Gwyneth just gave birth to little Moses. Katie is planning her…shhh….silent birth. And Angelina is birthing instead of adopting this time around. And there are more. Rachel Weisz, Brooke Shields and Brittany Spears – must be in the water over there. It’s springtime and growth and green and pregnant women are everywhere. Okay, so maybe y’all have just noticed the growth and the green and maybe the later I’m just more aware of them since I’m expecting my first child.

I’m not out of the “danger” zone, so it might be too early to share the news, but I was told once you’ve heard the heartbeat (via ultrasound) then your odds of having a problem have decreased dramatically. We’ve heard it twice now. Yesterday was our 2nd ultrasound and it’s still so tiny, but I think this time in one of the pictures we saw some itty, bitty legs.

For those of you who’ve had children before can sit back and laugh at my miseries, and those of you who haven’t experienced it yet, don’t listen to me – I don’t yet know what I’m talking about.  So far morning sickness has been limited to all-day mild queasiness and a strong reluctance to cook as well as an inability to make decisions for what I want to eat. Add to this all the guidelines of what you’re supposed to eat vs. all the things that are no-nos and it’s enough to make you want to sit in your room and just eat cheerios all day.

So in addition to my eating woes, I’ve been so tired I can’t even comprehend it. The scary thing – I know it will only get worse. I’m ordinarily not a napper, I’m one of those, if-there-are-things-to-do-get-them-done-people, but I can hardly make it through a day without a nap. It makes getting things done very difficult. Right now I’m so far behind on laundry, I’m afraid I’ll never catch up.

In any case, it’s a wonderful and terrifying time and I’m trying to enjoy every minute of it. I know I’m not prepared for the changes to come, both with my body and then in our lives. But whatever those changes are, I have no doubt in my mind that the benefits of motherhood will far outweigh the worry, the stress, the lack of sleep and anything else that comes. *you have my permission to remind me I said this someday when I’m griping about the little critter*

When I first saw the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle, I thought CF was the definitive Mr. Darcy. He was haughty and stand-offish, yet the perfect gentleman. JE was an excellent Elizabeth: smart, pretty and sharp-tongued. Though I’m no afficionado of the era, the settings and the formal etiquette seemed quite true to the book (although I hadn’t read any Jane Austen in years, and my memory of the book had faded).

Then came the more recent version with Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfayden. The cinematography was fabulous and the music … let me just say that I had to upload the soundtrack to my iPod so I wouldn’t wear out the CD. There are a couple of scenes that I really liked: the country assembly when Elizabeth forms her first impressions of Darcy; and the barnyard where Elizabeth sits on a swing, pondering things. Those two scenes added a flavor and substance to the story that [I think] can get lost in the overwhelming formality of the era (or at least, how we view it). Even so, I thought Macfayden’s Darcy was too dark, too sad. And Knightly’s Elizabeth …she just wasn’t quite right.

A month or so after seeing the film, my dh wanted to see it again. Now, I’m not one to see a movie more than once (even if I like it!) but I went along … and I must say that on second viewing, I thought it was much better. Maybe the reason was that my preconceived notion of the way Lizzy and Mr. Darcy should be portrayed had been altered the first time I watched it. I found Lizzy to be much more believable as a young, vibrant girl whereas JE’s portrayal was of a much more circumspect, mature young woman. And Darcy’s darkness this time did not seem so overpowering. It seemed less sad, but more serious.

I just read the book again and I think both versions captured the original story and the main characters, but in different ways. The A&E version had a lot more time to develop characters and relationships, and the newer version managed to get quite a bit of that condensed into a mere two hours.

But something puzzles me. Why does every version present Lizzy’s mother as being merely a silly, empty-headed fool? She was much more malevolent in the book. And Mr. Bennet wasn’t merely eccentric – he was also more of a fool than either movie portrayed him.

Oh well, nobody’s perfect . Since my dh bought copies of each film, I can enjoy either one – if I ever sit down to watch a repeat again.

A while back I wrote an article on doing exercises to alleviate the strain of sitting in front of a computer. Goodness knows that I spend the majority of my day staring at the screen in front of me. If you are reading this blog, there is probably a good chance that you like to spend quality time in front of a computer too. Do you have a favorite deskercise? Or are you one of the lucky ones that doesn’t start to cramp up after an all day marathon of Internet fun?

