June 21, 2006

Cheating

Cheating

My mind was so blank this morning for something clever to write about, so I’m totally cheating. But in my defense, I’m nearing the end of my proposal and eager to get to writing.

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are you?

Possessing a rare combination of wisdom and humility, while serenely dominating your environment you selflessly use your powers to care for others. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

Which Jane Austen Character are You? (For Females) Long Quiz!!!
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Marianne Dashwood. Most girls can relate with Marianne on a more personal level than some of Austen’s other characters. She represents the emotional longings and struggles that seem to attack and bless us at the same time. Loyal to a fault, passionate for experience and life, and a bit over-emotional, Marianne matures and grows (making her so beloved)

Which Peanuts Character are You?

You are Snoopy!
Take this quiz!

What famous movie kiss are you?

This is the Casablanca kiss! It is forbidden, but the two people are meant to be together, even though they can’t be together. In the end, they do what is right even though it breaks their hearts.
Take this quiz!

Which ones are you?

June 20, 2006

Erotica in Romance

There was a recent post on the Avon Ladies’ bulletin board about the new Avon Red release, Parlor Games, in which the writer said she didn’t care for the ‘crudeness’ in the second story. She wondered if the cruder aspects were due to the male half of the team that wrote the book. (I don’t know the author, but the bio says it’s a male/female writing team, so hey - maybe there’s something to that ).

Obviously, not all erotica is going to appeal to all readers. Some might think that public sex is a turn-off and won’t be able to read any further. Others won’t like sex with more than one partner, and so on … But if you’re reading erotica, you’re pushing the boundaries of sexual tension and love scenes, right? You want more than your basic consummation scene.

So here’s my question … When you’re reading erotica, or more specifically, erotic Romance, is there a line that can’t be crossed? For example, if you’re reading the male POV, wouldn’t you expect him to express things in a more male (i.e., crude) way? Or does this bother you?

I’ll tell you what my turn-off is … It’s pretty much the same thing that bothers me about a more mainstream book: it’s a story whose plot doesn’t hold up and whose characters behave illogically. Just because there’s more explicit sex involved doesn’t mean the characters can be under-developed.

June 19, 2006

New digs

*points at sidebar*

Like ‘em?

Camera Phones

They are everywhere. If you’ve purchased a cell phone in the past year, likely it is a camera phone. They are handy little devils. You can use them if you’ve been in an accident to take pictures of the scene, you can snap a quick shot of something you might otherwise forget, you can get a few candids of your friends any night you are out.

They can also be used for evil. I was just in a bathroom the other day where there was a sign — a SIGN — that said no camera phones or picture taking allowed. Like they needed a sign because the problem was so rampant in their bathrooms.

As to the Cedar Point story I promised last week…I love roller coasters…I’ve been to Cedar Point many, many times and know the rides well…I know where all the slow parts, dips, etc. are…my Dad and I are crazy goofy all day running to coasters and making faces at the coaster cameras…I have a camera phone…

Can you see where this is going?

Our first ride of the day was on the Millennium Force, a 310 foot tall coaster that earns the term kickass. Was I going to use my camera phone on that coaster? No. My hands were way too busy reaching for the sky on that one. But our next few rides were on the Mean Streak, a bumpy-as-you-can-be wooden roller coaster that has a very long uphill and a 3+ minute ride. Was I going to use my camera phone on that? Yes, yes I was. And did. No problems.

Then we get to the Magnum. Still one of the best coasters in the park, though its 205 foot height has been somewhat dwarfed by the Millennium’s first hill. Here’s the key thing though….whereas the upward climb of the Millennium’s 310 feet is very quick, the Magnum’s is a slow crank-crank-crank type of incline. Takes about 20 or 30 seconds to get to the top. Plenty of time for taking a picture, and I love the Magnum. So I bust out my phone as we start up and take a few pictures of myself, my Dad and a friend from our group. Next thing I know we come to a screeching halt near the top. We think we’ve had a small malfunction. No biggie. Hey, maybe we’ll get free tickets if they keep us trapped there long enough. My Mom is on the ground, as we were meeting to go to lunch after the ride, so I turn to wave from about 150 feet up. We were in the back row (best seat!) so it was easy to see. It was also easy to see the park employee who was running, yes, running, up the gazillion stairs to reach us. In complete obliviousness, I think, “Oh, we must have to exit the cars and walk down. That stinks.”

But, no.

