June 19, 2008
Yoga with the Fraulein
Written by EmilyMcKay in Jaunty PostWhen I first started practicing yoga, I went the DVD route. A couple of years ago, I took my first yoga class with a woman named Meg. To be honest, the only I reason I took the class was because they offered child care and I was desperate to have a few minutes of peace and quite even if I had to stand on my head to get it.
Do you remember the nineties sitcom Dharma and Greg, featuring the free-spirited yoga instructor Dharma? Well, Meg was like Dharma on Prozac. She was so soothing to be around, I wanted to follow her home like a stray dog. I loved yoga with Meg, but my schedule changed and I drifted away from her class.
Seven weeks ago for Mother’s Day, my husband bought me pass for an eight week beginner yoga class with a woman named Connie. Connie is great. She’s a phenomenal yoga instructor. Completely knowledgeable and very generous with sharing that knowledge. However …
Connie is from a somewhere in Europe, from her name, I’m guessing Germany. In normal conversation, her accent is hardly noticeable. But when class gets started, she starts barking out orders. “Your buttocks must be tight! Tight!” “You must roll your shoulder back. Roll your shoulder back.” As class progresses, her accent gets stronger and stronger. In the end it’s like taking yoga with an Eastern block dictator.
And let me set this straight about the term “beginner’s yoga.” This class was a beginner class the same way boot camp is beginner exercise. Connie has us twisting our bodies in ways I never imagined possible. And then holding the position. I spend half the class worried I’m seconds away from tipping over backwards. And needless to say, the next day I can hardly move.
At last night’s class, there was someone new. At the beginning of class, Connie asked the new woman what she wanted to get from the class. The poor woman said she wanted to relax. Um, sorry, hon. Wrong class for that.
So what about the rest of you? Anybody else taken any crazy exercise classes?
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Shana Says:
Oh, Emily! I took aerobics once with this guy who was so tough to follow. I’d been taking aerobics for several years and knew all the moves, but this guy was impossible to keep up with. Finally I stopped showing up on the nights he was teaching.
Lately USF and I have been talking about doing a bootcamp. I think I’d like it if it’s in the morning. No way I could muster the energy in the afternoon, after working all day.
RobynDeHart Says:
I took water aerobics with my grandmother when I was a little girl. It was just me and these old ladies and I really just liked bouncing around in the water. I’ve thought about joining the old ladies at my local Y for the new and improved aerobics, but so far I’m just sticking to the treadmill and circuit.
Margo Maguire Says:
I always wished I’d gotten into Yoga. But for me - it’s the treadmill and my stationary bike. And weight-lifting, of course!
EmilyMcKay Says:
Margo, you should try a yoga class somewhere. It’s really great, even with the dictator.
Robyn, I love the image of you jumping around in the water with the old ladies.
Shirley Karr Says:
Last fall I took a few yoga classes for new moms when my son was 4 months old. Tough but I enjoyed it. Alas the class ended because the instructor was 8 months pregnant.
Three months ago I started going to Jazzercise and am much stronger even though the scale still isn’t moving. I go at various times depending on when baby is napping. I like Yachiyo’s class because I can (mostly) keep up. I have to stop going when Lisa is leading — she looks like a former Blazers dancer and moves at a frenetic pace, and my knees just can’t handle it.
Btw, a friend’s daughter attends yoga classes in Manhattan and sometimes well-known people join them. A few weeks ago Orlando Bloom dropped in. Can you imagine doing dead bug position and in walks Orlando Bloom?
She got to talk to him after class and said he was very nice, down to earth.
Buffie Says:
OMG Emily!! And here I have been thinking about trying yoga. Maybe I need to rethink that.
Fedora Says:
Emily, I’m so sorry, but Connie sounds hilarious (from someone who’s never gonna take a class from her!)
I’ve never taken a yoga class, but am thinking about trying to find an adult ballet class to get back into…
EmilyMcKay Says:
Buffie, don’t let my horror stories turn you away. Yoga is really great, even with the dictator. I keep with it because I have fantasies that some day I’ll be as flexible as she is. And then I won’t be embarrassed If Orland Bloom does walk in.
Mary M Says:
An eccentric friend of mine took me to a spa weekend she’d won at a charity auction. The exercise classes were good but I couldn’t get her to go to one! The only exercise she got all weekend consisted of going from the lounge chair by the pool to the parking lot to smoke!