you really can’t continue, honestly state that the date doesn’t seem to be going well and you just like to end it early.
2. Don’t lie - if they find out and you lied…you’re screwed. Tell the truth.
3. lie - and hope she’s as kind to you.
4. Don’t lie - if this is truly your firend - they’ll understand
5. lie - it’s no one’s business but your own and if someone presses for an answer then they deserve the lie (you should tell the truth in medical situations, however)
6. lie - if she’s into him, she’ll just get defensive. Stay out of this one. Just be there if it ends up going wrong.
7. lie - it’s not their business why you need a sick/personal day
8. don’t lie - this could ruin your reputation and career prospects if it gets discovered and gets out.
Gillian Says:
1. Depends on if it’s just going badly but he’s nice–or creepy. Lie, most likely.
2.Don’t lie-unless you’re hoping for another ex.
3.Don’t lie. Girlfriends, real ones, count on the truth. Then go shopping together!
4.Don’t lie. “Friends” can be told this stuff and understand.
5.This doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t bother to lie–it’s just no one’s business. Tell them to bug off.
6.No lying here. Truth.
7.If you have sick days due-lie.
8.Never. You’re doing as big a disservice to yourself as to the company if you lie. What a dreadful way to start a job.
Kimmy L Says:
1. Lie, but gracefully.
2. Don’t Lie, it will come out eventually
3. Don’t lie but find a way to tell her nicely that she needs something different.
4. Don’t lie
5. Lie, no one needs to know about your personal life but you.
6. Don’t lie, I’ve learned honesty with a frien is the best the way to be.
7. Lie
8. Don’t lie it may come back and cost you a really great job.
Lauren Says:
This looks like fun.
1. Lie
2. Don’t Lie - too many ways for him to find out.
3. Lie - no one wants to hear about their weight
4. Lie - to avoid hurt feelings
5. lie - good way to lose a friend
6. Lie
7. Lie - as long as it doesnn’t become a habit.
8. Don’t Lie - protect your rep.
Quilt lady Says:
1. Lie, have a go to restroom and have a friend call you with an emergency.
2. Lie say you went to dinner with a friend. partial lie
3. Lie a little and tell her she could lose a few lbs and it would make her look a lot better.
4. Don’t lie, tell the friend what is going on and you don’t feel like going out, they will understand.
5. Don’t lie to your partner, but just don’t go into great detail
6. Don’t lie just tell her you need to get to know him better before passing judgement.
7. Lie, call in sick if you partied too much you are sick anyway so maybe its not a lie.
8. Don’t lie, if you do it could come back to haunt you. A job is to important.