I guess change is an integral part of life, as much as we struggle against it. In the past, my family has always kept certain traditions for the holidays. These traditions have been pretty much sacrosanct – don’t let my kids hear that we might do something different! I usually host Thanksgiving for my side of the family and any of my husband’s siblings who are on the loose. We have Christmas Eve with my family – usually at my mom’s, and Christmas Day with the inlaws.

This year, things have really changed. We became empty-nesters in late August when our youngest son went away to college. Three days later, my mom died after a brief illness, and my husband started a new job the day after her funeral. It seemed like everything was in flux, good mixed with bad, although the bad was overwhelmingly potent.

I think we’ve all been dreading the holidays, aware that even if we follow tradition to the letter, there will be a huge void in the festivities. Part of me wants to do something entirely different – like go on a cruise! The other part wants to do what we’ve always done, maybe to prove that we can actually do it – we can go on, we can survive.

So Thursday will be a big test for all of us, especially for my four siblings and me, to see how we manage our loss and to be thankful that we were all able put our own lives on hold in order to take care of my mom in the last weeks of her life. I’m sure the first holiday without her will be the hardest, and though we’ll always miss her, we’ll eventually adapt to the change.