Well, it’s that time of year again, ladies and gents. The time that all procrastinators such as I look forward to with relish and eager anticipation. (And yes, you DO hear a touch of sarcasm in that statement, folks!) That’s right. It’s time for the annual last minute wrapping of the gifts. Time to eye the huge mound of presents you have purchased for every single person you know and wonder why you didn’t decide to just get them all gift cards.
Sigh. Yes, I know I sound like a Scrooge, but I do this to myself every year. Somehow, I always wind up waiting until the last minute and then I have to rush to get all my wrapping done on Christmas Eve. This year I have no excuses. I’m between books and have the extra time, but I have spent that extra time doing things like feeding my sad soap opera addiction. (See last Thursday’s blog for the details on that.) I swear, I meant to do things differently this Christmas. I promised myself that I would sit down last night and do it, but somehow I couldn’t quite bring myself to follow through. There were too many other things that I far preferred doing. Like ramming bamboo shoots under my fingernails, for instance…
It would be one thing if I halfway enjoyed this chore or was even any good at it. But sadly, I inherited NONE of my parents’ genes when it comes to wrapping. (IS there a wrapping gene?) My father is very artsy and makes a huge production out of wrapping his gifts every year. He gets very creative, coming up with new ways to fashion ribbons and bows that are astonishing. My mother isn’t as elaborate as my dad, but she is very neat and precise. All of her presents are wrapped just so, with perfectly folded corners and not a lump or bump to be seen. It’s mind-boggling for someone like me, who has problems just getting the paper off the roll.
There must be a secret to all of this, but if there is, I haven’t been able to discover it. If there were classes in Giftwrapping 101, I should probably be first in line to take them. For not only am I a procrastinator, but I stink at wrapping. It is a running joke at Christmas time that you can always tell which gifts under the tree are from me, even without looking at the tags. I wouldn’t know a perfectly folded corner if it bit me. There are bumps and lumps galore and so much tape that they look as if they have been mummified. Even my niece and nephews are starting to eye me with pity.
Oh, well. I suppose we can’t all be expert wrappers. I always tell everyone that they are only going to tear the paper off anyway. It’s what’s inside that counts. But now, I suppose it’s time for me to get back to coming up with ways to avoid…er, I mean I need to get back to wrapping.
A very Merry Christmas to you all!