November 30, 2005

What’s the big hairy deal?

Fellow Avon author, Jacquie D’Allasandro has told me on more than one occasion that I have heroine hair. This is a great compliment, but it’s time that the truth came out. I have naturally curly hair. Okay…I have mostly naturally curly hair, with some of it naturally, let’s say frizzy. That might be a bit of a stretch as well. Let’s try this. Some of my hair is naturally curly – I was actually born with curls – but some of it is wavy, some is frizzy and some just won’t cooperate at all.

So here’s my big confession. I get a perm once a year to even things out. There I’ve said it. I’ve come clean. I don’t really have heroine hair. It’s not pure and natural and glorious. It’s manufactured, assisted, and chemically enhanced. I have to use a $100 straightening iron to pull all these corkscrews out and then it lays there, flat, lifeless and boring. Which is why I continue to get those annual “treatments” because my hair just works better all wound up.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most women don’t love their hair. We just make peace with it, or at least strive to on a regular basis. But we all seem obsess about it. The color, the texture, the cut, the everything. It’s enough to drive you nuts. This might explain why most romance heroines come with perfect hair. That as much as the hero is part of our fantasy.

And you know for the most part all this fretting we do is for all the other women in the world because most men don’t even notice. The Professor has voiced that he prefers my hair curly to the ironed straight look, but says the straight is a nice change when I do it. Diplomatic, that man.

It’s the same with all beauty. Our make-up, our clothes, shoes. Oh, don’t even get me started on my shoes (I’m trying to discover how many pairs of black shoes you can own at one time).

I’m picky about my products – I hate to admit I’m a snob in that regard, but I can be. Nothing but Avedo goes in my hair and my skin care regime is all Origins. The make-up varies from product to product, but I’m set on certain items for the most part. Like my mascara. It must be L’Oreal Voluminous. I’ve tried every expensive mascara on the market and this one just works better. I don’t know what I’ll do if they discontinue it. But seeing as I don’t put make-up on everyday now, perhaps that tube I have in my drawer will last a bit longer.

So what are your beauty secrets?

November 29, 2005

In Need of a Makeover

My office, that is. It’s a pit. I usually do a complete cleaning after every book – about twice a year. And I mean, a really good cleaning. I move my desk and vacuum behind it (and find whatever little treasures fell back there over the past few months). I put all my research books back into the two bookcases and file all the receipts and letters and maps and things that have accumulated on top of every surface.

There are usually a few items that I’ve purchased – still in the bags – on the floor on the far side of the bookcase. I’ll check those out and see if I still need whatever’s in them. I’ve got a few gifts in here, too (since my birthday was a few weeks ago) and I’ll have to put them away.

Gosh, I sound ungrateful, don’t I? But the thing is that I get so preoccupied with the current manuscript that I don’t think about organizing things while I’m in here. I write. If I’m cleaning, I’m not writing … and as close to deadline as I am, I’d better be sitting with my fingers on the keyboard!

I usually try to arrange my deadlines so that they don’t conflict too much with real life. Like the holidays. Unfortunately, my current deadline was pushed back four weeks because I got waaaay behind this summer with my mom’s illness. So I’m working like crazy to get the book done for my January first deadline. Great way to start the new year, with a manuscript in the mail.

And a nice clean office 

November 28, 2005

Monday appeal

The Monday after Thanksgiving weekend, ooh, baby. Is there anything longer than the full work week following a long weekend? Feels like Friday is an awfully long way off. But just think, it gives you more time to get or finish whatever it is that needs getting or finishing. Change your oil? Buy more gifts? Call a long lost friend? Knit a sweater? Hire someone to shovel snow? Extra days to do it, my friend. And you can even do it with Christmas tunes playing in the background, because just like wearing white after Memorial Day, Christmas tunes are back in!

How was everyone’s weekend? My work/play tally was pretty good. Went hiking on Turkey Day (post-yummy-Turkey consumption), played hermit on Friday (decided against leaving the house), bought a few gifts and went to the Stanford/Notre Dame football game on Saturday (Watching the game, fun! Parking, boo!) and basically kicked back for much of the in between. Got a lot of writing done, replotted a major section (most excellent, precioussss) and made a few jewelry pieces on Sunday (Mom, stop trying to figure out what you are getting!). All in all, a very pleasant weekend. I hope to hear everyone else had a nice (and healthy) holiday as well.

