On Monday I had to go back to work. Not that I haven’t been working all along. I was writing full-time, but due to the upcoming holidays and a shortfall of money a few months ago, I decided I’d better have a back-up plan to pay the bills when my advances aren’t as quick in coming as I’d like. So I went back to teaching. Not actual teaching, but substituting.

Now, if you’re a teacher, and you like teaching, you can stop reading right now. I am not going to say anything warm and fuzzy about teaching. I’m not going to say anything bad about teachers, either, so don’t worry. Just go back to your die-cuts and your manipulatives, and go about your way.

For the rest of you, let me just say that there is not another job worse than teaching. Really. I have worked in fast food. I have worked in all sorts of retail. I have done phone solicitation. None of these is as bad as teaching. If you are a civilian, then I’m sure it’s hard for you to imagine what could be so bad. Teaching is a joke, right? You hand out the work , then sit at your desk reading the newspaper. Right, and if I’d done that, my students would have set the building on fire.

Now, I didn’t always teach in the most ideal environments. I taught in the inner city and I taught middle school, which everyone in education knows is the absolute worst age ever invented. I also taught high school in the suburbs, but even that wasn’t a piece of cake, though I didn’t worry about the fire escape route quite so much.

But substituting is the absolute worst. I knew it would be. I knew I’d hate it, but how else can I make $70 a day and choose my own days and places to work? Still, after teaching Monday, I couldn’t help but walk out of there and think, all I made was $70 for this? And that was before taxes! My feet hurt, my back hurt, my head hurt. I’d had to answer questions about math and social studies, explain why it’s not nice to call your neighbor a motherf**er, listen to the words from the latest lewd rap song, and basically be ignored by a bunch of 13-year-old punks. If you have a week where you are starting to feel good about yourself and like you are, maybe not an important person, but like you do something for the world and you are someone in the world, go teach for a day. Those kids will show you very quickly that you are pretty much nothing and no one.

Thank goodness Ultimate Sportsfan works in a school and understands all this. He knew to come in the door yesterday holding flowers. He must have known I was on the edge of tears when I got home. And I can’t be the only one. There have to be jobs just as bad as teaching/subbing.

I just can’t think of any.

So you tell me your worst jobs ever. I have to keep subbing for the time being, and maybe I can think about the jobs worse than mine when I’m in there doing crowd control.

And if you’re a teacher and still reading, follow directions next time!

Well, better late than never.

I’ve been in the midst of revisions that are due back to my editor on Monday, and as a result I pretty much forgot everything else, including blogging. Bad Kim! I’d tie a string around my finger to help me remember, but it’s a bit like that joke about the man who had to tie a string around the finger on his left hand to remind him what the string around the finger on his right hand is for. LOL!

We had our first substantial snowfall here along the Indiana/Kentucky border today, and while it’s very pretty to look at, it has been hazardous on road conditions. From my previous blog entries, you may have guessed that I am a procrastinator. I have things I need at the store that I have been putting off getting until after revisions, and now that the snow has come I have a deathly fear of venturing out in it. You may have also guessed that I tend to be a bit of a baby. I don’t like being cold. Or wet. And I especially don’t like being both. But snow does put me in mind of hot cocoa and a roaring fire. (And now I sense my tall, handsome, well-built lumberjack fantasy coming on…)

May the rest of you enjoy your share of beautiful winter weather. And drive safely!

I am so in the Christmas spirit these last few weeks, I’m surprised my ears haven’t pointed and I’m not wearing bells on my shoes. It sort of feels like Christmas nesting – all I want to do is decorate, shop, wrap and bake. Thankfully there are constraints in my life that have prevented me from permanently trading in the laptop for sleigh.

Decorations: Okay, I’ll fess up – our tree has been up since before Thanksgiving. My mother always gave us an ornament each year when we were growing up so that when we left home, we’d have ornaments full of memories to put on our tree. So every year when I unwrap them all, I remember little things about each of them. The only thing that’s not working on our beautiful tree is our tree skirt. Our rotten kitties love to play under the tree and they move and shuffle that thing until it’s all wadded up. Yesterday I came into the living room to find it clear across the room. But they’re not eating the ornaments or climbing the tree, so I’m counting my blessings. Aside from the tree, we have holly garland and bows on our porch with a wreath made by yours truly and inside more garland on the mantle with out oh-so-cute Target stockings, oh and the table is all decked out with holiday flair. And we mustn’t forget all the little Santa’s and Snowmen that grace any number of empty spaces.

Shopping: If I don’t stop soon, I’ll have to start moonlighting somewhere and that just would get in the way of my TV schedule. The Professor and I sponsored a foster kid’s Christmas, so I had fun shopping for her. But most of everything else I’ve bought on-line to have delivered to my parent’s house since we’ll be there for the holidays and it’s better to ship them, then try to carry them in suitcases.

