May 26, 2006
The Sex Scene
Written by Shana in Writers and Writing
One perception of romance writers that I’ve run into is that we sit around all day eating bonbons and writing about sex. “Oh, those are the books with all the sex,” people say when they learn what I write.
This sort of perplexed me until I realized that most of the people who said this hadn’t actually read a romance. I don’t think my books have that much more sex than most books on the NYT list — the books everyone in America is supposedly reading. I think the sex in my books is better, and there’s probably more sexual tension, but I’m writing a book about two people falling in love, not about chasing after a serial killer or a war in a fantasy world. I’m writing about love.
I think many people would be surprised to find that most of my writing time is not spent on sex scenes. I average maybe 3 a book, and if they’re about 10 pages each, that’s only 30 pages of a 360-page book.
But yesterday and today I find that all the sexual tension in my w-i-p has collided, and it’s time to write the sex scene. The first one of this book, which is always the toughest. So, now that I have my characters partially unclothed and somewhat aroused, I need to review my guidelines. That’s right. I have guidelines (see how sexy my life is?).
Shana Galen’s Guidelines for Writing a Sex Scene
1. The scene is about character, not sex.
My goal in a love scene is always to reveal something about the characters in the book. What emotional conflicts are they struggling with? How does this consummation exacerbate or alleviate that internal turmoil?
2. The scene is about love, not lust.
I never want to write a scene that’s insert tab A into slot B (unless it’s for humorous effect). I want the scene steamy but classy. Descriptive but without the ick factor. I want the reader to turn the page with the feeling that this was the coming together of two people in love, not just a random, animalistic mating.
3. Leave the purple prose behind.
You’ve all read funny over-the-top examples of sex scenes that aren’t so sexy because the writer is too flowery in his or her prose. Ultimate Sportsfan (my hubby) likes to make fun of this by joking about “Her mound of love pudding” or “His purple-headed love warrior.” I try to stay away from the flowery prose, but I do think there is a place for euphemism. Some readers want the four letter words all over the page, and some want the more romantic feeling that comes with a softer approach.
4. Consider the point of view.
I try to do this when I write a sex scene. Is it in the hero’s point of view? If so, he is going to use different words and have different reactions than the heroine. There might be a place for a four-letter word in the hero’s point of view. In the heroine’s point of view, especially if she’s a virgin, there’s usually no place for that…which brings me right back to
5. The scene is about character.
Each scene is tailored to the book’s particular characters. To me, that’s what makes it sexy. I like reading a scene where two people I have grown to like express their love to each other. Seeing them happy and together, makes me feel that way—especially if I’ve read 200 pages leading up to this moment.
So what makes a scene sexy to you? I’m writing sex all day today and this weekend. I’ll be checking back for any pointers!
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Lacey Kaye Says:
ROFL. Where’s the comments?
I’m not sure what makes a scene sexy to me. I have noticed in my own work, the scenes are happening outside the bedroom. I guess I have an inner exhibitionist in me
susannac Says:
The tension is crucial. I guess I like it when the majority of the book is foreplay - a lot of sexual consciousness between the main characters. Not necessarily explicit, but pretty constant. One long seduction. Mmmmm.
And I know this is a no-no, but I like switching POV. Not so it feels like a tennis match, but knowing what each is thinking that moves the story forward.
Shana Says:
Susannac, I like it when there’s a switch in POV, too. I can’t do it well, but when an author does, it’s awesome. I’m re-reading Julie Garwood’s The Lion’s Lady, and she’s a master at this. Her transitions are so seamless. Sure wish I could write like that
Lacey, I trhink there are lots of ways to make a sex scene more creative. Moving it outside of the bedroom is a huge plus!
Janelle Says:
I like more unusual positions. If I’m reading about the missionary position, it gets a little old. I remember reading one book that did side-by-side, and another with doggy-style. I definitely like it when the woman takes the initiative. I also like a little bit of reality mixed in for good measure. When I first started reading romance, I hadn’t had sex yet, so when I got around to doing it, I had loads of unrealistic expectations. Now I like it much more when there’s a sort of real feel to the events. I mean, I find all sex scenes to be fun, but when I’m at that critical moment, I’m not thinking about how much I loooooove my husband, I’m saying “onward and upward, James!” or something to that efffect.
Josette Umbertino Says:
Hi
I just came across your website and I really need some suggestions.
I am working on a historical novel.
Its fiction based on a real charactor (My great grandmother) It takes place in 1892 in Milan, Italy. She gets pregnant by a priest and is sent to a convent in Sicily. She is a virgin. I am writing the love scene in the prologue. I am having a problem getting into her head especially at this point. I hope you can give me some idea how to handle this
Shana Says:
Hi Josette,
Do you read romance at all? The best advice for new writers, I think, is always to read what you want to write. Study how other authors handle point of view and POV in sex scenes, in particular. One thing I do is first try to set the stage. What does my character feel? Is she outside? Is there a light breeze? Is the sun shining? Is it dark and rainy? What does she smell? Flowers? Hay? Horse leather? Walk your reader through the scene in your character’s viewpoint. Describe what she sees, hears, tastes. Give us her emotional response as well as the physical.
Hope that helps!
MJ Turner Says:
Hello. I need some help too. Well you see I’ve been writing this book for a while now and the whole time it’s been leading up to the point where my heroine loses her virginity. She’s been kind of saintly about it, you know waiting until the right person. She knows that she likes this guy but it’s been kind of hard for her to admit it. He likes her as well, in fact he’s loved her from afar for a while. They never really say anything to each other until they finally just give in to their feelings.
Here lies the problem. I don’t know if I want to just kind of sexily lead them to the bedroom and leave it to imagination or do I want to tauntingly tell their love scene blow by blow. They both of course are going to be experiencing thoughts that I feel I need to include but I can wait until afterwards to tell them. I just don’t know. Any help would be appreciated.
Shana Says:
Well, MJ, how much detail you include depends on your comfort level and also the publisher you’re targeting. Avon, my publisher, usually wants more explicit scenes. Some lines for Harlequin want sweeter scenes.
I suggest you look at some books by your favorite authors. Read the sex scenes they’ve written a few times. What do those authors do that you like? How explicit are they?
That might give you a good starting point.
MJ Turner Says:
Thanks that helps.