The guy reaches our car, again, the last one on the train, and says, huffing and puffing, “Do you have a camera phone?”

Oh, dear.

I still can’t believe they stopped the ride. I’ve never seen that done, never. Believe me, if they said they would stop a ride if a camera was out, mine would have been nowhere in evidence. Heck, a girl in line told me she had taken a picture at the top of the Dragster with hers!!! And that is just craziness. 120 mph in 4 seconds, and up 420 feet? No, no need to worry about me whipping out my beloved camera phone up there. But the Magnum? It’s easy to take a picture and stash it back away. I already had the phone stashed in my zippered pocket before the operator (who was the man running up the hill) stopped us. I’m very careful — almost paranoid about making sure all my pocket zippers are zipped, and everything in its place, so believe me, I’m the last person that is going to drop my phone over the side, but I do understand their concerns for safety, so I’ll be a good girl. In any case, I apologized profusely to the guy when we got off the ride. By the way, kudos to you, operator-guy, for running up those stairs.

If anyone wants to make me feel better with camera phone stories, concerns or foibles, please share.

The evidence…karma=horrible picture of me on the Magnum…the ride operator getting a workout a minute later, I’m there in the back right with the blue shirt…

June 18, 2006

Celebrity

It was October of 1995, and I was in Chicago to do on-site registration for a Freightliner dealer meeting. (I’ve now been a contractor with Freightliner for 14 years.) Much of my work involved registering truck salesmen and dealer principals — the guys with the big bucks who own the dealerships that sell the big trucks — for various sales training programs around the country. This time, however, I had sent out the invitations, tracked the RSVP’s, and made hotel reservations and nametags for over 600 of these men and women from across North America and abroad, not to mention the corporate employees plus VIPs from Freightliner’s parent company, which was then Daimler-Benz. After working with many of them by phone and by mail for three years, I was looking forward to finally meeting them in person at the registration desk.

Midway through the afternoon, when the shuttle buses had just started rolling in from the airport, my boss asked me to assist one of the executives who had just arrived. He had rewritten his speech on the flight over from Germany, and I had the only available laptop and printer in the hotel. The printer was there for last-minute nametag changes, and the attendees were arriving. I gave a last longing look at the crowd approaching the registration desk, handed my attendee list off to a couple of helpers, and went into our little work room with Dieter and his speech.

He stayed with me to help translate. I was unfamiliar with his handwriting, and there had been more than a few bouts of turbulence during his long flight. My boss and her boss kept poking their heads in the doorway as we worked. “Are you all right? Do you need anything?” Every ten minutes, it seemed, the Nervous Twins were back. “How are things going? Everything okay?”

Go away, you paranoid freaks, I silently said after about the fifth such interruption. Dieter and I were getting along just fine. It turned out we had several things in common (we both suffer from dry skin) and shared a similar sense of humor. I had taken four years of German in school (which wasn’t so far back, back then) and he had spent considerable time in the US, so there was no culture shock. And he was brilliant in that he accepted most of my suggested changes. I had no idea who he was, other than an executive from Germany, so I was not intimidated in the least.

Being a writer, naturally I couldn’t just type his speech word for word as he had rewritten it. Though he speaks English well, it is not his first language. I felt it my duty and responsibility to help him clarify what he was trying to get across (and translate some of the corporate-speak) so he could not be misunderstood when he gave his hour-long speech before the assembled audience the next day. (Okay, so I’d have felt the same about about editing anyone’s speech, regardless of who they are or where they’re from. We always want the chance to do one more revision, of any collection of words.)

By the time we’d wrestled every sentence into submission, the bulk of the attendees had arrived and checked in. I’d missed my chance to meet them in person (except for those waiting for me to print their name tags), but took satisfaction from the knowledge that Dieter’s speech would be one of the least boring of the two-day business meeting.

It was only after my boss came to collect the disk and printout of the revised speech for the teleprompter tech that she told me Dieter Zetsche was a Member of the Board of Management of Daimler-Benz. You may be more familiar with him in his current job — Chairman of the Board of Management of DaimlerChrysler AG. That’s right — ten years ago, I helped the head honcho of DaimlerChrysler rewrite his speech.

True, this isn’t as glamorous as going sailing with a prince, like Julianne did. But every time I see Dieter and his walrus mustache in a press conference or news article, I think back on our afternoon rewriting his speech, and smile. (And I’ve handled registration for several more dealer meetings since then, so I did eventually get to meet the people I missed the first time around.)

