July 20, 2007
Have you ever been dissed?
Written by Cindy Kirk in Jaunty PostAfter the recent RWA conference, I read several accounts on email loops of someone being dissed by a favorite author. Of course, this is an exception. I think romance authors are the nicest in the literary community. Now I’ve not had an author I admire snub me but it happens.
Even if I loved an author, if she or he dissed me when I approached them, I don’t think I’d ever buy another book they wrote. The same would hold true of singers etc.
Have you ever been dissed by someone you admired? Did it alter your buying habits?
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Haven Rich Says:
I think it’d depend greatly on how much I truly liked their writing. Not saying they would, but if Julia Quinn or Teresa Medeiros totally ignored me, I’d still buy their books. *sigh* I love their writing that much. I just wouldn’t like them very much as a person. However, both of these ladies are so sweet, I don’t think they’d ever snub anyone.
I have, however, caught authors when they were busy but never in my life would count that as them dissing me.
Now I have been dissed by people I thought were my friends and well, I’m no longer friends with them.
Interesting blog Cindy.
Shana Says:
I’ve never been dissed, but I did have an experience years ago at an RWA signing with a big-name author who seemed less than interested in talking to me. I was going to buy one of her books, and it seemed a real imposition for her to tell me what they were about or even sign the one I chose. I don’t know that it stopped me from reading her books, but I didn’t forget it, either.
ladydawgfan Says:
I’ve never been snubbed by my favorite authors simply because *sniff, sniff* I’ve never yet had the chance to meet any of them!! I have, however, sent e-mails to several of my fave authors (you know who you are
) and all have responded quickly and graciously, even though I realize that a writers life needs at least 36 hours in a day and 9 days in a week, just to get anything done.
On the other hand, I did watch a movie being filmed some years ago and the actor who was starring in it, famous for playing the role of mild mannered goofballs, completely lost my respect when, as soon as the cameras stopped rolling, he began screaming obscenities at the people around him, irregardless of the crowds watching the filming. He had the complete “I am STAR, hear me roar” attitude going, and it totally disgusted me, to the point that whenever I see him on screen, it takes me back to that day and his treatment of the “little people” around him. It doesn’t seem to matter what role he plays on screen when I know what an absolute jerk he is off screen.
Cindy Kirk Says:
ladydawgfan,
If that had happened to me…I’d also remember that behavior when I’d see him on the big screen.
I have little tolerance for anyone who treats other people that way.
Clarisse Says:
I think a lot of authors are really shy people at heart (which explains a part of why they end up picking a profession that lets them work alone). Coming out into public and putting on the author “persona” may be harder for some than for others. Then, of course, there are the ‘naturals’ — people so clearly comfortable with fans that they are a pleasure to watch I mentioned somewhere else that I was watching from the end of a long line waiting for Lisa Kleypas to sign books and her interaction with each fan (which was only a pantomime from a distance) looked like she had just been reunited with an old friend. I think it was Nora Roberts who said that authors need to remember that a signing is the fan’s moment, not the author’s: that person has come a long way and is standing in line to meet someone whose works they care about. The author is responsible to give them a good moment and if the author can’t rally to achieve that, then maybe that person would be better to not do public events.
Now, as for an author dissin’ or giving the “cut direct” to another author? Well, that is a horse of a very different color.
Clarisse Says:
Hey Cindy, you got the short end of the straw today. With the Harry Potter release, all the usual visitors here are probably nose in a book.
Cindy Kirk Says:
Clarisse,
If the visitors are doing anything else…I’d rather them be reading!!
I wanted to thank you for the hand cream and to say it was great meeting you in Dallas!
Clarisse Says:
Cindy, the pleasure was mutual and you are such a delight I can’t imagine any author not climbing over folding chairs just to get to meet you and spend time chatting with you. Wish we had had more time. Nationals is really a madhouse!
Glad you liked the hand cream. It is my favorite brand too and being a writer means paper cuts are an occupational hazard so you need something loaded with shea butter. LOL
Jenna Petersen Says:
I have been dissed twice by authors. The first time before I was published. The second was just last year. The one who did it the first time I realized was just painfully shy. The other one is… well, she is just not a very nice person. And I don’t have to waste time worrying about her.
The thing I learn from these experiences is how I DON’T want to act. I never want someone to leave me feeling worse than when they met me. Especially someone who is coming to buy a book from me or tell me thanks for something. That’s one of my favorite parts of being an author.
catslady Says:
I’ve never met any in person but I’ve been dissed online. One example is an author at a chat promised one of her books - after waiting months I wrote a nice reminder, she always had an excuse so I continued to ask until I finally gave up. Why would she say something like that and then not honor it? It’s a shame too. I loved her books but totally refuse to read or buy any. I’ve also come across a couple of people in charge of some large sites that also didn’t honor some wins and a few that were dishonest in their contests. It amazes me when that happens. Luckily most are very nice and honest.
Jan Says:
I was snubbed by an author I’ve known for years at the con. At the lit signing no less. She walked up to the author signing beside me and spoke to her, but totally ignored me. I felt sorry for her losing sight of manners, and I won’t buy her debut novel.
Clarisse Says:
Jan, I don’t know you or the other person, but is it at all possible that she did not realize you were there? It was so crowded and some people are quite stressed out by that. It just seems that if you have known this person for any length of time and had previously had a good relationship it might be worth trying to find out what happened. I realize this is none of my business but what you are describing here just sounds so sad.
Jan Says:
She walked past me and up to the other author, Clarisse. I saw her glance at my name on the table and away, so it was a cut direct. (Gee, I can bring that moment to mind when I’m writing my Regency set historical, lol) This author and I had drifted apart with emails the past few years, but that doesn’t excuse her rudeness at the con. A friend calls it baby author syndrome, since this person changed significantly after selling her first novel. Let’s just say I call it something else.
Cindy Kirk Says:
Jan,
Hello!! Can you see me waving wildly? It’s great to see you post….although I’m sorry to hear about your experience with your “former” friend.
Jan Says:
LOL, Cindy, I can see you.
It was great talking with you (and Jenna) at the con. As to the fair-weather friend, she’s part of my past.
Kimberly Logan Says:
I tend to be a backward sort of person, and being in a crowd of people, such as at a writers conference, can be a difficult experience for me. I know there have been people in the past who have come away from meeting me with the impression that I was really stuck-up, when it was just that I am painfully shy to the point that it can be crippling. I also get lost in my thoughts a lot, and when that happens I am honestly completely oblivious to what is going on around me.
I sincerely hope that there aren’t any readers out there who have believed that I have dissed them. I swear it’s not intentional. If I come across that way, it usually means I’m just zoned out.
As for me being dissed, I can’t say that I’ve ever had that happen. At least not with a fellow author. I had an unpublished writer friend many years ago who said some nasty things behind my back that eventually made the rounds back to me, but I can’t say that I’ve ever publically been dissed. Like Cindy said, the romance community is usually a pretty friendly one.
Lacey Says:
It happened to me for the first time this year. Even if she was busy, it still sucked! Otherwise, I have several years of really excellent interactions to hang on. I love my romance authors!