September 29, 2006
Swearing
Written by Shana in Jaunty Post
Someone (a Brit) told me recently that the British swear more than Yanks. But I think we Americans swear a lot! When I was a teacher and told my students they could only use words in their stories that were on regular TV, I was shocked to see them using the B words. Yes, words…think about it—got them?
Apparently I wasn’t watching enough TV (silly me, spending all my time planning lessons and grading at night!). I couldn’t believe those words were allowed on regular TV.
I’m not a big fan of profanity, but I’ve used it in my books, and I believe it has its place in entertainment. Would a mob boss be very believable if he spoke like a priest?
But I don’t talk like that. I only swear when I get upset or mad. Probably because those are the times my brain shuts down and my vocabulary with it. But generally I can always think of a more effective word than a 4-letter one.
What about you? Do you swear a lot? Do Brits swear more than Americans? Who swears the most?
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Haven Rich Says:
Shana, I can’t honestly answer the Us vs Brits question. I’ve heard that they cuss up a storm…but who knows.
Now do I swear, sometimes but typically I use my favorite “other” words, such as holy crackers. And if things get really bad, its holy crackers with bad eggs. I started this when my 1 and 1/2 year old daughter told me to F*ck you. Since then, I use other slang to express my anger..and happy to report that my now 14 y/o daughter will from time to time only say sh*t lol. Which she turns a really deep shade of red that is deeper than Teresa M.’s latest cover haha.
So take those eggs and fry them! (btw that’s not a good thing lol)
AndreaW Says:
I do not curse. I used to (before kids), but now the worse things that I say are, “Oh, poop!” or “Holy shrimp!” (which is from SpongeBob) and the like. When I used to work full-time, my co-workers used to laugh at me when they would hear “Oh, poop!”. LOL!
I’ve always felt that it is of the utmost importance for me to set a good example for my kids. In fact, in our house the word ’stupid’ is a bad word and when we hear it on TV, my son will look at me and say, “Mommy, that’s not nice.”
Of course, when he’s a teenager… *shiver*
Margo Maguire Says:
I once heard a speech about the changing “norm.” Think about what was acceptable (or, “the norm”) when you were in school, and you’ll see that things are REALLY different now - from fashion, to music, to language …
A lot of 4-letter words have come into “normal” everyday usage. And this is reinforced by the constant use of these words on TV and the movies. So is behavior - so, although one episode of a TV show might not influence a kid’s thinking on what’s acceptable behavior, it’s the repeated exposure to the morés that changes the viewer’s attitudes.
Single parenthood?
Mistreatment of women?
Ridiculing the ‘dork’?
Getting high?
The more often you see it, the sooner it becomes “the norm” and you never think twice about it again.
Isabel Says:
I swear every now and then and usually in the presence of the DH or really close friends. Never at work in front of co-workers much less clients, never in front of my mother or elders and NEVER in front of my parrot, E.B..
Not that I’m proud of swearing but sometimes a specific/bad situations require stronger words than “this sucks tomatoes” or “moron”. I don’t watch tv that much these days probably get in two hours total of tv a week if that. But I notice the free use of the “b” word or “jack@$$” on TV and music which growing up I’d have my mouth soaking in comet if I ever even thought of saying those words. I shudder when I hear kids using swear words and in combinations I never knew were possible. Where are they learning these things?
Shana Says:
I hate it when people swear in front of children. And it makes me uncomfortable when people do so in front of their parents or grandparents. It seems disrespectful.
And I’m with you, Andrea. I wasn’t allowed to say “stupid” or “shut up,” when I was growing up. I didn’t allow the kids in my classroom to talk like that either. If I have kids, I don’t intend to allow them to speak that way, but like Margo said, the norms are changing. I don’t know how those of you with kids deal with that, short of throwing out the TV. I know it has to be tough.
Robyn DeHart Says:
I swear the most in the car, even though I try not to swear at all. But other drivers seem to bring it out in me - evef if I’m not the one driving. I don’t often find it distracting in movies or TV, I guess I’m used to it. But I’ve never liked it in books. I do use some words on occassion, but the more crass words don’t have a place in my books. I find it really jarring and distracting as a reader, not sure why it’s more offensive to me in the written form vs. visual.
Kimber Says:
I grew up in New York and have a pretty foul mouth at the best of times. It’s a good thing I don’t have kids, actually, because they’d probably end up being the ones who teach all the other kids at school how to curse. I think I picked up cursing the way I picked up a lot of vocabulary — because it can be effective and attention getting. Unfortunately, now I do without being aware of it.
In books, I find that a judicious “fuck,” especially in historical romance or fantasy books, can provide an edginess or element of realism that cuts to the heart of things.