For me there is nothing like a few good jumping jacks. Or dancing. Yes, there is a very good reason I do not own a web cam.

They say a good critique partner is worth her weight in chocolate. I am blessed to have three such partners worthy of Cadbury and Godiva.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been going through the comments these three women have made on my new manuscript, revising to clarify and tighten the narrative, and add emotion (otherwise known as the dreaded e-word). My first drafts are heavy on dialogue and tend to be light on emotion. I figure, can’t you tell what’s going on by what they say? But since there are no visual clues such as body language and facial expressions included in a book unless the author actually describes them in words, the reader can interpret dialogue in ways other than the author intended.

In the nine years our group has been together, we’ve developed a form of shorthand, and right now I can’t tell you how sick I am of seeing MOE, MOST, and MOM scribbled all over my chapters. See, rather than writing, “And how does she feeeeel about that?” we just write MOE, which stands for Missed Opportunity: Emotion. We use “missed opportunity” any time we think the writer didn’t include enough of something or omitted it altogether. ST stands for sexual tension (it’s a romance, stupid), and the other M is for motivation. You must admit, MOM is much more efficient than having to write “Why the ___ did she do that? Your character is brainless and illogical. Is that on purpose?” (One of the side benefits of having been together so long is that we no longer have to be tactful. And that only works because we have implicit trust that every comment is made with the intention of improving the story.)

Other shorthand we often use, especially when plotting new stories, include BM (black moment, to describe the scene where all seems lost and there’s no way these two lovers can possibly live happily ever after together), BS (back story, often used to note when large chunks of the character’s personal history have been dropped in unnecessarily, slowing the pacing), and my personal favorite, PCH (post-coital horror). PCH happens because a love scene tends to release all the tension in a story, and most love scenes happen long before the end of the book. No tension = no conflict = no reason to keep reading. Most authors raise the tension again by putting the hero and heroine in conflict again soon — if not immediately — after the love scene. We’re also careful to avoid TSTL moments (wherein the character is Too Stupid To Live).

Sometimes we write “insert 2×4 here” when the author has been too subtle and should have hit the reader over the head with a plank of wood. The opposite is AYKB, which stands for “As you know, Bob…” used when the author didn’t need to use a stout plank of wood. (“As you know, Bob, we’ve had a really tough time ever since our parents died in a car crash when you were eight and I was six.”) Sorry, don’t remember why we pick on Bob instead of Dave or George or…

So there you have it — more insight into the glamorous life of a romance novelist. Acronyms and revisions. And this is just the first round! There will be more after my editor gets a whack at it, er, offers her suggestions for improvement.

PS: more good news on the contest front — found out on Wednesday that What An Earl Wants won the Laurie for Best Historical. I didn’t even know I was a finalist, so it came as a complete surprise.

PPS: Okay, so as I fell asleep I remembered that I did get a call back in January alerting me to the finalist status. Guess I just set aside that nugget of good news to concetrate on finishing this book. What was that post a few days ago about needing a vacation…?

Looks like we already know who’d like to get up close and personal with SEP.

But what about you? The authors on this blog have been talking about inviting other writers to be guest bloggers. If you could choose to get Up Close and Personal with a writer, who would it be? And why?

Let me know…they may end up as a guest blogger…because I may just invite them.

Small crocodile I saw on my honeymoon in Costa Rica

I’m stealing this title from an article a friend of mine wrote a few years ago after her first RWA national conference. She was a facilitator for a workshop where Susan Elizabeth Phillips and Jayne Ann Krentz spoke, and afterward, my friend wrote about how amazing it was to meet one of her favorite authors.

I have never met my favorite author. Julie Garwood is a bit harder to find as compared to Nora Roberts or SEP (by the way, I have pictures of me and Nora and me and SEP framed and on display in my home—scary, isn’t it?). I have only seen Ms. Garwood once in person. That was in 2004, when she was a presenter at the RWA awards ceremony. Kimberly and I were Golden Heart finalists (remember that, Kim? She remembers. She won!), but after the awards, all I could think about was finding Julie Garwood and meeting her.

Well, I never found her, and I still haven’t met her.