PS: If you’re lucky enough to still have your father around, give him a big hug (or at least a phone call) today.

June 17, 2006

Writer’s life

When one of my fellow Quills asked what you most like to see us blog about, I think there was something about how we write, our day-to-day experience.

As you might suspect, it’s different for everyone. From the time I started writing, I had–and continue to have–a full time job. So, my goal (which 99% of the time I reach) is to write at least 15 new pages per week, preferably more. This is done over holidays, when I have edits on another book to do and even when I’m on vacation.

I write my new stuff in longhand and then either I –or my wonderful daughter–key it in. Then I print it off and start editing. I add and change on the paper copy, then key in those changes. Then do the same process again all week. I take my current WIP (work-in-progress) with me whereever I go. So if, for example, I’m waiting in the car in a long bank line I can edit my WIP.

Right now I’m about half way done with my second book for Avon (working title “When She Was Good.” (WSWG) I’m loving this story and it’s going real well…but any day now I’m going to have to set it aside.

I’ve agreed to write a book for Harlequin with eleven other authors that will be part of a “continuity” that will be released over 12 months, beginning (I believe) in June 2007. These books will all take place on a cruise ship and I think the common thread will be a missing person. I say think because I haven’t received the “bible” which gives all the particulars. I have to come up with a story about two characters on the ship (I’ll be given their names and some specifics) by August 1 and have the complete book written by November 15.

Once I finish my book for the Continuity, I’ll go back to WSWH, which is due March 2007. So, for me, there’s not much (translation: no) down town. But I enjoy creating new stories and I’m just happy getting paid to do something I love.

So….how was YOUR week?

June 16, 2006

Want Me to Kick His @$%?

If you’ve seen the movie The Break Up, then you probably laughed at the scene where Vince and his friend discuss getting rid of Jen’s supposed new guy. Vince can’t seem to convince his friend that, no, he doesn’t want the guy done in by a hitman.

I recently had my own similar scene. A friend of mine had been dating this guy who seemed so awesome. He really courted her, wined and dined her, and then, when she really liked him, almost out of nowhere just dumped her. When I told Ultimate Sportsfan, his first reaction was, “Do you want me to kick his @$%?”

No, my friend and I didn’t…well, we did a little. Or maybe I wanted the guy to suffer. It seemed so unfair that my friend was suffering, and this jerk of a guy was fine. He caused all this pain, and then didn’t have to suffer any himself. Maybe justice would have been served if the jerk had had his butt kicked. I know violence isn’t the answer, but isn’t there an exception for jerks who break up with your friends?

And what is it in us that makes us feel so protective toward those we love? I was as mad as USF. I hurt for my friend, and if I’d had ex-boyfriend’s phone number, he would have gotten an earful.

But I don’t have his number. All I have is this blog. So here’s the rant…

You stupid %*#@* jerk! I hope you %$#@!*& and %$#&^@, too. So there. Take that, &%$#@!

Feel better? I do

June 15, 2006

Julianne MacLean Comes Clean

Today, Jaunty P Quills, Porcupine Extraordinaire, is sharpening his quills—er, quill for an in-depth interview with the gracious and talented Julianne MacLean.

Welcome, Julianne! We’re so glad that you could join us as an honorary member of the JQ’s for today! First off, we LOVE your books, and we especially enjoyed your most recent release, PORTRAIT OF A LOVER. Of course, it could have been oh so much better with a porcupine hero, but I digress. We’re here to discuss your next book, SURRENDER TO A SCOUNDREL. Tell us a little bit about it. When can we look forward to seeing it on shelves?

Hey everybody!! I’m thrilled to be here, and thanks for the kind words about PORTRAIT OF A LOVER. I loved writing that one. It was one of those rare writing experiences where the story just poured out quite painlessly and smoothly. I wish they were all like that!

About SURRENDER TO A SCOUNDREL – that’s the final book in my American heiress series, and it comes out in January. It revolves around Lord Martin Langon, who was James’s younger brother in TO MARRY THE DUKE. In that book, he was only 17 and he had just been suspended from Eton for having a girl in his room (okay, in his bed), and this book stems from that scandalous event. And no, the heroine in SURRENDER is not the girl in the bed, though that would have been interesting. This story picks up 10 years later when Martin is older and wiser, but his wild past still rears its ugly head and bites him every once in a while. There’s a lot of adventure in this book, so it was great fun to write.

