I joined RWA in 1998 thinking I knew everything there was to know about writing a romance and that all I really needed was to find an editor for the book I’d written. How hard could it be to sell my very first book? Yeah. Go ahead. It’s okay to laugh. I know I still laugh about it.

Honestly, I didn’t know a gosh darn thing. About characterization. About dialog. About presentation. My first book was 800 pages long. Single spaced. Yes, I was every editor’s nightmare. Eventually, I started figuring out some of the rules. But it took me a while. I kept writing book after book after book (I’ve written WAY too many to put a number on it. Really.). And I wondered. Why weren’t the editors and agents wanting my story?

So I started eyeing contests thinking maybe I just needed a track record. At the very least I’d get feedback. And boy did I ever! One judge told me that she hated my heroine but hated my hero even more than my heroine. And she hadn’t even gotten to my writing yet. I never told a soul about that one judge because I feared that this person had to be right. But I was stubborn. Like the heroines I love to write about. Give up? Me? Never! I was developing a tough skin. I already had a huge rejection pile (and by huge, people, I mean over 200 rejections when it was all said and done). Contest after contest, I never seemed to go anywhere. And the Golden Heart? What a dream that was. But I entered it year after year after year. And year after year I waited by the phone all day only to figure out by the weekend that I wasn’t a finalist…again.

And then…things started happening. Slow. Definitely slow. But at least it was happening. I finaled in my first contest! Never mind that I took last place. I finaled! It made me throw myself into my writing all the more. The next thing I knew, I went from placing last to placing first. And then in 2005 I found out I was a Golden Heart finalist in the Short Historical Category. I sobbed my thank yous to the gal that called me and quickly called up my critique partner, Maire Jolie, even though it was only 6 something in the morning. Talk about a wonderful experience.

Even though I didn’t win the Golden Heart, I met so many amazingly talented writers. And their story with regards to trying to get published reflected my story. But even though I was a Golden Heart finalist, I still didn’t sell. Everyone kept telling me to hang in there. So I did. I even decided to take a trip to London with my critique partner and see the place that I’ve been dreaming about all my life. I came back from the dream trip of my life to a personal nightmare that happened on the way back from the airport. My husband was brutally attacked by two men (strangers) in front of me and my two kids. He almost died. Lost a lot of blood and consciousness. If it weren’t for me taking on the two guys before the police arrived (and taking repeated blows to the head and body), I am told he most certainly would have died.

Taking blows for the person you love takes on a whole new meaning. And it changed my writing forever. At first I couldn’t write. Didn’t want to write. All I wanted to do was to make sure that my family was being cherished. Taken care of. I started thinking about the grim reality that if my husband had died, how would I have taken care of the kids? Writing is not a way to put bread on the table unless you’re a bestselling author. And here, I wasn’t even published. So I turned my back on my writing and followed my second love. Cooking. I went to culinary school and felt as if my life were starting all over. I missed writing but a part of me knew that it wasn’t practical anymore. And with me being in school I had an excuse not to write.

In the end,a huge part of me was suffering because of it. I turned my back on myself without knowing it. And this is where the fates stepped in. I’d hardly started school when I found out that I was a 2007 Golden Heart Finalist. My husband insisted that I go to National even though we were short on funds. So I went to National and even though I didn’t win, it was this sense of how awesome it was just to be part of the excitement. To be noticed after all these years of writing. After the Golden Heart/Ritas, at the reception, I saw my 2005 Golden Heart buddy Victoria Dahl and we started chatting. The sweetheart that she is, she starts asking about my writing, what I write, what I currently have to offer and after hearing the “pitch” for the last book I wrote before my husband‘s attack, she suggested that I submit to her editor and that she would slip in a good word for me.

I was beside myself. I realize in this industry it’s difficult to put your name on the line and more often than not people shy away from “recommendations” for both reasons of time/commitment and fear of what will happen to the relationship between two friends once the rejection comes. So anyway, Vicki e-mails her editor, John Scognamiglio, and God knows what the woman said, but he actually requested the full right off the bat. I didn’t expect much of it but I still appreciated the opportunity. I sent it off August 8,2007. It arrived in New York August 10, 2007. (I keep a calender and write everything down, in case you were wondering). I then get a call on August 16 from John. The editor. Only I’m not there to take the call. I was in Powell’s (the greatest used and new book store in the world!) loading up on books that I kept telling myself I needed to keep me in the game.

I came home and there’s a message. It’s from John at Kensington and he wants me to call him. But he says he won’t be in the office on Friday (it was a Thursday when he called). So I called him ASAP, about 40 minutes after he did, but he had already left the office. Talk about torture. I left a polite message or at least I think I did because I was so freaked out of my freakin’ mind, I still don’t remember what I babbled out. And then I start thinking, Could this really be it? No. Wait. It’s way too soon. And gosh darn it, I didn’t include a synopsis with the complete!! But then I started really hashing it out with my husband. He kept telling me to at least try and be prepared. Start thinking positive. Start looking into agents. Just in case. So here I was calling around telling agents, “You know, I think I sold, but I’m not sure because I haven’t really touched base with the editor and won’t until Monday. You interested???”

Pam Hopkins, who is represented by one of my chapter friends (Su Lute), told me to send the first three chapters but that she wasn’t promising anything, because even if the book is a sold book she needs to love the book. Which I absolutely loved about her. So anyway, I spent the whole weekend AGONIZING about what Kensington had called about. I didn’t want to tell myself I sold and then have that taken away.

Come Monday, Pam calls the house and leaves a message that she really liked the first three chapters, loved my voice, and wanted to see the rest before making a decision. I get home from culinary school and still no word from John. So I take a deep breath, knowing it’s already 4 o’clock in New York and call him and leave another message saying that I was going to be home. And I wait. He calls within the hour and introduces himself and says he wants to buy the book.

I was still in shock, even though I knew the possibility of him wanting the book was “sorta” there. Hell, I’m STILL in shock. I somehow gained my wits about me and told him that I wanted to go into this with an agent. Right after I got off the phone, I talked to Pam Hopkins for awhile and well, she’s my agent!

SOOOO…the deal? I got a two book deal with Kensington. My historical romance, Mistress of Pleasure will debut this September 2, 2008. Mistress of Pleasure is book one in the five-book School of Gallantry series about men enrolling in a very special school that educates them in the art of love and seduction. I am still throwing up butterflies just thinking about it (I don’t think you ever quite get over it). And in the end, I have all of my friends and my critique partner to thank. For keeping me afloat even though I thought I had already drowned.

The lesson of this story? Don’t ever give up on your writing or your dreams. Ever. EVER.

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