I learned a new word this weekend. Limmerance. I looked it up in dictionary.com and it wasn’t even in there yet.

USF and I attended a couples’ retreat this weekend, with the objective of reconnecting and setting aside time to talk about and work on our marriage. I’ve always read that successful marriages take time and effort, so I’m a strong believer in taking a weekend every few years and remembering why you fell in love and what your shared vision for the future holds.

As part of our retreat, a couple who specializes in marriage counseling worked with our group on stages of marriage. The initial stage is limmerance, which means, roughly, the early state of being in love.

Limmerance is that time when two people are falling in love. You know, when you can talk for hours and it seems like minutes, when you physically hurt being away from one another, when all you can think about is the other person.

The psychologists described it as a type of psychosis. They were joking of course, but there’s a kernel of truth in that observation. Who could sustain a lifetime of floating around being completely absorbed by another person?

And yet, everyone who’s ever experienced that feeling yearns to recapture it. I think that’s the reason romance novels are so popular. Romance novels focus on that period of limmerance.

I think writing about love helps me to remember those initial feelings of limmerance and to look for ways to bring them to the surface again. Our weekend away is one product of that priority.

What about you? How do you reconnect with your loved one?

Try this fun and interesting Sex Test. Let us know how you do and which of the answers surprised you the most! I believe I’d like to do a drawing of names today … every participant will have a chance to win a book and some book cover flats from some of your favorite Avon authors!

This week I read a book where one side of the heroine’s face had been burned/disfigured in a fire. A friend was telling me about a book she just read where the heroine was blind.

It got us to talking and me to thinking about what I usually like to see in a heroine. Normally I like heroines to be smart, witty, strong and pretty. Although I loved the book I just read (Rainbows End by Irene Hannon), I’m not normally into heroines who are disabled or physically flawed.

Please don’t throw anything…

I have great admiration for anyone who struggles with any challenge. But I read for escapism…I don’t want to worry about the hero or heroine in a cruel, often insensitive, world.

What about you? And if you’ve read and loved a book with a disabled/physically flawed hero or heroine, I’d love the title and author!!

Congrats to Maureen and Kathryn, who each won a copy of Joanna Wayne’s book. Email Joanna at joanna@joannawayne.com. Let her know your address, so she can send you the books.

Congrats! And scroll down to read Shirley’s blog on clutter.

Last year as part of preparing for our baby’s arrival we did a major cleaning job, which necessitated going through every single item in our bedroom closet. Some items hadn’t been touched in years and still I had a hard time parting with them. The perfect purple cotton blouse, for example, that was literally coming apart at the seams and becoming R-rated. I held onto it long past the time it was wearable, promising to work it into my new hobby of making rag rugs. Sentimental but practical! Then my husband gently reminded me I hadn’t yet finished the first rag rug that I began three Christmases ago. (I want to finish, but my hands get sore.)

Anyway, you get the idea — I hate to let go of things and I’m used to wearing favorite clothes until they fall apart. So imagine how painful it is to go through my son’s dresser and box up or otherwise remove darling clothing items that he only fit into for a couple months or maybe only a few weeks. And this week was the third time I’ve had to clean out his dresser even though we’ve only been using it for three months. And we’ve only just begun!

This task is easier for some of my friends because they plan to have more children. They simply box everything up and save it for their next baby. They still have everything, it’s just stored out of the way.

But we’re way too old to survive doing this all over again. I’ve used some of the too-small stuff as trade-in at a baby resale shop for buying the next size up, sold on-line (just love Craig’s List!), donated some, and boxed much of it in preparation for giving it to someone who’s expecting a boy (all of the women I know who are pregnant now are expecting a girl) just the way much of it was given to us. It makes it a tiny bit easier knowing it will go to another cute little boy. (Not as cute as my son, of course.)

But there are still some things that hurt to let go of, that almost bring me to tears. The white onesie and dark blue cotton knit pants, for example, that Daniel wore in his first formal portrait taken when he was three months old. A tiny bib embroidered with a lion. (Daniel, lion’s den — get it?)

Molly, a neat freak I work with who has six-year-old twins, shared with me her coping strategy — a memory box. Not just for the first tooth and report card kind of stuff, but also for those clothing items you just can’t part with yet. Go straight from the dresser to the box, no cluttering allowed.

I need to get over this hang-up because the flip side is that there are more cute clothes to put into Daniel’s dresser, and if I wait too long, he won’t get to wear them at all. I bought a pair of pants and blue plaid flannel shirt at the end of summer, and kept thinking they’re still too big. Finally put them on him a week ago, and –- you guessed it — the only way we’ll get those pants on him again is if he’s in a disposable diaper instead of the usual cloth diaper. Oh, and I have to learn to judge his clothes by the size of the garment, not by size on the tag. He’s wearing several 12-18mo onsies that fit fine now, while there’s a 3mo size shirt that’s still baggy.

