February 27, 2006
That guy
Written by Anne Mallory in Jaunty PostOk. Who here goes to the gym? Or the pool? Or anywhere where there is more than one person duking it out for machines, lane space, sidewalks, ice time, you name it. Hey, and shopping lines count too.
What do you do about “that guy?” You know, the one who doesn’t have the first inkling or doesn’t care about *insert your activity* etiquette? The one that blithely pushes his way, takes your patiently waited upon item, or gets in front when you have the clear right of way? What do you do? Seethe internally, mutter to yourself, politely tap him on the shoulder, push back, kindly rearrange his front teeth?
Sure, “that guy” could be “that girl,” I’m just going to refer to “that guy” because the men seem to dominate the misuse of pool etiquette in my experience. Women are much more likely to give way and be aware/sensitive.
We have been swimming for the last two months on the average of three times a week. And at least one of those times each week IT happens. The rec swim lanes are clearly marked - slow, medium, fast - and some blank expressioned guy (there are many, many of them, this is not just a rant about one person) who is clearly a slower swimmer gets into a faster lane. Not only can’t this guy read, but he also is somehow able to swim without sight or feeling. Six swimmers up his rear? He ain’t stopping. Just try to get him to let you go by. He’ll break your left cheekbone as he turns on the wall and pushes off again right into the middle of the lane. Side swimming? Bah, he says, overrated, it is. He will swim down the middle. With paddles. And a wide stroke meant for maiming. And if he’s feeling generous, maybe he won’t kick your guts in with his seven foot leg-spanned breastroke as he swims down the middle. There’s a faster swimmer coming into the wall to do a flip? Well, that’s just the perfect time for him to push off the wall to start his lap. It’s like someone who is driving 25 and decides to change lanes right in front of the car doing 40. “That guy” will make sure to do this no less than five times in a half-hour span. Someone tapped his foot? They must be offering a massage! He will keep going, no matter what, so that they can continue touching his disease-ridden digits.
Now that we are starting to swim 4-5 days a week, this phenomenon has only increased. And I seem to be a magnet. We can have a lane of two while EVERY other lane only has one swimmer each, and we will get a third person before those others, even the ones on either side, get two. And of course, it’s usually someone with “that guy” written all over his trunks.
ARGH! It’s not the speed that matters. We can all get along no matter what our speeds. We just have to pay attention and show some courtesy to each other!
So, what do you do when this happens to you? I need a strategy to a) keep my sanity and b) keep my karma from not going in the red (see: immediate karmic backlash for flipping off swimmer underwater — karma barely needs to lend a hand, I always make sure I’m punished immediately, usually by doing something like accidentally smacking the lane line…damn subconscious).
Unfortunately swimming does not lend itself to talking too often…the whole mouth and ears under water thing, you know? So reasoning and light hearted comments usually aren’t possibilities. Hence the tapping, passing, flip turn splashing passive-aggressive to aggressive types of responses. “Let it go” is the best advice, of course. It’s just hard to do in a 25-yard pool where you are on top of each other if the lane occupants aren’t on the same page, and sometimes in a 50-meter pool it’s just as bad. I need to go to my Happy Place. But sometimes while in a lane with “that guy” the Happy Place looks like the corrupt one in Happy Gilmore with the Gene Simmons impersonator.
Help.
On the bright side, most of the time practice is a good experience (not counting the huffing, puffing, muscle roughing). And sometimes we get brilliant lane partners. A few days ago we had little angels singing over the top. Everything clicked together and three of us swam the same large set while the fourth (who was faster) was interval timed perfectly with us. Symbiosis at its best. Great lane mates are always good for a smile and an awesome practice. And they help the brain to forget about “that guy” for a little while. 
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Shana Says:
Oh, Anne, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I used to be a dedicated runner, and this kind of thing happens on the track, too. So frustrating! I don’t like confrontation much, but I will do it if I think the person is intentionally being rude. I trey to be really polite about it, but it can be hard when you’re really mad. This is a great topic. I need advice on this, too.
Rose B Says:
I feel your pain Anne! I am in Shanghai, China and in a city of 20 million, there’s no such thing as personal space. It is acceptable here to cut in line, hog the sidewalk, etc. What is unacceptable here is angry confrontations in public. If someone pushes you and cuts in front, if you don’t want to stand in the same spot forever while the line moves forward, push back.
That did happen to me last week while we were getting our physicals for our visas. I had been waiting for 10 minutes for one of the rooms to open up, and as soon as it did on gal walked up and said, “Oh good, it’s open!” Knowing how it is here I quickly stood up and just gave her a cheerful smile as I slipped past. I don’t even know what her reaction was, it was my turn and that was that.
I hope you can find a solution to your problem because things like that can certainly take all the fun out of things.