I’ve read a few things lately – articles and blogs – suggesting that writers are supposed to have a life, too. A life beyond the laptop, the desktop, the writing pad.

I’m not sure that’s possible. Or maybe there’s a 12-step plan. Because once you write, you are a writer forever and in every way. It’s almost like an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Before I was published, I used every spare minute to write a few lines, a couple of paragraphs. Every weekend, my husband took the kids ice skating, roller skating, to the movies, to the park, camping … whatever it took to give me a few hours of uninterrupted writing. He was an absolute doll. Plus, he’s always been a natural at handling kids .

Now that I write full time, things haven’t gotten much better.

1. I hardly notice when my house needs cleaning. And with three cats and two dogs living here, that’s fairly often.

2. I forget that I have a family to feed. With summer here, my three kids are all home from college and they have jobs that keep them occupied until dinnertime. My husband has an hour and fifteen minute commute and doesn’t usually get home until 6:30. It just isn’t fair to ask any of them to come up with meals when I’m the one who’s here at the house. It’s just that the thought of a meal doesn’t usually dawn on me before 6 PM! Groceries would be nice, too – although the kids do some of that shopping. Like when there’s no milk and no sign of Mom planning to go to the grocery store.

3. I sort of resent the appointments I need to keep – say, at the hairdresser’s or dentist’s – because they cut into my writing time.

4. In the car, I listen to music that has no words – soundtracks or instrumentals – because I don’t want any lyrics to interfere with the plotting that’s continuously going on in my head. So I don’t know anything about the Top 40, nor do I listen to the news any more.

5. After a day of writing, I’m not really sure I’m done. Maybe I can get just another page or two in before I go to bed.

6. I’m never sure I can spare the time to go on vacation.

Wow – some of these look really bad. But I know there are things I can do to regain some control of my life.

1. Exercise. I take the dogs for a 2-mile walk (minimum) every morning before I sit down to work. It’s good for them and it’s great for me. It clears my head and gets me prepared for the day’s work. For me, this is better than writing ‘morning pages’ which some people like to do. But this way, I get my heart rate up, too!

2. Take time out for meals. Actual meals where I sit down and eat something that’s prepared (well, I mean something I prepared!). That way, I’m not so inclined to graze on ‘bad’ foods all day long.

3. Keep to a schedule. Make a daily or weekly goal and stick to it. I can’t let everybody in my world take advantage of me because I don’t “work.” Guess what? I do work! It’s just not a conventional job with typical hours like I had when I was a nurse. What if I worked from home for IBM? How well would it go over if I didn’t meet my work goals because I had to bake brownies for the church bake sale, or pick up a neighbor’s kids from school. (OK, once in awhile is fine, but don’t let everyone think you have no schedule!)

4. Limit internet time. Email and random searches are counterproductive. They interfere with achieving your daily page goals! Do whatever it takes to wean yourself from your connection. Get one of those Alpha Smarts (or something like it) or take your laptop someplace where there’s no wireless access and do your work. No laptop? Take a pad of paper to Starbuck’s or the library if you like the quiet. You’ll be amazed at how much you can do when you’re not distracted by that WEB connection.

5. Be smart about scheduling deadlines. This is not always 100% possible, but I’ve gotten a lot more careful about determining page goals when there are holidays to consider, and through the summer. We’re having a bit of work done on our house and I know it’s going to be distracting. So I’ve cut myself some slack. Otherwise, I’ll be a psycho by mid-July, frantically trying to meet my deadline. (Before leaving for Atlanta ).

6. Make a point of carving out some quality time with your S.O. – in my case, my husband. He’s a great guy, and very patient. (And luckily, he has plenty of hobbies to keep him occupied, so I never feel like I’m making him wait). Go out on dates. Figure out things to talk about (other than the wip). Do the things together that made you want to stick together in the first place! Do not keep telling yourself you’ll do it later or tomorrow.

7. Take some quality time for yourself. Try to enjoy those trips to the hairdresser’s (maybe not so much those dentist visits ). Get a manicure or pedicure. Go shopping for something fun. (Not groceries!) Throw a party with all the people you neglect most of the time! (And you’ll get your house cleaned at least once this year).

I’m sure there are other things that can help me to have a life, but I’ve got to meet my daily page goal, and looking up at #4 …