So, are you a keeper or a tosser? If the former, how do you avoid cluttering up the whole house?

Hi, I’m delighted to be asked to blog for Valentine’s Day. I know some people hate the day. I love it for several reasons. The main one is that romance gets a lot of hype on and around February 14. I like people talking about romance and hopefully buying romance novels. I have one out this month. It’s POINT BLANK PROTECTOR, the third book in my Colts Run Cross Series. So join in today’s discussion and two readers who comment will be randomly selected to receive copies of the book.

I’m always open to questions about writing for Harlequin Intrigue, so feel free to ask about that. And since my current series is about a large Texas family with four very sexy brothers, I’d also love to talk about how you feel about writing or reading family sagas, especially those that come as a series.

And lastly, what do you like – or dislike – about Valentine’s Day. My most romantic Valentine’s surprise was when my husband hired a barbershop quartet to come to my house, sing me a love song and give me a rose. Only problem was that when they got there I was busy writing.

I looked out the window, saw four men in bright red sports jackets and decided they were either selling something or part of some strange religious cult. I think they saw me when I peeked. Nonetheless, I went right back to my writing and didn’t go to the door in spite of the fact that they kept ringing the doorbell. Finally the phone rang and when I answered it, it was the quartet telling me they were supposed to sing to me and would I please let them in.

Where was my husband during this romantic moment you might ask? On the golf course. Oh, well, it was still romantic.

Since we’re right upon the season of love it seemed appropriate to think about the heroes we fall in love with every time we pick up a new romance novel. I know it happens to me with every hero I create. They’re all special in their own way, with their own unique sexiness. So without further ado, I offer you some prime hero material for your viewing pleasure.

So how about you, what do you like in your hero? Real or fictional?

I just saw trailers for the film, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and an interview with Freddie Highmore (the child actor). This movie looks like fun, so I think we’ll probably see it.

The trailers for Fool’s Gold have me cringing. It looks awful (feel free to correct me if you’ve seen it!). I like Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, but I doubt I’ll even bother with it when it comes out on DVD. I’m looking forward to checking out 27 Dresses, Juno, and Michael Clayton. But I think I’d better hurry, because some of those are probably not going to be around for much longer.

What about Meet the Spartans? If you liked The 300, this spoof might resonate with you, although I haven’t seen any trailers. I have a feeling it’ll be a cross between The 300 and Meet the Parents. Whoa!

Cloverfield gave my daughter motion sickness. They used the same kind of camera technique in The Blair Witch Project which means there’s a lot of camera jiggling going on. Plus, the trailers are reminiscent of the old Japanese monster movies. I think I’ll pass.

The Eye looks kind of interesting, but it’s a familiar story, which makes me think it must be a remake of another film. Not that that’s a bad thing … I think it’s got a cool premise: a blind woman has a corneal transplant, which gives her the ability to see something otherworldly. Hmmm… I like spooky films.

But here’s one that might be too creepy even for me. Untraceable. Its premise is that a killer commits murder online, and the more hits his website gets, the faster he kills the victim. Ewww!

I like spooky thrillers, but my husband isn’t really fond of them. So I tend to rent them when he goes out of town Disturbia was my last one. [[shudder]]. These things are even spookier when I’m all alone in the house. What a masochist, eh? But that’s one of my secret pleasures.

What about you? What kind of DVDs do you like to watch when you’re all alone? If you’re not willing to share your secrets , then what’s on your must-see movie list this winter?

Some fun lolcats to start your week off with a smile.

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

Since I broke my hand this week, I’ve had more time to read. Most of the books have been very enjoyable. The ones which didn’t keep my interest, I set aside (and don’t plan to pick up again) I have a friend who, once she starts a book…will always finish it. I used to be like that…but not anymore. Thirty pages to capture my interest…if not, I’m done with it.

I started thinking what pulls me out of the story or what keeps me from ever getting into it in the first place. An interesting storyline that captures my attention from page one is a must. Consistent characterization is essential. I hate it when a hero or heroine does something just because it works for the storyline.

I have to like the hero and heroine and want them to be together. They also have to be worthy of each other. Neither can be TSTL (too stupid to live) I’m sorry but when the killer is breathing down your neck, you don’t stop to make love..no matter how hot you are for each other!

I like to see both the hero and heroine grow during the course of the book and see both become stronger/wiser as a result of knowing each other.

What about you? What pulls you out? More importantly what sucks you in?