January 27, 2006
Putting Yourself Out There, Part Deux
Written by Shana in Writers and WritingFirst of all, I want to say that after all my whining last week, I did finish the book. I wrote THE END on Sunday afternoon. Of course, the ironic thing is that that’s not really the end. I still have to revise the draft myself, do revisions set by my editor, copyedits, page proofs…
The book is far from done, and yet I feel a great weight is off my shoulders.
The problem is that the weight comes back. In case you haven’t been following along, my new book PRIDE AND PETTICOATS comes out in 4 days (so does Shirley’s A KISS FROM A ROGUE, so I bet she can relate). In light of that approaching event, I read Kim’s post yesterday and vigorously nodded my head.
Worse than putting yourself out there to agents and editors is putting yourself out there to the public. Reviewers, readers, your mom and dad. The book you felt great about when you typed THE END, suddenly feels much less than great about three weeks before it drops. Suddenly, it seems like the worst book ever written.
I bite my nails waiting for the reviews. Are they going to expose me? Will the reviewer tell everyone how bad the book is? If I get a good review, I don’t feel better. I feel like I pulled one over on them. And if I get a bad review, I beat myself up. Some writers get mad at reviewers and shout that all the criticisms were wrong. I take them all to heart and want to write letters apologizing for not being perfect.
But none of us are perfect, and when you put yourself in the public eye, you get reminded of that a lot and very publicly. Readers write in to tell you how you messed up this detail or should have written the book such-and-such way. Friends couldn’t finish the book because they “didn’t have time,” which, by the way, we authors take to mean “it was boring.”
Do I sound a little insecure? I think it’s a trait most writers share. No one is immune to it. After all the criticism we have to take, we can be a bit sensitive. Look at Nora Roberts. Yesterday she got sick of all the inane speculation at AAR about her photo on the Eve Dallas books and fired back (http://www.hwforums.com/2035/index.html).
Ms. Roberts isn’t known for doing that. I know she’s had her share of criticism and has put up with it nobly. But even top authors have feelings. I remember a few months ago when Anne Rice defended her work on Amazon. She was fed up, and I can’t blame her. It’s hard to put yourself out there. As hard for the big authors as for us little fish.
So I’m right there with you, Kim, cringing at those “American Idol” auditions. And I’m also proud of those people for giving it a shot. And I’m proud of Anne Rice and Nora Roberts for standing up for their work. How many millions of us never would?
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Robyn DeHart Says:
Amen, sister! I think writers are a strange combination of insecurity, competitiveness, courage, perfectionism, optimism and insanity. Neurotic if you want one word. I know reviews will be hitting for my March release soon and I get so nervous thinking about it. Kind reader e-mails always make me feel better, but one nasty one can ruin me for days. But like you, Shana, I really hate to disappoint. Ah…we’re so needy.