It’s Monday, yes. But it’s Monday with holiday cheer.

Attitude will determine your altitude

I’m usually uplifted by the things I hear at church, and often given things to ponder in a new light. Today was no exception. After an opening hymn about Thanksgiving, one of the speakers carried that theme over to gratitude and gratefulness.

Think about someone you know who always seems happy. I’ll bet you she has an attitude of gratitude – grateful for the blessings in her life, and is able to recognize and acknowledge those blessings. She’s thankful for the glimpse of blue sky when there’s a break in the rain clouds, rather than bemoaning the fact that we’re only two months into the rainy season, and have six more to go.

On Thanksgiving, I was grateful to have my mom and her husband in our home, and hear her laugh as we watched Shrek 2 after dinner. (Antonio Banderas was hysterical as Puss in Boots.) In February, Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am grateful that it was caught early, and that all the cancer cells were removed with surgery. She still had to go through chemo and radiation, which was unpleasant, to say the least. Rather than bemoan the loss of her hair, Mom chose to have fun collecting hats and wigs. One of her favorites, just for the shock value, was a platinum blonde number that had been dyed electric pink by the previous owner. Washing it removed most of the dye, so instead of a little blue-haired old lady, she was a pink-haired old lady. (Well, she’s not really that old…)

When Shrek finished, Mom wanted to know my birthday and Christmas wish list (they’re four days apart). I was hard pressed to come up with stuff, because I already have everything I really want.

Seriously, most of my dreams came true this year: After more than a decade of getting rejection letters, my first novel was published in January, received great reviews, sold well, and feedback from readers has put me on cloud nine. Avon contracted me for two more books so far, so I won’t be a one-book-wonder. My husband of 19 years started thinking about Really Big Picture things, and joined the church – he was baptized on his birthday. We’re planning to be married in the temple in the spring, one year after his baptism. Not only do I love him, but I like him enough to want to spend eternity with him.

After careful consideration while the turkey dinner digested, I did manage to come up with a few things I wouldn’t mind finding under the tree. Somehow there are still one or two Johnny Depp DVDs I don’t have yet. I’ve found a way to make my obsession be useful: by listening to DVD commentary tracks, I’ve gotten insight into the thoughts of actors, writers and directors — why they included certain elements, why some scenes were cut, how and why they developed the character a certain way. There are a lot of parallels between making a movie and writing a book. We’re all telling a story.

But I digress. I guess the point of this rambling dissertation is stating my intent to maintain an attitude of gratitude, through the holiday season and beyond. I have been richly blessed, in so many ways.

Oh, and to remind you – if you haven’t had a check-up in the last year, get one!

November 26, 2005

Special Gifts by Cindy Kirk

I was just reading a feature article in my local newspaper where they asked various people in the community what was the most special gift they’d ever received. One of the women saidthat her daughter had given her a journal. Throughout the previous year the daughter had written about things the mother had done and why that made her mother so special. Even though it had been twenty years since the woman received the gift of that book, it is still treasured.

What kind of special things have you gotten or given? I’d be interested in knowing since I like to do non-traditional gifts, especially for those few select people who mean the most to me. And Christmas is coming up… How many more shopping days??

The whole notion of giving of yourself also reminded me of a workshop I went to where the speaker said you should give seven “sincere” compliments each day. I tried that for a while. It’s really hard to do (try it yourself if you don’t believe me). So, I’m thinking of doing ONE sincere compliment a day……oh, wait, I’m jumping even further ahead. That sounds suspiciously like a New Year’s resolution….more about that later.

Anyway, for some reason I haven’t yet gotten into the Christmas spirit, so I’m hoping your suggestions will spur me on to making this the best Christmas ever!

November 25, 2005

The Twelfth Commandment

Every woman knows that the day after Thanksgiving is sacred. I think it’s in the Old Testament somewhere, verse $19.99: “And God said, thy day after the Feast of Thanks shall be reserved for shopping. Thy malls will open at 5 a.m., and thy bargains and rebate offers shall be too numerous to count. And it was good.”

Well, this year, Ultimate Sportsfan (my fiancé), wants to break the covenant. He’s gone completely atheist on me and wants to go to the Texas vs. A&M football game. The game starts at 11 a.m., and it’s being played in College Station, Texas. We have to leave our home at 7:30 a.m. this morning so we can tailgate before the game.