As to the Brits cursing more than us, there are some vernaculars that are chock-a-block with effing and blinding, as they say. I was staying in a youth hostel once with two Welsh guys and literally every other word out of their mouths was “fuck” or “fucking.” And let’s not forget the Australians, for whom the word “cunt” is tossed off casually in conversation as a synonym for “guy.” Of course, I’m talking about working-class people for the most part.
Lacey Kaye Says:
HOLY %*$#! I won FanLit!
LOL. I have no idea about other cultures, but I know *I* uh, “hear” a lot of profanity around me everyday. Er, something like that
And I can’t imagine how I knew Shirley would like pirate rap. Hehe.
Shana Says:
Lacey! Huge congrats! I had just clicked over to Fanlit and saw that you won. I was like, I know her! Jaunties, we have a celebrity in our midst! Happy Friday, Lacey! I’m so happy for you!
Anne Mallory Says:
Holy @#(%*%! Congratulations, Lacey!!! That’s awesome!
Anne Mallory Says:
I tailor my swearing to the company I’m in.
I can swear like a sailor. But I reserve it for people who do the same.
I have friends that don’t like swearing, so I consciously monitor myself. Also with my family. A few minor swear words are no problem. But the bigger ones, yeah, not so much. 
Sometimes when I leave from visiting people who dislike swearing, I’ll let a string of them loose in the car and then sit back and say, “Ah, I feel better now.”
But that’s really only because I’ve kept it on the conscious level. If I had to refrain from saying sandwich for any length of time, I’d probably go somewhere and shout “sandwich, sandwich, sandwich!” a few times. LOL.
British cussers - I find them hilarious. All of the slang in that accent can keep me in stitches for hours.
The rest of you are the good girls.
Shirley Karr Says:
Congrats, Lacey! That’s so cool!
Re: British cussers — One of my favorites is Hugh Grant in “Four Weddings and A Funeral.” Normally I find the “F” word offensive and harsh, but his delivery and variations on the theme were hilarious.
I used to think people who swear were just being lazy, stupid or unimaginative (especially those who stick with the common swear words), but I’ve had to re-think that theory. It is a matter of what you’re accustomed to, what the norm is for your environment. “Bugger” seems like a mild expletive to Yanks, but if you go to the original meaning of the word, it’s not so mild. Same thing with “wanker,” which also sounds charming with a Brit accent.
I try to limit my own cussing, but sometimes nothing else works like a well-timed and heartfelt “Sh*t!”
I’ve been studying sea chanteys and sailor songs, and have gained new respect for the phrase ’swear like a sailor.’ Those old salts could be really imaginative.
Kimberly Logan Says:
I don’t swear much and never have, even as a teenager, though my siblings could curse up a blue streak when the occasion called for it. The bad thing about that is that now when I DO spout the occasional swear word, everyone looks at me like I shot someone. Geez, let everyone else have a potty-mouth, but if Kim says a swear word it’s time to gasp and point. Sigh… It’s such a curse, being the good one.
Now, when I’ve really been into the Playstation with the kids, I’ve been known to crack a “Holy Toledo” or a “Freaky Friday.” They think that’s pretty hilarious, but I’ve noticed that my nephews have picked up on the Holy Toledo. I guess that’s better than what they could be saying.
Kimberly Logan Says:
Ooops. And I meant to say congratulations, Lacey! What fabulous news.
Lacey Kaye Says:
Thanks everyone!
I’m definitely with Anne on this one. I tailor my color to who’s around, and will swear a nice tidy streak when I get back into the car. But then Anne and I also like hard music. Maybe we have some closet agnst!
Robyn DeHart Says:
Oh, I use British swears all the time. Bugger is my absolute favorite. I even forget to censor myself on these b/c most Americans don’t realize they’re real curse words.
LACEY!!!! You’re so awesome. I hope you celebrate.
Rainy Says:
Congrats, Lacey!
Margo, I agree that the norms have changed and guards have been left down. In early TV, you couldn’t hint at sex (like twin beds for Lucy and Desi. But now…anyone catch a glimpse at soaps for some Afternoon Delight? And on later on, they used to save the racier stuff till maybe 10pm, but I’ve seen hair curling talk and situations often at 9pm, sometimes earlier (and cable is another subject). But like Margo, said, what is more worrisome is what is shown as normal which is far worse than a few swear words.
I don’t swear (nobody counts what happens in the privacy of their cars when somebody cuts you off, right????) I don’t particularly like to hear swearing, but truthfully, it’s not the worse thing in the world and perhaps we are overly concerned with it. It’s racist words or words that dismiss or put down others than we should worry about. What is a swear anyway?
The Brits use “bloody” a lot which is considered back over there, but we think nothing of it here. In some ways, it’s all silly.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to #@^&*!@# rave about this.
Shana Says:
Rainy, rave away! If no one says anything, then how can anything change? I think it’s really important to speak out for what you believe.