Just what is it about the Victorian period that draws you to set your novels during this era when so many other authors are writing about the popular Regency period?

I enjoy the Regency period, but oh, how I love late-Victorian. I always have, ever since I saw Lillie Langtry on Masterpiece Theatre as a girl. One thing I love about the period is the fact that the pendulum for “fun” was swinging back again at great speed, after a rather dark period mid-century, when Victoria was mourning Albert’s death. As soon as the Prince of Wales grew up, however, and developed a taste for beautiful women and card games (among other things), people were more than ready to have a good time. Oscar Wilde had so many entertaining things to say about life, Lillie Langtry was stirring the pot as a “professional beauty,” and hey, I can’t forget the fashions, because it’s all about the clothes, right? The sleek, form-fitting gowns and bustles… Sigh. And here’s my secret fascination with the period: the underground publications of erotica. Good heavens, there was nothing repressed about that. Folks were chomping at the bit, I tell you.

We also noticed that you’re a Canadian, eh? Is it true that you have to wear parkas all the time? And have you ever been tempted to set one of your books in your home country?

I actually did set a book here on the border of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick during the Colonial period. That was my last book for Harlequin before I came to Avon, and it was called ADAM’S PROMISE. And the parka thing – yes, it’s true. What do you think ma We also wear snowshoes 365 days a year, and my husband’s an ice fisherman. Oh, and he wrestled a grizzly once.

Grizzly wrestling aside, what in your opinion makes a great romance hero? And what would it take to convince you to make a porcupine the hero of your next book? I’ll be glad to pose for the cover, should you find yourself in need of a model…

Oh, um… (Gosh, this is awkward.) I’m sorry, Jaunty, but I really have no control over which models are chosen to be on my covers. But if you’re interested in getting started as a cover model, I would suggest you try to get an agent who specializes in that. Or if you’re up for a good time and don’t mind being oogled (or grabbed), try entering the Mr. Romance Pageant at the Romantic Times convention. I can give you the information if you’d like. Just e-mail me privately through my website.

But to answer your other question: A great hero. Hmmm – I think everybody has their own idea of what makes a great hero, and thank goodness there are enough writers out there to offer some variety. For me, I love a strong alpha type male who also possesses enormous integrity and treats women with respect. I also love a man who is passionate about the great love of his life, and would walk through fire for her. And it helps if he knows his way around the bedroom, even after the lights are out.

What can we expect from Julianne MacLean in the future? Any urge to try another time period or genre?

I once wrote a Silhouette Desire and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I wouldn’t rule out writing another contemporary just to shake things up. But right now, I’m happy writing the historicals, my first love – especially since I just got the green light from my editor to start a whole new series. I’m writing the first book right now, and it’s going swimmingly!

Finally, we hear you like to hang out with Royalty. (Prince Edward!) Know any handsome princes you could introduce the single JQ’s to? (Kim made me ask this one, I swear!)

Hah! Yes, I went sailing with Prince Edward a number of years ago. I was one of about 10 single girls selected to join him on the Bluenose II, a schooner you can see on my website. Too bad he found his bride, because he was absolutely wonderful to talk to, a real gentleman who was very down-to-earth. Cute, too!! I’ll keep the JQ gals in mind if I ever score another date with a prince.

I’m sure Kim will be glad to hear that! Thanks for joining us today, Julianne. It’s been fun.

Thanks for having me, J. Quills!! This is a fun place!

For more information on princes, grizzly-wrestling, and her recent and upcoming books, stop by Julianne’s website. And please feel free to ask her some questions of your own, as she’ll be here throughout the day to answer them. Now, you’ll have to excuse me. I need to look into this Romantic Times convention she mentioned. Mr. Romance 2007, here I come!

June 14, 2006

On the surface of the sun

This week we’re in Texas, visiting my family in my hometown. We drove in on Friday night – after 18.5 (roughly) hours in the car we pulled up to my folk’s house. That is a really long drive. I think we’re breaking it into two days on the way home. I hadn’t forgotten that it’s hot here, but when you’re not living in it, it still takes your breath away when you step outside from being in a nice air-conditioned room. Hot, hot, hot. And it’s June. Yesterday we hit a record here and I could certainly tell. We went for a walk last night at 9ish and it was dark, but still so stinking warm. Despite the intense surface-of-the-sun-like-temperatures, I sure miss it here and being with my family.