Another of my idols is Susan Elizabeth Phillips. I have met Ms. Phillips. Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve formally met her. We’ve exchanged hellos in the hallway or smiled at each other at the Avon dinner, but I’m pretty sure if I walked up to her and said hello, she would have no idea who I was.

But I really do want to meet her. And the stupid thing is that I could meet her because, if nothing else, we will be having dinner together on a Friday night in July. But I’ve had dinner with her twice now and have not made a move. I bet if I had dinner with Julie Garwood, I wouldn’t speak either. (Oh, and just a note, these aren’t little intimate dinners. It’s all the Avon authors together.)

Okay, so this year I sort of want to make sure that I actually speak to SEP. I have several ideas.

1) Ask the Avon publicist (who coordinates the dinner) to put me at a table with SEP—but not to tell SEP—so that I can be oh so nonchalant about meeting her.

But this might not work because I think SEP is usually at the table with Julia Quinn and Eloisa James and the important people like that, so I may not be worthy enough to sit there. And if I did sit there, would I even be able to eat anything? I’d be so nervous!

2) Just go up to Ms. Phillips, introduce myself and say…

This is where I need your help. What should I say? I don’t want to gush, but I don’t want to stand there awkwardly. How do I go up, make a good impression, say something, and then not linger too much?

And if I meet Ms. Garwood, I want to do the same. Any suggestions?

Help!

Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to break out the tanning lotion and sunglasses, grab the tote bag full of books, and head for the beach, the pool, a deserted isle…

Okay, cue reality. For most of us, your daydreams are probably about as close as you’ll get to the above scenario. But it’s a nice image, isn’t it? My Spring Break was last week, and I spent most of the time doing the same things I normally do. Writing being number one at the top of that list. (Though I did spend a little time with my niece and nephews, who were off from school.) It was awfully gray and stormy around here, so no pool or sunbathing for me. My dream trip would have been a foray to Disney World, but alas it was not to be.

So, what did you do for your Spring Break? Or maybe you haven’t had yours yet and you have big plans. Please fill us in, for those who have to live vicariously. At this point, I’d even love to hear about someone’s fantasy vacation! Where would you go if you could?

Not all good stories need bad guys, but sometimes they offer so much entertainment. There are the sly, methodical villains – the ones that fly right under the radar. And the over-the-top maniacal villains – the ones that immediately make their presence known. And there are the ones, the oh-so-bad ones that you love to hate. So many to choose from.

I can’t really delve into all of them and frankly I’m not quite sure I’m qualified to do that. But I wanted to mention three that you might be familiar with mainly because one of them is currently driving me batty. Any Survivor fans out there? If so, then you know where I’m going with this. Shane.
Creepy, annoying, and often crazy Shane. I do find it admirable that he seems to be crazy about his son, but the rest of his erratic behavior leaves me scratching my head. There have been so many almost voting in him off and I get really excited, but it never seems to happen. There’s always one in every Survivor season and he’s it this season. And he’s really bad, but he’s not quite as bad as the one, who in my opinion, was the very worst reality TV personality EVER.

That’s right. Johnny Fairplay. Was there ever a more evil television personality? I’m sure he’s a lovely person in real life (okay, I’m not really sure about that at all, but I’m sure he has one or two good qualities) but on the show he made me so irate I wanted to jump through the TV screen and strangle him. He was so manipulative and so…so, icky. Just watching him could send me into fits and cause me to actually yell at the TV – something I generally make fun of other people doing. The infamous dead-grandmother trick he played was just so low. Still if I see him on something, he can raise my blood pressure.

So that’s television villains. Yes, from the same show. I suppose being on that island eating only rice and bugs can make some people crazy and mean. But my all-time favorite villain is one from a movie. And no, it’s not Hannibal Lector, although he was brilliant (in both the book and in Anthony Hopkins portrayal). But that’s not my favorite. Nope, my favorite came in the form of a nasty English aristocrat in the 1995 (sorely overlooked) movie, Rob Roy (AKA the other Scottish movie). Tim Roth played Archibald Cunningham and he was mesmerizing. So nasty and horrible that he just made your skin crawl. It was a brilliant performance, one I thought deserved an Oscar nod, but as I mentioned this movie was overlooked. Came out the same time as Braveheart. If you haven’t seen this movie, do yourself a favor and rent it. Not only is the deliciously evil Tim Roth in it, but it is a marvelous love story and Jessica Lang is breathtaking.

