January 26, 2007
Dreaming
Written by RobynDeHart in Jaunty Post
Once upon a time I dared to want something big, I wanted to be a writer. I went to college, got a degree and eventually got a job. And still I had this dream; someday I will be a writer. It wasn’t an arbitrary dream, it was one I was working towards, one I strived for on a daily basis. At first I just talked about it - I met other writers and would-be writers and we talked books and reading and stories and that little writing bug burrowed deeper under my skin. Eventually I started studying it - I bought one craft book after another, I went to conferences, I listened to workshop takes, I found every article on the internet about writing and I printed it out (let me tell you, that’s a lot of paper!). And then I applied what I’d learned - I wrote. For seven years I toiled amidst day jobs that I hated, day jobs that were often so terrible, they’d suck the life and the energy right out of me. The business end of the dream I’d chosen was hard, very hard, there were plenty of days when I was certain I’d never make it, certain I was kidding myself. Afterall, I knew everything there was to know about the craft of writing - that’s not to say I’d mastered it, but had there ever been a test given on craft subjects, I would have aced it! Still, I got one rejection after another. And you know those “good” rejection letters you hear about? The ones they say means you’ve graduated up a level and that you’re getting close? I never really got those. And I never stopped receiving the dreaded form rejections. Maybe I was kidding myself. Dreaming too big. And here I’d quit a career-track job to take a lesser paying, lesser responsibility position so that I could focus on my writing career. What career? Seven years and five books. Surely if I hadn’t gotten it by then, I never would.
I remember in January of 2004, I was ready to quit. In one day I received three rejections, that week a total of six. Then in February I had a conference to attend. I was miserable. What was I doing spending money on a conference, on this dream, when it was never going to happen? I had scheduled an appointment with an agent and an editor and had already received rejections from those very people shortly before the conference. What was the point? Needless to say, I was a bit of a downer on this trip. I was just lost. I’d received revision requests before I left from a high-powered agent, but her suggestions just didn’t feel right to me. The conference turned out okay. I heard some things that lifted my spirits and gave me the will to keep going, at least a little bit longer.
And then in June of that same year, it happened. One day out of nowhere, my cell phone rang. It was noonish and I was on my lunch break, visiting with my mom and I glanced at the phone to see who was calling. Area code 212….um, that’s NYC! So I cautiously answered the phone and then the rest of the day is a bit of a blur. All I know was that the dream I’d been chasing for seven long (and sometimes painful years) had happened and not just in a kinda way, where I had a book deal. No, I sold to my dream publisher, the house I thought was somewhere I might end up after a few years of publishing, never right out of the gate, but there they were. Avon calling. (HA!) I was an Avon lady. How did that happen?
Let me tell you a few things about my situation when I sold…
-the historical market was dead (even publisher professionals had been saying it)
-I was unagented, despite years of trying to get one, I just couldn’t get an agent willing to go out on a limb for an unknown historical author
-I had won ZERO contests. In fact, the year I sold was the first year I entered the Golden Heart and I did terribly.
-I sold a historical that wasn’t a Regency. Granted Victorian feels somewhat like a Regency, but there are significant differences.
-My first heroine was more than a little chubby and she stays that way and it’s a big part of the book
So why am I telling you all of this? Primarily because I don’t think people have the courage to dream big anymore. I was fortunate enough to have the kinds of parents who nutured my dreams and never once questioned my goals, not everyone is as fortunate. Some people have parents or sisters or husbands or children who don’t support them. It’s not always out of meanness, but can just be out of fear or caution. But don’t let people stop you from dreaming. It’s powerful, it’s courageous and it’s contagious, it breeds optimism and determination and discipline. So don’t be afraid to dream, it’s good for you and the people around you.
You know what? I’m still dreaming. So what’s your big dream?
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Shana Says:
Thanks for sharing that blog today, Robyn! I needed a bit of a boost.
Lois Says:
Oh me, since I was five I wanted to be an astronaut. I’m 30 and still do.
Lois
Danny Says:
I have to big dreams. First to leave Germany and to live in the US, second to finish my book sometime.
Helen Sibbritt Says:
I for one am so glad you held to your dreams because I love your stories I have them all and really loved them. I don’t aspire to be an author but I dream to retire so as I have more time to read all the books that you all write. I have always encouraged my children to to go for what they want in life because I firmly believe that if you really want to do something it might take time but you will get there if you hold true to your dreams.
Have Fun
Helen
Kathryn S Says:
Robyn, I too was unagented when I sold. I hadn’t entered any contests and my heroine was foreign. It boils down to something I’ve started to believe when it comes to this business. There are rules yes, but if you can make the book work, then it will get bought — different or not.
Clarisse Says:
Robyn, thank you for sharing a wonderful story. I sometimes wonder how many truly talented writers there are out there that we will never get to read because self-doubt and well-meaning but unsupportive friends and family led them to give up just a little too soon. You had a dream and you didn’t give up on it and now we all get to enjoy the happy result of your persistence. Now that’s a story with the hard won happy ending that we all love. I’d like to think that someone is reading this post today and it is giving them the hope to keep going just a little longer. I know it certainly inspired me today.
Robyn DeHart Says:
Clarisse, well, I hope it was inspiring for someone. I wasn’t too sure it was all that coherent, I sort of felt like I was rambling.
Helen, you’re so sweet. Thank you!
Shana, glad I could help.
Lois, reach for those stars, my dear!
Thanks to all for sharing your dreams.
Rainy Says:
Robyn,
Well, of course I am reading this a day after post time, but good words never go stale. Thanks, for this blog. You don’t know how much I needed it. Years and years and years ago, while I was running a bed and breakfast in Vemont, one of my guests were talking about ambitions/goals and how we never seemed to reach them. Well, we said we would give ourselves five years to accomplish it. Sounded good. I never heard from him again so I don’t know his story. I do know that for a while I worked hard at honing my craft. I actually had an agent and a book that was circulating publishers. Many rejections and then me and my writing seemed to fall of the face of the earth. Dabbled her and there, but no motivation.
This blog has reminded me that writing was a passion and a dream, but one I allowed to become buried. I feel a stirring inside me that I’ve got to listen to and start acting on.
Thanks for the great words, Robyn.
Robyn DeHart Says:
Rainy, oh, I’m so glad you found my words helpful. Good luck with that dream of yours.