9 a.m. tailgating?

Here’s the other thing. Ultimate Sportsfan went to Texas A&M. I went to the University of Texas. Now not only is Ultimate Sportsfan trying to corrupt The Day of Shopping, he wants me to wear A&M colors to the game. Not going to happen. So what if I don’t care about football and don’t care who wins? I support my alma mater — as long as it doesn’t interfere with shopping.

I told Ultimate Sportsfan that by attending this game we were breaking the Twelfth Commandment. I told him we were blaspheming the day God set aside for shopping, but Ultimate Sportsfan has obviously been possessed by evil spirits because he refuses to see reason.

So think of me as you run merrily through the malls, arms full of bargains and good cheer. Think of me as you snuggle in your cozy bed. I’ll be outside. In the cold. Watching grown men chase a ball. Wearing the burnt orange shirt in the maroon and white section.

P.S. Follow-up to “I Could Burn Microwave Popocorn”

I told the truth about my Thanksgiving contribution. When my future mother-in-law asked how I made my mashed potatoes, I was so tempted to talk about grating herbs and boiling potatoes and mashing until my little arms were aching. Instead, I took a deep breath and said, “I added water.” Thank God she didn’t ask about the banana bread.

November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving : The Underrated holiday?

Thanksgiving has never been my favorite holiday. Actually, it’s a sad fact that if I had ever taken the time to make a list of my favorite holidays, it would more than likely have fallen somewhere toward the bottom of it, a bit below Memorial Day, but above Labor and Arbor Days.

I mean, let’s face it. Thanksgiving doesn’t have the flash and fun of Christmas. There are no colored lights to string or gifts given or received. It doesn’t have the high sugar quotient of Valentine’s Day or Easter or Halloween, and Halloween has the added bonus of being able to dress up in costume. (Although there was that one notable year my Uncle Ralph rented a turkey costume and…er, maybe I won’t get into that.) Even the 4th of July has the warmth of Summer going for it, while Thanksgiving falls right in the midst of some of the coldest, bleakest days of November. And while I’ve always appreciated the good food, once it has been eaten you have the clean-up to face. Oh, and let’s not forget the excitement of watching the males of the household sack out in the living room to take control of the television remote with one hand tucked in their waistbands, Al Bundy-style.

But lately I’ve had a little more time to reflect on things, and I have come to the conclusion that I have given Thanksgiving way too little credit. It may not have the fanfare of some of the other holidays, but there is much to be said for a quiet time of getting together with relatives and reflecting on the many things we have to be grateful for. And I have realized this year just how much I DO have to be grateful for. Not only am I lucky enough to have all the immediate members of my family still with me and close around me, but my most longed for dream has finally come true. I am a published author. I can’t tell you how much of a thrill saying those words gives me even now, almost two years after I sold that first book. With the release of A Kiss Before Dawn on November 29th, I will have my second book on the shelves with a third book on the way in July of 2006. How can I not give thanks and count my blessings when I have so very much I have been blessed with?

I think Thanksgiving just became my new favorite holiday.

Happy Turkey Day everyone!

November 23, 2005

Ah, the joys of holiday travel.

It all started on Monday after I dropped The Professor off at work. I had several things on my to-do list, but I’d just remembered one more. Make sugar cookies. Now I’ve mentioned these on here before (and the recipe is coming, I promise), this is like my baking “thing”, it’s what I do. And since we aren’t coming back up here to Ohio for Christmas, I’d promised to bring the cookies for Turkey Day instead. Only I’d forgotten to make them. I usually do this in a two-day procedure because frankly, they’re labor intensive. But I had everything I needed at home, so off I went to begin the long process.

Everything was going as planned, but then all of a sudden the dough was really wet. This is unusual because it’s a very dry dough, on normal days. I began wondering if I’d added too much water, or perhaps I’d miscounted my cups of flour. I added more flour, then reached in to grab the dough so I could form it into a ball and chill it for a few hours before rolling and cutting. Have you ever heard that you can make homemade glue with flour and water? As I was peeling this goop off of my hands, I had a vague recollection of that from elementary school.

Needless to say, a bit more flour and I had it to a consistency that could be rolled into a ball. It was stickier than normal to roll out, but I managed to get them done and they actually taste like they normally do. Crisis averted.