I think for the most part my villains tend to be a bit over-the-top, but apparently that’s what I like when it comes to the bad guys. The ones that are a little too evil, too crazy, too diabolical.

Yesterday, I mentioned my two cats, Bob and Kokomo … I forgot to mention that when my daughter graduated from college and moved home, she brought her kitty, Louie. He rules the second floor of the house, although our other two cats go up there to visit him every now and then. There’s a lot of hissing and running around, but nobody’s been hurt. Yet.

But let me tell you about the pooches in the Maguire household.
We had Sanders, an elderly miniature Schnauzer, and Nick, our black Lab. Sanders was not too happy about having to put up with all the puppy nonsense when 6 week-old Nick joined the household so poor Nick missed out on a lot of wrestling and crazy puppy stuff. Sanders turned up his nose at the mere idea of playtime. He was an old fuddy from the time we rescued him at age 4, and he never changed (although he loved me and spent as much time as possible beside my chair or on my lap.

Sanders would have been 16 this month, but we had to put him down last October, only a few weeks after my mom died and my youngest son moved away to college. Nick (then 4 1/2 years old and about 90 lbs) moped around for a couple of weeks, even though he and Sanders never really played together … and I won’t even say what my state of mind was.

My dear husband decided things were too quiet in the house. He contacted the breeder who had given us Nick and asked for a yellow Lab pup. Soon thereafter, Ranger arrived on the scene. He was 3 months old, and full of trouble. Nick’s nose was out of joint for about 3 days and he would have nothing to do with the puppy. Then all of a sudden, the two were bosom buddies and there was a lot of puppy play going on in the yard, in the house … Whenever Ranger felt the urge to wrestle, Nick was game. (It’s like Clash of the Titans when they go at it in my family room!)

Now, Nick was always an extremely exuberant dog, and it was murder to get him trained not to jump up on people, beg for food, or go crazy when the leash came out. Now that we have Ranger, all those puppy behaviors are back times two, and Ranger is getting to be a big dog. He’s 60 lbs now. I feel outnumbered. When someone comes into the house, Ranger goes wild, which makes Nick think he’s supposed to do the same thing. Getting two big Labs to settle down is not the easiest thing in the world. Also, Ranger likes to chew on things – the window sills! the hardwood steps!! a hunk of plaster from the basement wall!!! books in the bookcase!!!!

Needless to say, this cannot go on. We’ve worked and worked with him, and he knows what behaviors are unacceptable – because he never does them when we’re around. He’s like a wily coyote. So we had to resort to one of those shock collars. My dh shocked him only once, and now it only takes the warning beep to make him stop whatever he was doing. We’ve only had the collar for a couple of days, so I don’t know yet how well it’ll work. Time will tell …

I’m going to try to post a picture of my two bad boys. If it doesn’t work, I’ll have it up on my website one of these days

My cat Bob is a smart cat. He chirps back when I talk to him, herds me where he wants me to go and generally seems to know what is going on around him. So what, I ask, is his fascination with eating things that are not food?

“Ooh, ooh, a rubber band! Nice and squishy. Wow, an eraser! Rubbery in my tummery. Crunch, crunch – just two hundred more chews, and this pen is mine! Then I’ll finish it off with a drink from that nice big white porcelain contraption.”

Sure, he herds me to their food bowls every morning, chattering all the way, intent on getting a daily dollop of wet catfood. But that doesn’t seem to stop non-catfood consumption, much to my eternal dismay and overzealous need to keep all cat-swallowable objects off the tables and floors. I keep waiting for him to realize a dust bunny appetite. That would be quite useful.

For odd sleeping habits, please see feet above.

Pounce’s thoughts on the other hand (at left), seem to consist of, “leaf! plant! flower! clump of tasty fur!” Or, “warm lap! sunny spot!” A bit more catlike, but he has been known to lick an emery board clean and polish the back of a phone handle. No, I don’t know why either.

What are some of the more curious traits that your cat, dog, ferret, fish, *insert animal here*, possesses?