Wrapping: Well, I WANT to do this, but sadly haven’t been able to do any of it. At least not yet. Because we’re shipping our gifts, I won’t get to wrap for a few more weeks, but I’m imaging my packages with perfect seams and fluffy bows. I think this might have to do with sugar-induced thoughts more than reality, but we’ll see how it all works out.

Baking: Ah…my favorite part. Well, my favorite part of the holiday preparation. I love to bake. I have my amazing Kitchen Aid mixer (it’s blue and so pretty ) and it just begs me to create yummy concoctions. So I’ve been baking. And aside from the occasional taste here and there, I try to bake and then shove The Professor out the door with tins full of goodies in his arms. Get it out of my house. Other wise my Weight Watcher weigh-ins leave me in a sobbing puddle. So while The Professor’s colleagues are munching away on yesterday’s goodies, I’m developing what I’ll make next. Yesterday I made toffee, today it was peanut-butter fudge, and tomorrow I’ll start on my sugar cookies, my signature dish (the recipe for this one is on my website in the Avon Author holiday recipe ring right now).

So that’s me. I haven’t yet pulled out my Christmas sweaters, socks and earrings, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they’ll make an appearance this weekend. Jingle, jingle.

Funny how some people thrive on it and others run from it … er, I mean, they saunter away from it as fast as they can.

My husband is an exercise freak. Sort of. I mean, he’s been a runner since age 17, but he’s not obsessive about it. He has always done warm-up calisthenics before a 4-5 mile run every day. When he has to go away for a day or two on business, he takes his running clothes. At his last job, they had an exercise club at work and he got into weight training. So now he lifts weights 3 times a week, and runs the other days.

Me, I get tired thinking about all that.

My thing is walking. I’ve got two dogs and I enjoy taking them on a 2 mile hike every morning. And if it’s really too cold or icy outside, I’ve got a treadmill that works great (but the dogs give me those sad, sad eyes when I jump on). Unfortunately, I hurt my foot a few weeks ago and it’s painful to walk. I have no idea what’s wrong … The darn thing just wouldn’t go away like most aches and pains, so I’m going to the foot doctor this morning. He’ll probably give me a cortisone shot and it’ll be all better.

I hope so … walking relieves me of ‘the willies’ – you know – that nervous, pent-up energy you get when you sit in front of a manuscript all day long. I get some of my best ideas when I’m walking, and in general, it clears my head, so I really miss it.

Until I can get back on track, I’ll keep lifting my weights (a LOT smaller than my husband’s) and watch the other walkers go past my house in 10 degree weather. Brrrr!!

December is one of my favorite months. Perhaps tied with August for my favorite. December is the month for scarves and turtlenecks, warm woolen hugs and family gatherings. It’s also my birthday month, so perhaps I’m a little biased.

What is it about the beginning of winter that makes it such an appealing time? Perhaps the Holiday carols and tunes, the warmth of friendship caught-back-up through cards, photos and updates, the extra spring to the step and extra dollar dropped into the help bins. The hope that permeates the air and tantalizing taste of good things to come.

I know that when January hits I will be using the the SHIFT key combined with the numbers on top of my keyboard to show my thoughts on the weather, but until then I am in my blissful little holiday bubble of hope and renewal. What about you?

Happy December, Jaunties!

Don’t care what the clock says — I haven’t gone to bed yet, so it’s still Sunday the 4th.

Earlier this evening, I wanted to see where the announcement for the Avon Ladies Recipe Ring was posted, so I logged onto the Avon Authors bulletin board. I don’t do this often, because there’s this weird time/space warp thing that happens when I do so — vast quantities of time just disappears. (Same warp happens when I step inside a bookstore, except money disappears then, as well as time.) Found the notice, then made the mistake of skimming over the topics of discussion, and got caught up in reading the Favorite Movie Lines thread. Made me think about my favorites, and why.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” is a totally innocuous, possibly even boring, statement. In the context of When Harry Met Sally, however, it’s very funny.

It’s not a noble speech about self-sacrifice, like the one in Casablanca, or some other poignant collection of words beautifully delivered, but I think it’s much better. Those five words make you think about what came right before them that makes the scene so funny, which reminds you of another line from the movie, which reminds you of another scene, and before you know it, you’ve experienced the entire movie again in your head, all because of five words.

Some lines are great because they encapsulate the character, like “But why is all the rum gone?” or they convey the point of the whole movie, like “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

What are some of your favorite lines, and why?

PS: Anne, happy birthday from a fellow Sagittarian!