We’ve seen two movies this week. Cars - which was really cute. It’s a Disney-Pixar production and it was visually brilliant and the storyline was entertaining. I don’t think it was as good as Monsters, Inc., or Finding Nemo, but it was as good as Toy Story. So if you’re looking for a fun afternoon, you should give it a try. For me, it was the only time Larry, the Cableguy has ever been funny rather than annoying. We also saw The Break-Up. I didn’t have a problem with the ending the way that a lot of people did. And I was glad that both characters grew, that was nice. I think they both did a really good job as far as the acting went. But the arguing scenes were so intense, so real, that it felt too personal to me. Not personal because they’re dating in the real world, but personal like I was sitting in a room and people were fighting in front of me. They made me feel uncomfortable and nervous. There were a handful of funny moments, but not enough to call this a romantic comedy. Sometimes I think they really do a dis-service to themselves with movie trailers. With trailers, they set the tone for what a viewer expects of a film. Like The Family Stone, did anyone see that this past holiday season? The trailers made it look like a comedy, a la While You Were Sleeping or something. There were some funny moments, but The Family Stone is not a comedy, it was a drama that dealt with some pretty weighty stuff – and it wasn’t really about Sarah Jessica Parker’s character either. So like that The Break-Up’s trailer make it look like it’s a romantic comedy and frankly it was neither. I can’t say that I didn’t like it because I thought it was well-made, but I don’t need to see it again.

We can take a lesson from this though for our writing. Tone is huge – it’s a promise to the reader and you have to fulfill that promise or the reader feels cheated. You set tone in your opening scenes and in your synopsis. If you start a book out and it’s a dreary night with a slight wind blowing and owls hooting and a shrouded man hiding behind a building, you’ve set a creepy and more serious tone, so the rest of the book shouldn’t be unbalanced and be hysterically funny. That’s not to say that if you write serious, you can’t have humor and vice versa. Think about the movie Signs. That movie effectively used humor to get the viewer to relax a little and then, BOO! It scared you again. You can do both, you just need to set the tone appropriately to let the reader know where you’ll be taking them.

Well, that’s not exactly where I thought I was going with this post, but there you have it. So in essence, I did not keep true to my tone right now, so feel free to think I’m a moron. Back to the week in Texas… we’re heading back home on Friday and we have all this stuff to bring back with us and we’re not positive that it will all fit in the car. But I’m determined to get it all in there. One such item is my (quite) large collection of Beanie Babies. Y’all remember those? They hit with such a craze in the late 90’s and my mother and sister got me hooked on them and then I got my good friend hooked and we would take our lunch break and hit as many stores as we could find and hunt for the beanies we were missing. It was the thrill of the chase and I don’t even want to think about how much money I spent on this little critters. But I have them now and they’re the perfect size for small hands, so they’ll be great toys for our kids someday. The other thing I want to bring back with me is my keeper shelf. It’s broken into two plastic crates right now and I miss having these books. I probably won’t pick any up to re-read them as I’m not a big re-reader, but I miss having them to look at. We just didn’t think we had any more room on the moving truck and I was already in TN when they packed the up truck. So I want my books. There’s some small pieces of furniture as well, but we’ll see how much our little Matrix can hold.

By the way, watch out for Jaunty, he’s cute, but he likes to hold hands and those little quills really hurt…

June 13, 2006

Hijacked!

This is Jaunty P. Quills, Porcupine Extraordinaire. I’ve managed to hijack Shana’s computer and hack into the Jaunty Quills blog. I must introduce myself before I post my amazing, Pulitzer-prize worthy interview with Julianne MacLean on Thursday. I’ll have to be quick. I think I see Shirley coming. She’s got those Captain Jack Sparrow boots—dangerous to porcupines.

NAME: Jaunty P. Quills, Porcupine Extraordinaire
AGE: 8 months
AGE IN HUMAN YEARS: Like I’m going to tell you.
FAVORITE FOOD: Chocolate covered ants
FAVORITE COLOR: Porcupines look good in gray.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Anything that makes my quills stand on end.
FAVORITE AUTHOR: I’m open to bribes…any takers?
FAVORITE BOOKS: SINS OF THE PORCUPINE, PRIDE AND PORCUPINES, COURTING THE PORCUPINE, KISS FROM A PORCUPINE, THE PORCUPINE’S WICKED WAYS

That’s all for now. Look for me Thursday with the latest from Julianne MacLean!