But that was Monday. Yesterday was entirely different. The Professor had one class to teach, I had my Weight Watchers meeting to attend and then we were heading back home to pack, settle the cats in, and then hit the road for our 2+ hour drive to the airport. I’d already done the laundry, so the packing would be a cinch. Only it’s hard to pack when you have a 20lb cat sitting in the suitcase – they always know when we’re leaving. The other one threw-up in the hall…ick! But an hour or so later and we were ready to go, only to discover that the main road out of our subdivision was closed due to a gas leak. Hmmm….now we’ve only lived in this town since mid-August, so we haven’t exactly explored other options (this would be why I sat for an hour behind a garbage truck last week….more on that another time). But we managed to figure a way out and we made it to the airport 3 hours before our flight. Phew!

The flight was fine. The Professor slept – as usual. And I wrote. Oh, and Anne, you were right there was a dirty guy behind me, only he wasn’t a codger, but rather a college student which was somehow more unnerving. I managed to get the screen minimized enough that I don’t think he could read it, afterall, I had miraculously timed things so that I was working on a love scene right there on the plane.

But then we got here and oh….there’s snow. On the ground and more in the forecast. Suddenly all of the hurried stress is forgotten. Being a Texas girl, this cold, white powder is like a gift from heaven, so beautiful and sparkling, it just mesmerizes me. So I’m relaxed and very much looking forward to my short vacation here.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I, for one, have much to be thankful for.

November 22, 2005

Change

I guess change is an integral part of life, as much as we struggle against it. In the past, my family has always kept certain traditions for the holidays. These traditions have been pretty much sacrosanct – don’t let my kids hear that we might do something different! I usually host Thanksgiving for my side of the family and any of my husband’s siblings who are on the loose. We have Christmas Eve with my family – usually at my mom’s, and Christmas Day with the inlaws.

This year, things have really changed. We became empty-nesters in late August when our youngest son went away to college. Three days later, my mom died after a brief illness, and my husband started a new job the day after her funeral. It seemed like everything was in flux, good mixed with bad, although the bad was overwhelmingly potent.

I think we’ve all been dreading the holidays, aware that even if we follow tradition to the letter, there will be a huge void in the festivities. Part of me wants to do something entirely different – like go on a cruise! The other part wants to do what we’ve always done, maybe to prove that we can actually do it – we can go on, we can survive.

So Thursday will be a big test for all of us, especially for my four siblings and me, to see how we manage our loss and to be thankful that we were all able put our own lives on hold in order to take care of my mom in the last weeks of her life. I’m sure the first holiday without her will be the hardest, and though we’ll always miss her, we’ll eventually adapt to the change.

November 21, 2005

Relax vs. Accomplish

You ever have those days where you wonder “what the heck did I do today?”

You wake up, an entire day to accomplish whatever you have planned stretches before you, a smile graces your features as you eat your cereal/drink your coffee/flip through the newspaper. You check your e-mail, the Internet, play a few games to get you going, maybe flip through a few TV channels, grab lunch, check your e-mail, respond to a friend, play one more game, respond to another e-mail (a rather involved one from a friend seeking advice), wait for her to respond, write another note, check other e-mail, check your favorite Internet sites (it’s been a few hours), check that thirty minute show on TV, check the time, make dinner, watch a one hour show, check e-mail, check the Internet (it’s been a few hours), blink in shock that it is nearly time to go to bed. What?!

With the long weekend approaching, I have two choices. Relax or accomplish. I can relax and let go or get busy and start striking things from my list of to-do’s. What I find most stressful (and guilt inducing) is if I decide to go with “accomplish” but end up in “relax” — when I decide to do something specific, but end up with the itinerary from the paragraph above. On the other hand, when I decide from the get-go to switch the mode to relax…ahhhhhh, bliss…the above itinerary wouldn’t stress me out a bit.

It all seems to center around my upfront expectations and whether I meet them. So this holiday weekend I’m going to try one day of pure relax, one half and half day, and two days of accomplish. Think it will work? I’ll have the report next Monday.

What do you plan to do this Thanksgiving weekend? Relax? Spend time with family? Buy gifts? Run errands? Finish that book? Whatever it is, I hope it leaves you with a smile on your face and a spring to your step.