Have you ever read a book and the hero or heroine has a name that reminds you of a person you’re not particularly fond of? Or perhaps the name seems dated and you can’t imagine someone in that period of history or a modern-day twenty-something-year-old with that name. An example would be I read a contemporary novel where the hero (late twenties, early thirties cool guy) was named Bruce????? I just couldn’t get into the story.

One of the best things about being an author is creating characters. You can make them act like you want, say what you want them to say and even have the name you want them to have. How do I come up with the names? First I don’t choose any names I personally dislike for the heroine or hero….maybe for a secondary character–although that can come back to bite you, if you decide to write that character’s story sometime in the future. If I can’t think of a name I like that seems to fit the type of character, then I pull out a book called The Baby Name Personality Survey. The authors of this survey asked people what a certain name brought to mind. For example, a character named Ingrid would probably not bring to mind jet black hair and dark eyes. Occasionally I’ll go out to www.kabalarians.com and you can look up a name and it gives you personality characterists. Kind of fun to fool around with on a snowy day (like we currently have here in Nebraska)

It’s also kind of fun to look back on names I’ve used. I’ve written 14 category romances for Harlequin and here are the names I’ve used (just in case you’re interested)

Hero: Dan, Jake, Nick, Tony, Crow (nickname), Jack, David, Clay, Drew, Nick, Carson,Matt, Jay, Alex….and in my book for Avon–Robert

Heroine: Faith, Angel, Taylor, Claire, Sara, Trish, Christy, Kaitlyn, Grace, Libby, Sierra, Rachel, Lauren…and in my book for Avon–Jenny.

In the book for Avon (scheduled for release in 2007) the heroine lives two lives. Here’s a test question. She goes by two names: Jenny and Jasmine. Can you guess which is her name when she’s being good and which is her name when she’s being bad?

You’re right….it’s waaaaay too easy. Have a piece of chocolate to celebrate your right answer!!

It’s pretty simple in romance novels to know who the hero is. It’s usually the studly alpha male the heroine hates the most. It’s the guy she would never, ever have picked to fall in love with. The guy she finds herself inevitably drawn to against all her wishes to the contrary.

In the real world it’s not quite that simple. How do you know (or how did you know) that your guy is THE guy? When I first starting dating Ultimate Sportsfan, I thought about this a lot. My friend Tina even gave me a book titled IS HE THE ONE? to help me figure it out. It has helpful little questions like, “When you give him a great smile, does he smile back?”, “Does he kiss you firmly?”, and “Does he wear a seatbelt?”

Random questions, but they do make you think. I’ve told Ultimate Sportsfan more than once that he isn’t the guy I would have picked to fall in love with. We’re complete opposites. I went to UT. He went to A&M. I am a writer. He doesn’t like to read books. He likes sports (hence the nickname). I hate sports.

And yet, I knew pretty early that he was THE ONE. My parents said they knew when I went to a college football game with him. My sister said she knew when I spent $30 to make a 3 minute call to him from Belize. I knew when I couldn’t stop thinking about him and when there was nothing else I’d rather do than be with him.

The book asks: “Are you happy with his housekeeping habits?” and “Is it hard or easy to rent a movie that you’d both want to watch?” Answers — not in any particular order — No and Hard. But does that mean he’s not THE ONE? I mean, surely even heroes in romance novels leave their dirty underwear on the floor sometimes, right? Not my heroes, of course, but I’m pretty sure I read a Jenny Crusie book once where that happened…

I have always been a very shy sort of person.

Okay, Anne, you can quit laughing now. I swear it’s the truth. Never mind the fact that I was in drama all through high school and even sang solo in my church choir’s Christmas pageant one year. There is something about the bright lights shining in your eyes that blinds you to the sea of faces in the audience, so whenever I was performing I could almost pretend I was alone. But get me standing behind the podium in one of my classes to present a school project or read an essay aloud and I would choke. It was a struggle for me to even think of the words to say, much less say them. As Shana can attest, I’m a lot more quiet in person than I am online.

Though I’ve gotten a bit better at this as I’ve grown older, writers tend to be reclusive creatures by nature, and I must admit that I have always been far more comfortable communicating by keyboard than face to face. Never did I imagine once I sold my first book that I would be forced out of that safe little box. In my mind, I pictured a life of typing away industriously day after day, and it just never occurred to me that part of being an author would involve developing a public persona. But what with booksignings, giving talks and presentations, and being included on writing panels and in workshops, I’ve had to learn really fast to get past my initial backwardness. It hasn’t been easy. I’m still working on it, but I’m making progress.

So, is there anything any of you have had to overcome in order to do something you wanted to do? I would personally be interested in any suggestions on how to get past shyness. Every little bit of advice helps, after all.